This concept contains at least two meanings:
I have a little question:
On the other hand:
As we are traveling partners, it is hard to imagine when a person says in a friendly way:
Another person said:
This doesn't seem to be the normal way for traveling companions to communicate. Therefore, Master Irvin Yalom put forward the topic of "self-exposure" of therapists (consultants) in this book.
Nowadays, many people want to be psychological counselors (career counselors), and they enjoy the feeling of pointing out the direction to visitors and solving their psychological or professional problems during the consultation process. From the beginning, I used various titles and certificates to tell each other that I was extraordinary, and then I expected my titles and certificates to bring authority and gain the trust of visitors ... Although this expectation began with the desire to help others, I seem to agree with Mr. Irvin Yalom more:
Aaron puts sincerity to patients (visitors) in a very important position. He even thinks that the most important treatment is to "let the patient (visitor) completely present himself to another person (therapist) and still be accepted by the other party". Therefore, nothing can override the maintenance of the relationship between the therapist (consultant) and the patient (visitor). In this process, the therapist's most valuable resource is himself or herself.
The so-called most precious resource is yourself. My understanding includes three meanings:
Self-disclosure, in fact, does not insist on revealing one's private information regardless of the visitor, but "sincerely establishes a mutual trust consultation relationship with the patient (visitor), and the consultant will gradually disclose relevant information to the visitor to better complete the consultation task". Specifically, there are three types of self-exposure of therapists (consultants):
Exposure to the therapeutic mechanism is the most basic exposure. Confess what treatment mechanism you intend to use for patients (visitors). Patients (visitors) go to therapists (consultants) for treatment or consultation because they encounter anxious things, but to consult themselves. Facing a strange therapist (consultant), they are in an industry (environment) that they have never touched before and get an experience that they have never experienced before. This may often be because they are anxious about counseling because of problems, but they are anxious about counseling itself (secondary anxiety). In this case, properly exposing the counselor's own handling mechanism can systematically and step by step let visitors enter the consultation process and prepare for the establishment of trust relationship.
Exposing the feelings at the moment is a kind of self-protection in the negotiation process. In order to establish a relationship with patients (visitors), it is necessary to express the feelings of patients (visitors) at this moment. This is an emotional technology, but when we expose our feelings, we need to fully consider whether this exposure can promote the interests of patients (visitors). Irvin Yalom stressed:
This tells us that before expressing our feelings, we must judge carefully and express them in positive language as much as possible. Before expressing them, we must ask ourselves, "Is this good for patients (visitors)?"
The exposure of private information. Exposing the personal information of therapists (consultants) has always been a sensitive topic. From a certain point of view, psychological counselor/therapist is actually a "high-risk" industry. When patients (visitors) empathize, they often dislike or pester the therapist (consultant) and expose the personal information of the therapist (consultant), which may make patients (visitors) interfere with the personal life of the consultant and even endanger the safety of individuals and their families in serious cases. There is no doubt about it.
Therefore, many psychological counselors attach great importance to the protection of personal information and refuse to disclose any personal information to patients (visitors). Irvin Yalom said:
He believes that if a person wants to establish a sincere relationship with another person, he is unlikely to remain mysterious and not disclose any private information. Therefore, when the patient (visitor) wants to know whether he is married, whether he has children, or whether he feels difficult to deal with, he will answer directly. So, as a psychotherapist, why did Irvin Yalom, the Beidou of Mount Tai, do this? I think there are two factors:
At the right moment, my tutor, Mr. Du Jian, raised a question:
This is a very sharp question. When we can't help revealing ourselves in the process of consultation, especially when patients (visitors) can't help revealing personal information through the interface without asking, it needs to be conscious and use the technology of "here and now" to reflect on ourselves. I'm talking about this:
Don't think that "I have a secret, let me tell you …" can win the trust and secret of patients (visitors). Some patients (visitors) actually refuse to be exposed by psychological counselors. What they expect is an omnipotent therapist (consultant), not a living person with the same pain, confusion, confusion and even experience. This state of anti-self-exposure should not be exposed casually, but should be able to use the "here and now" technology to understand the expectations of patients (visitors) for therapists (consultants), and then further analyze and clarify them to break unreasonable beliefs.
Self-exposure is a very dangerous technology. For a novice consultant, it may be like a sharp knife without a handle. I always worry about hurting myself when I use it. Our attitude towards "self-exposure" should be the same as Zen.
In short, self-exposure, careful use, but not without.