Zheng Xie (1693— 1765), a native of Xinghua, Jiangsu Province, was a famous painter and writer in the Qing Dynasty.
Zheng Banqiao had a son in his later years. Naturally, he loves his son very much, but he never spoils him. He doesn't want to leave too much money for his son. What he is worried about is not that there are too few industries at home, but that his son can't carry the burden on his shoulders, the basket in his hand and the craft work. He lacks the means to make a living and the ability to stand on the world. When he was dying, he called his son to bed and said that he would eat the steamed bread made by his son himself. The son felt very strange, but his father's orders could not be violated, so he reluctantly agreed, but he complained in his heart because he could not do it at all. Seeing his son's reluctance, his father asked him to ask the chef for guidance, but made it clear that only his son could do it himself, and the chef could never help him directly.
My son hired a chef. He started by kneading and rolling noodles, and then learned to make steamed bread until his back ached and he was sweating. It took a lot of effort to make steamed bread. Wait until after eating steamed bread, happily sent to the bed, then Zheng Banqiao had died. The son cried and knelt by the bed. Suddenly, he found a note on the coffee table. He picked it up and read it. It said, "Sweat yourself, eat your own food, do your own things, rely on the sky, the ground and your ancestors. Not a hero! " Only then did the son understand his father's intention of making steamed bread himself when he was dying. It turned out that he was teaching him to learn to be self-reliant, not to rely on others, not to rely on his ancestors for a living.
Although the story of Zheng Banqiao's godson dying is short, it is profound and thought-provoking. In today's world, many people are desperately making money in the fierce competition. As far as their motivation is concerned, in addition to striving to improve and improve their living standards, to a large extent, they want to leave their children a rich sum of money, so that future generations can live richer and more comfortable lives. As for how to educate children to learn to be a man, learn to live, learn to make a living by themselves, and learn to create living conditions independently, they are all placed in a secondary position, in fact, putting the cart before the horse. This is called love, but it is actually harmful. In fact, children and grandchildren have no ability, virtue and talent, will not make a living independently, and will not be a man. Even if there is more inheritance, even if they leave Jinshan Yinshan, they will live in an empty land. For some people, the more inheritance, the greater the harm, which can only encourage them to be lazy, extravagant, extravagant, indulge in gambling, corrupt and degenerate, and even violate the law and discipline and run amok. In the end, they only ended up with a tragic ending.
Zheng Banqiao's practice of teaching his son on his deathbed is really for the long-term benefit of future generations, and people should get useful enlightenment from it. Instead of leaving more money to future generations, it is better to strengthen their education and cultivate them into talents with both ability and political integrity, real materials and independent means of making a living. I really appreciate the words of Shao Shouyi on the back cover of the magazine "Being a Man and Life",No. 1 andNo. 1997: "It is better to leave money for children than to teach them to be a man." I hope that parents all over the world can firmly remember this sentence of Mr. Shao.