I saw an interesting question on Zhihu the other day: "What should I do if I fall in love with a counselor?"
The next comment said that I have a good impression on female consultants, like returning to my student days and secretly loving girls. But he was helpless and didn't know if he should confess.
In fact, it is a normal psychological phenomenon for visitors to "fall in love" with consultants. Because psychological counselors can meet the emotional needs of visitors emotionally, without asking for emotional returns, which will make visitors feel safe and protected.
Psychologically, this is an empathy phenomenon. Refers to the process that visitors transfer unresolved wishes to consultants. This concept was first put forward by Freud.
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What is empathy? Visitors to psychological counseling can easily regard the counselor as an ideal friend-a friend who understands ta and does not criticize ta. Over time, there may be "fantasies about love, sex and even marriage" for psychological counselors.
At the same time, the relationship between two people is one-way, and psychological counselors always show their best side.
So in some cases, empathy can be an opportunity to solve problems in psychological counseling. If handled properly, empathy will guide and discover the problems that visitors want to solve.
If we ignore this feeling, we will actually miss an opportunity, an opportunity to solve major problems through consultation.
Of course, there are exceptions: when visitors want to consult questions and interpersonal relationships have nothing to do with emotions, such as acrophobia, insomnia, anorexia and so on. "Empathy" actually doesn't help much.
Faced with such a situation, visitors can change to a psychological counselor to better achieve the purpose of treatment.
What should tourists do? Visitors may find this problem, and their first thought is to escape, or completely want to stop this counseling relationship. But in fact, even if the consultation stops, the mood will not dissipate immediately.
What you have to do at this time is to share your feelings with the counselor. Counselors will also realize that "there is something deeper at work under your emotional life-something that needs further exploration."
Because counselors will be trained by visitors to have feelings for them, so don't worry, they can provide you with supportive guidance.
Generally speaking, a counselor will help you understand the source of these desires and feelings. Understand why these feelings are so strong and their relationship with the past and present.
Once visitors understand the reasons for this feeling, they will feel less fantasy or love, and they will understand and make changes.
In this case, make a consultation plan with the consultant! Make changes in a healthy way.
What should tourists not do? Never get emotional! ! !
Never hide it! ! !
Whether it is an impulse, an attraction, or an emotion, these are the best opportunities for consultants to understand visitors.
The empathy of visitors will also reflect many deep-seated problems in the eyes of consultants, among which the key is to solve the psychological problems of visitors!
The more information the consultant collects, the better the consulting effect will be.
Never try to hide your empathy, which may greatly reduce the efficiency of psychological counseling, and even affect the direction of psychological counseling, resulting in the original problem not being solved, but adding new problems.
For many very sensitive patients with mental illness, the concealment of empathy will even aggravate the patient's condition.
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How do visitors respond to the psychological counselor's reaction? Sometimes when sharing feelings, the counselor's response will be a little slow.
There may be several reasons for this:
Consultants have received technical training in this field, but they have never really dealt with this problem. The psychological counselor has not yet formed specific methods to help him control his emotions and restrain his reactions. Whatever the reason, the slow response is more related to the consultant than the visitor.
When visitors express their feelings to the counselor, whether it is anger, frustration, gratitude or love, if the counselor shows that they can't accept or avoid discussing these issues, then TA can be said to be incompetent, just like a surgeon will feel dizzy.
At this time, it is necessary to further communicate with the consultant, tell him that the discussion of your relationship is an important part of his work, and tell him how you feel, so that we can solve the problem. If it still doesn't work, I recommend another consultant to cooperate with you.
Reminder: Empathy before counseling is a very common effect in psychological counseling. However, if the visitors don't know the relevant knowledge before consulting, the problems caused by empathy are likely to affect the effect of psychological counseling.
In fact, it is not only empathy, but also a preliminary understanding of the consultant's understanding, consultation methods and common problems that may arise in the consultation process by making preparations in advance, thus greatly improving the consultation efficiency.
Just like shopping, before counseling, you should do your homework in advance, study more and compare more.
Be fully prepared before psychological counseling, visitors and psychological counselors are win-win!
? Alex Green, Pecks
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