Let's talk about me first My parents in poor counties and rural areas go to other places to work several times a year. Later, my parents didn't want to take our two brothers to the big city. Everything is novel. It seemed that they were sensible at that time. Instead of clamoring for parents to buy things, I feel very hard. It is difficult for every family to get out of the countryside for money, so parents quarrel constantly in life, which actually has a great influence on children. Some of them are introverted and self-abased, but others become rebellious. Both of them have one thing in common, leaving this home where they quarrel every day.
After graduating from junior high school, I went out to work with my parents. My first job was a long night shift. It's really hard. No socializing, no entertainment. I just went to work and went to bed after work one day, so this is also the main reason for my inferiority. Why is it the main reason for my inferiority complex? Later, I ended my first job and started a new one. I started to have an entertainment circle. Under the guidance of my friends, I realized that I thought I could actually afford expensive things. In the past, I didn't dare to go into a decorated shop whether I was eating or buying clothes. I've always been afraid of being humiliated when I go in. Now think about it, no matter how big the mall is, there are bargains you can afford.
As for willfulness, I think it is either rich or heartless. If you have money, your inferiority complex may have nothing to do with you. Why do you say you are cruel and heartless? You dare to be willful. If you are a stranger, you will definitely slap. For the parents around you, you have repeatedly asked to wipe your ass after you finish. Don't you think it's cruel? Besides, people who dare not lose their temper have no money, no money or no money [tears]
In the final analysis, in today's society, if you have enough money, you can be willful and lose your temper without feeling inferior [cool] [cool].
This is influenced by his growing environment, but as long as he is out of this environment for a long time, he will change. I used to be in this situation, because my sister is more sensible than me and has been living in her shadow. Later, I went to other cities to live alone, and now when I come home, my family says that I have changed and become better than my sister. But they don't know that I just want to change for myself, not for anyone.
This is a cultured and educated person with high quality. Unlike those uneducated people, they swear when they export, and they fight when they raise their hands, because they know how to travel all over the world.
Because they think of themselves as light as reeds in their hearts, they are not sure of their weight in others' hearts at all, and care too much about others' feelings and evaluations. Even if one thing has nothing to do with them, they will naturally wonder if they have done something wrong.
That's because they guess that they don't have willful "capital", and most of this source comes from families. The formation of children's character has a great relationship with family education. In fact, everyone's nature is natural and casual, but it will change with age. Scene simulation:
For example, A clamored for a toy, but his parents satisfied him and gave him a willfulness. He knew he was spoiled. In the long run, maybe he won't hide anything in his personality, because he will feel that others will also accommodate him. However, if B wants toys, his parents refuse to buy them on the grounds that he has no spare money and won't turn around, hoping that he will be obedient and sensible. In fact, this child will gradually become "someone else's child", dare not ask or hope, just ask for the "praise" of his parents.
This is a problem that needs to be viewed in combination with reality. The hot topic once was why the younger generation is so free and easy, while the middle-aged people seem to be unable to take a step. A typical example is that if you are unhappy in a company, most young people will choose to leave, while more middle-aged people will choose to put up with it. Because they need to consider whether their current state can bear the consequences of venting their emotions. The other questions are the same. When we lose our temper, we always consider the object of anger. Is it anyone who can refute it? Similarly, if the real problems are ruled out, then such people who have reasonable space to vent their emotions choose to escape, which is probably caused by strict family education.
In fact, this inferiority complex will be gradually discovered after you have a certain ability to remember things. For example, when you were a child, someone else had a new toy box, but you didn't. At that time, you will only feel unhappy, but there are many such situations, piling up like mountains, and when you grow up, you will find that you have formed an inferiority complex. Because no one is perfect, even if someone is outstanding in appearance, his grades can't catch up with others, and vice versa. Therefore, inferiority is almost everyone's normal state, because no one is perfect, but just because they always compare their own shortcomings with the advantages of others, they naturally feel inferior.
Because he attaches too much importance to the relationship between people and refuses fairness and justice, he lacks integrity in guarding his own heart. People's initial heart is fair and just, and only an honest heart can approach this initial heart. Know the world without leaving home; Look at heaven without peeking. It is far away, but it knows very little. Why? Five-color blindness, five-tone deafness, five flavors, and wild hunting madness. I am extremely quiet and quiet, and I have a lot of husbands and things. I'll watch it. After all, call me back. Home, the heart is also. Virtual pole, the heart can know. Thinking and thinking in the mind, from perceptual knowledge to rational knowledge, is to close the door, block its communication, discourage its spirit, resolve its disputes and share its light dust. Keeping this heart is the same as doing nothing. Because we have kept the root of all things, fairness and justice are right. Because of this, nothing can be done. With this awe-inspiring righteousness, we dare not turn willfulness into a view of beauty without committing crimes, lose our temper into prohibiting ourselves from doing evil, and dare not turn inferiority into contempt. If you leave your heart, open it and help it, it will be far away from you and know little, and you will never be saved. Always be honest with others. Sincerity lies in yourself. If you don't have sincerity from the heart, you can know the world with sincerity. Don't look at the door of your heart, see the sky with sincerity. In a word, I want to live high, and I don't want to be a ghost. It is better to hate people than water, and people are like quicksand. Only what an honest heart pursues can be as indestructible as a rock. Therefore, anyone who leaves his heart and seeks praise from others is doomed to dare not be willful, lose his temper and feel inferior. In this case, the more people he looks for, the deeper he gets; When he begged, no one saved him.
This is me. I always feel that my ability is too small. I am ashamed that I didn't give my parents and son a normal living environment in the country and society. I always feel that the burden on my shoulders is very heavy, so I must carry it on. Sometimes I say to myself: others can fall, but I can't. Therefore, we are not allowed to be willful or fight, so we have to "do things in a down-to-earth manner and be serious." So I am an out-and-out citizen [yi tooth] [yi tooth]
These people have no backing and dependence since childhood, and even the most basic maternal love and fatherly love have never been enjoyed! It is not easy to grow up, knowing the hardships in life and the cruelty of reality! Everything can only depend on myself, so I dare not be willful or lose my temper, because for them, even if they are willful or occasionally lose their temper, no one will pay attention to them and only ask for it! Therefore, they will feel inferior and affect their lives. But such people are stubborn, tough on the surface, weak in heart, hard-working, indomitable, caring for their families, and often succeed very late! Such a man will be a very competent and good husband! But the emotional intelligence is low! Such a woman will often be a very caring and frugal wife! But lack of tenderness!
Hello, friend. The following is the note of an old friend of the counselor. I'm happy to answer your question.
"Why don't some people dare?" I think "dare not" is the key word in your question.
The so-called "dare not" means that we have no confidence to choose "willfulness" and "losing our temper" when faced with "this situation", "the decision that needs to lose our temper" and "the immediate conflict". Although we also wanted to be "willful" and "angry" at that time.
So, the key question here is, why don't we have confidence?
We often say that "a loving mother often loses her son." It means that indulging children too much will make them develop in a bad direction
And this bad direction, I think you know what it is in your heart. Yes, it is "the child is spoiled", "willful" and "angry with dissatisfaction"
This is contrary to the question mentioned by your friend.
Parents' arrogance brings children's willfulness and easy to lose their temper. On the contrary, if you don't get enough sense of security and support when you are young, you will lack corresponding self-confidence.
But this is not entirely the case.
Because some strict parents tend to treat their children mainly with sticks, they will also "love their children". But at this time, children make mistakes, parents educate children, children are stubborn, and parents continue to educate children until they bear it.
Then, in order to avoid the pain of flesh and blood, the child had to "yield". At this time, the child has developed "If I resist, I will bear a great price." Later, when faced with a similar situation, my heart will "conditioned" to stop myself.
So this time mainly lies in:
1, what have you gained in the process of growing up;
2. What has been developed in the process of growing up.
However, we need to expand here. The so-called harvest seems to come from the outside world and others, but more importantly, "what have I harvested?"
For example:
I have not been treated well by my parents since I was a child, which leads to my insecurity and habitual escape. But this has become my habit and a part of me. I don't know them. Without realizing that "I have these myself", there is no "solution".
So the simple understanding of "what have I gained" can be "how much do I know about myself". Or here, "do I see myself with this characteristic?" Only when we are aware of it can we have a basis for change.
So, that is to say, these friends with such characteristics, on the one hand, have harvested bad things, on the other hand, they have not realized that they have such characteristics, or only know part of them.
And if you want to change, the first step is naturally to increase your understanding of yourself.
Thank you, my friend, for reading. I hope my answer will help you see the real world clearly. Best wishes.
People who dare not be willful, lose their temper or feel inferior are self-aware and know how heavy they are. People who have no power, potential or money can only bear it, and never lose their temper willfully. Otherwise, it will pay a huge price. People with power and wealth are not afraid of willfulness or losing their temper. Because they have strong backing. You can't keep up with the competition and conform to the environment, so you will be healthy and harmonious.
Because I know empathy, I know how to reflect on myself, I know responsibility, and I know how to be grateful! I don't know how others understand it, that's how I understand it myself! I have two children, whether during pregnancy, the second month, or when the children were young, I have never been willful or lost my temper for no reason! Thank you very much for your help. My family is very harmonious! My in-laws often say that their ancestors met my daughter-in-law, and I often say that it was the blessing of my last life to enter such a loving family! Thank your husband's family! Grateful parents taught me a grateful heart [prayer] [prayer] [prayer]