At that time, I was only six years old and had a soft spot for birthdays. I like to celebrate my birthday, because I will have a big cake, and that time, an interesting thing happened: I was busy all morning, and finally I could have a long-awaited cake! You see, the cake is big and round, with pure white cream on it and all kinds of cream-colored flowers on it. It seems to be smiling at me, so cute! The cake also says "Happy Birthday" with red jam. Cake really makes my mouth water by candlelight! I can't wait to eat.
Finally, I understand. I have a big cake in my hand. I took a big bite, ah, delicious! My sister suddenly laughed, which puzzled me. I put a cream on my nose when I looked in the mirror, like a clown! I couldn't help laughing myself. My sister doesn't like cream. She is thinking about what to do. Suddenly, when she saw the cream on my nose, her eyes lit up and she smiled and said, "Sister, come here!" " I strode past without thinking. My sister asked me to sit down, but she brought me a plate of my favorite cream. I thought she was going to give it to me, so I quickly spoke. "Pa", a cool thing stuck to my forehead, followed by my face and chin. I knew it was cream, so I stuck out my tongue to lick it, but I heard a burst of laughter. Look in the mirror, ha! A Xiaohua Mall appears in the mirror! A full face of cream, one east and one west. My face is painted like a Peking Opera mask by this "advanced" cosmetic. No, the color of Peking Opera facial makeup is not that single. Pure white cream looks like Xiaohua Mall's hair in the mirror. Why not lick the cream like a greedy cat? I laughed, too, out of breath. I suddenly became a greedy Xiaohua Mall!
Teacher zw.Liuxue86.com commented:
The article is full of the happiness and excitement of the little author's birthday, full of innocence and childlike interest. The full text is described by a series of actions, presenting a "Xiaohua Mall" for readers, which is very lively. Sincere feelings, not bad.
Childhood fun childhood is like a kaleidoscope, colorful; Childhood is like a boat, carrying laughter and tears; Childhood is like a song, singing the bits and pieces of life; Childhood is more like a pot of colorful dishes, bittersweet and salty, with endless aftertaste.
On my birthday night, I invited some friends to my house for my birthday. My parents and I are rushing to decorate the birthday party at home. Soon, several friends came to my house one after another and hugged me as soon as they entered the door. I will just play with them for a while.
Dad went out to bring cakes, and the birthday party officially started. I am the host of this birthday party. Because the cake my father bought was a three-layer cake, we decided to have a "cake war" with two-layer cakes. There are 6 people in our group, divided into two groups, each with 3 people. I am the first, the other is the second ... and so on. The "cake war" officially began. "No.2 and No.3, you guard this side to prevent the invasion of No.4 and No.5. I'll grab the cake! " I shouted. Then I went to grab the cake. On the other hand, No.6 also scrambled for the cake. I grabbed a cake first and threw it at number six. No.6 was caught off guard by me. I picked up the cake and retreated quickly. Six also robbed the cake. He picked it up like me and threw it away. I jumped nimbly and escaped his attack. I withdrew my position. No.3 and No.4 quickly picked up the cake and threw it at their opponents. The opponent saw us throw it over and picked up the cake to fight back. In this way, we fought here until our mother told us to stop, and the "cake fight" didn't stop. At this time, we look at me and I look at you, and everyone becomes a Xiaohua Mall covered in cream.
Finally, I sent my friend away and the birthday party came to an end. However, I was punished by my father to clean the "battlefield" of the "cake war". But tonight, I am very happy.
Childhood is a time full of infinite joy.
Teacher zw.Liuxue86.com commented:
This is an article describing childhood fun, revealing the happiness of childhood between the lines. Metaphor sentence "childhood is like a kaleidoscope, colorful;" Childhood is like a boat, carrying laughter and tears, vividly writing the beauty of childhood. The full-text language is fluent, natural and vivid, which is a good exercise.
Pattern shampoo "mom, mom, turn me into a cute little white rabbit."
"Is it like a white rabbit?"
"Ha ha, it's so similar, it's really interesting!" This home is full of laughter and joy of our whole family. Do you want to know what this is about? Then listen to me slowly!
Growing up, I hated washing my hair the most. I cry every time I wash my hair. But one morning, my mother mysteriously said to me, "Baby, shall we have a pattern shampoo today?"
I stare big eyes and look puzzled: I have only heard of synchronized swimming and figure skating, but I have never heard of synchronized shampoo. So I became curious and asked my mother, "What is pattern shampoo?"
"Don't you just try?"
I walked into the bathroom in fear and trembling and stood on the small bench. Mom opened the bottle cap of shampoo, and white shampoo was deposited in my head like the cream I usually eat. Later, my mother sprinkled some water on my little head and wiped my hair with shampoo. Suddenly, there is a small white snowball on my big head, like a crystal clear snowman. I put my hand over my mouth and giggled.
My mother asked me, "What animals do you usually like?"
I thought about it and replied, "I like the white rabbit."
As soon as my voice fell, my mother turned me into a lively little white rabbit with her dexterous hands. I'm so excited. I want my mother to exchange this one with the one next to my mother. My mother is like a magician. The foam on my head is in her hand, and all kinds of shapes are changing. Sometimes like a majestic polar bear, sometimes like a Xiaohua Mall with sharp ears, sometimes like an onion with bright red inside.
This is, naughty father drew white bubbles on my eyebrows, nose and chin. Look, I look like a naive Santa Claus. Dad picked up the camera and only heard a "click" and recorded this wonderful moment. I like patterned shampoo, which can expand my imagination. Now I'm not afraid to wash my hair anymore.
Teacher zw.Liuxue86.com commented:
The topic of "pattern shampoo" is well drawn up, and readers read it with the question of "what is pattern shampoo", which is very attractive. In the narrative, the process of "fancy shampoo" is vividly written through wonderful language description and delicate action description. Mother's cleverness, father's naughty, and the happiness of "I" in the text are full of life breath. This is a good exercise, the content is true and humorous.
The dreamy childhood is gone. My charming childhood turned into a cloud, floating in the sky of memory ... in the floating sky, I found my childhood. It was a naughty elf, a colorful dream ... a colorful childhood dream, which made me attached to it many times and gave birth to warm yearning. Roll a childhood flute to your mouth and play an ancient ballad, and the lost time will be revived in your memory. ...
How charming the soil and music of childhood are! Lost confidence is full of hope-knowing that this hope is so slim, but it is so bright ... Isn't a transparent voice a symbol of holiness? Sing a nice song from the heart! Fading out is yesterday's song. ...
Childhood is not a gray hair, and life changes relentlessly. It is no wonder that the opening words of Luo Guanzhong's Romance of the Three Kingdoms are sung like this: "The Yangtze River is rolling eastward, and the waves are scouring the heroes. Success or failure has turned empty, the green hills are still there, and the sunset is a few degrees red. The white-haired hermit by the river has long been used to the changes of time. A pot of turbid wine is happy to meet, and how many things have been paid in ancient and modern times. "
Dreams are short-lived, but the reality remains the same. The story of childhood is vague, a naive misty poem ... The dream of childhood has faded, and I no longer want to be an elf with wings, and I no longer want to write a diary like a running account. Instead, it is a dense and vague handwriting. In deep blue tears, there are unknown words.
Full of fantasy, full of self-confidence, full of the breath given to her by this era, dreaming that she can make everything colorful, dreaming that she can return to her childhood and enjoy all the beauty. Is this me? A girl who always dreams?
Don't! This is not a complete me. Now, I always feel deeply about life and always say to myself: "Life is like taking part in accidental amusement. How many people dare to really face themselves? How many people can go back to their childhood? "
In the face of the passage of time, I always want to keep it, but there is nothing I can do. Time, naughty spirit, is always fleeting. When you find something beautiful, you can only have it if you grasp it in time, treat it well and cherish it!
Teacher zw.Liuxue86.com commented:
This article describes the author's nostalgia for childhood. The language of the full text is beautiful, using rhetorical devices such as metaphor, vivid and sincere. For example, "roll a childhood flute to your mouth and play an old ballad, and the lost time will be revived in your memory."
Fantastic childhood childhood dreams are like colorful flowers in the sky, and childhood years are like sweet songs in my heart.
Time flies, the sun and the moon fly. Gradually, I grew up and my childhood passed away quietly.
Now I can dress up. Whenever I see those daily necessities such as hand cream and moisturizing lotion, I can't help but think of that interesting childhood story that impressed me deeply.
When I was four years old, my mother took me to my sister's house to play. Mother and sister talked enthusiastically. I was bored alone, so I went straight to my sister's room to play.
I picked up a bottle on my sister's desk. It is written in English, and I can't understand it. But I saw my sister washing her face with a pink bottle. The bottle was transparent. The neighbor's sister washes her hair in a blue bottle, which is also transparent. "By the way, this thing can wash your face and wash your hair!" I took this thing to the bathroom, took a basin of water, squeezed a little from the bottle and put it on my face. Rubbing, I suddenly felt the skin on my face wrinkled, and it was even tighter. I tried to open my mouth, and my skin was so tight that it was difficult to open my mouth.
I think this may be a normal reaction, nothing. So, I washed my hair again, washed and washed, and my hair stuck. I dug my face and dropped something the same color as my skin. I was so frightened that I rushed out of the bathroom and shouted, "The shampoo is overdue, and my face is going to get pimples." My mother heard the news and asked me, "What's wrong with you? What's wrong? " I held up the bottle and said, "I put it on, my hair is stuck, and the skin on my face is coming off." My mother and sister looked at me in a panic and took a look at the bottle. They all laughed in unison. I, like Friar Zhang Er, was puzzled and shouted, "What are you laughing at? What is this? " "It's a mask." Say that finish, they laughed again!
Childhood is so carefree and innocent, and childhood is so colorful and picturesque.
Teacher zw.Liuxue86.com commented:
This is an article about the sixth grade pupils expressing their childhood wishes. The idea is simple and intriguing, with distinct levels. The use of parallelism strengthens the language momentum, rich imagination, light and affectionate pen, full of the author's love and expectation for childhood.
It's too late to say sorry to you. Childhood life should be colorful, happy and full. But my childhood, now that I think about it, is really full of guilt.
When I was three years old, my parents moved to this neighborhood. One day, I was alone at home, and a little girl on the fourth floor came down to play with me, which also made me know more friends. From then on, we became best friends, inseparable. Just when we got along best, a sudden disaster completely changed my character-my favorite grandfather passed away! She became irritable and often quarreled with her, but after the quarrel, she came to me as if nothing had happened. I ignored her, but she still regarded me as her best friend.
This day, she came to see me again. I pushed the child away impatiently. She said, "Let's go to the stadium!" "I said," I don't want to go, go by yourself! " "She pushed open the door and came in. She said, "There's no one at home. You are bored at home alone. Why don't you come with me! " I shouted, "I don't want to go, I just don't want to go." Why do you say so much? " She was surprised and said anxiously, "Don't be unhappy because grandpa died. Come with me. " When I heard grandpa, I froze, grandpa! I pushed her angrily, growling like a crazy calf, "Don't mention my grandfather's death in front of me!" " "She fell to the ground and hit her head on the door. I pulled her clothes, dragged her out of the door and slammed the door.
Later, she never came to see me, and my heart was empty. It was not until she moved to Henggang that I learned from another friend that after I kicked her out of the house, she endured the pain and didn't tell her mother about it. Before moving, she thought of coming to say goodbye to me, but she didn't come for fear that I would be unhappy. After I heard it, two big tears fell to the ground, and I cried in bed ... If I had the chance, I would definitely apologize to you, but now, it's too late.
Teacher zw.Liuxue86.com commented:
The author of this article told us that he didn't want to go out to play with his good friend because of his grandfather's death when he was a child, and shouted at her, expressing his deep guilt for his good friend. But the author's description of his "anger" and his good friend's "sadness and disappointment" is not in place, and the contradiction between them is not highlighted. I hope the author will pay more attention.
Childhood fun-fried eggs childhood memories I think are very beautiful. Because childhood is colorful and shining with beautiful light, it is worth pondering and remembering. The following is an interesting story about my longing for a beautiful childhood:
At noon on a hot summer day, I am worrying about what to eat at noon. Hungry, I had the idea of cooking for the first time-frying poached eggs.
At first, I was not sensible. I moved the heavy pot to the stove and turned on the gas. I was frightened when I saw the pot banging. I was startled, as if there were strong bandits coming and knocking at the door loudly. Later, knowing that I needed to pour some oil, I quickly added some oil to the pot. Then, I took out an egg from the refrigerator and knocked it two or three times. Bang, the eggshell cracked, and the protein spilled on me and sprayed on me. "ah! Good that! " I trembled and screamed. When I say "that", I mean protein is soft and slippery, which is disgusting. So, I wiped it carefully for fear that it would flow down again. The egg white came at me, but the yolk soon flowed down. I continue to make my eggs. Well, the opposite is finally mature. I gently picked up the spatula and turned it over. Don't! I split the poached egg in half. I was surprised, shocked and scared. However, it suddenly occurred to me that there is another way to cook eggs: stir-fry. So I divided my split egg into 10 and 20 pieces ... anyway, there are many small pieces. I excitedly learned my mother's familiar cooking posture-cooking, cooking, "bang, bang", and the sound of eggs in the pot danced with me. All right! Delicious scrambled eggs begin! I smiled and poured delicious soy sauce, and then happily ate my first egg.
This time, I not only cooked for the first time, but also gained a lot. This cooking has become my beautiful memory.
Childhood is so beautiful. This is a colorful memory box. When I open it, I can see the wonderful time of my childhood. This is just one of the interesting things. I still have a lot to remember when I was a child. I have always believed that childhood memories are beautiful.
Teacher zw.Liuxue86.com commented:
The article has a reasonable layout, starting with a topic, then describing the process of frying poached eggs with "I", which is clear and clear, and finally summarized, echoing the center from beginning to end, and the language is fluent and natural, describing the process of frying poached eggs vividly and concretely, which is very good.
In my opinion, it is particularly funny to think back to last year's Spring Festival. The loss is actually that I made an ugly dress online, and I can only fold it in half in the end. The result is-just look at the bottom.
It is said that once, my sister just returned to Yuhuan from Hangzhou and began to play those clothes games: "Fashion City" and "QQ Clothing Store". Especially the clothes in the clothing store are very strange, and there are many people who buy them, all of whom are her friendly classmates. Well, when relatives came and my sister went to pick them up, they rushed to the "golden throne" and played my sister's game with relish. My sister's clothing store happens to be 10, so you can make clothes where you make clothes. Haha, God help me too! Find the clothing workshop, divide three times five by two, and you're done! Seeing this dress, I thought: Are you happy now, haha. Bad things are coming!
This dress has just been made, and relatives have come up. I immediately left my seat and found my sister-in-law watching the game on the computer screen and asked, "What are you playing?" I dare not say, but I managed to squeeze out a few words: "I am playing my sister's game." Although I had a pleasant day, I was very nervous and just wanted to sweat halfway.
It is said that everything has a result, otherwise who is responsible for the consequences. After three days, the elder sister talked about it helplessly: the clothes were ugly and no one bought them, so she had to deal with them in half. Unexpectedly, I can't handle it. I lost tens of thousands of gold coins ... I could have bought more clothes ... I almost laughed when I heard this. Who told you to give me those things every day and call me dead! Don't think I was born for nothing, are you kidding! Look at yourselves ... as a result, the mood that almost laughed suddenly "sloped" and it was full of flowering saliva. ...
I want to laugh at the thought of it. Because few people actually do this kind of thing, it is a happy thing to taste delicious food while stealing food. Everyone laughed. So, Fiona Fang, what do you think?
Teacher zw.Liuxue86.com commented:
This narrative tells an interesting story about "I" playing games with my sister. The language of the article is fluent and the structure is complete, but the language is too dull, the words are not standardized, the narrative is not detailed enough, the language description is not delicate enough, and the expression lacks literary talent.
Whenever I hear the sheep barking in my grandmother's backyard, I can't help laughing secretly.
When I was ten years old, I went to my grandmother's house to play. I saw a ewe grazing on the grass tied by a rope by the river, and some lovely lambs were drinking milk under the ewe. It doesn't itch anymore. I really want to catch one to play with. Thinking of this, I went over. When I walked beside the ewe, she became wary. She stared at me with her head held high, as if to say, "Don't come here, or I'll raise you." I was taken aback and walked away I went around the back of the ewe, ready to "attack" from behind, but as soon as the lamb saw me, it hurriedly ran away. I ran to the left, the lamb ran to the right, I went to the right, and it slipped to the left.
I leaned against the tree, panting. I can't storm, but I must outsmart. I found a bamboo pole, hung a green vegetable on one side of the bamboo pole and put it in front of the ewe. When I saw "delicious", the ewe couldn't wait to stretch her neck. I slowly pulled the bamboo pole back, and it followed, and the lamb followed. When the lamb approached me, I immediately threw down my bamboo pole and rushed at the lamb, but the ewe seemed to see through my strategy and quickly stood in front of me. It seems to be angry, scratching the ground with its feet desperately, and constantly "baa baa", with the corner of its head aimed at me. I couldn't help being afraid and took a step back.
Suddenly, an idea flashed through my mind and I went over again. The ewe stared at me closely, and she followed me when I went. I went around the stake several times, and it turned several times, and the rope was all around the stake. "Go!" The ewe and I jumped at the lamb at the same time. I succeeded, but the ewe was trapped. I hugged a lamb and happily held it in front of the ewe and said, "No matter how cunning an animal is, it can't compare with human beings." "Baa ..." The ewe wailed miserably and tried to jump at it several times, but it always failed.
I walked back with my "trophy" I accidentally tripped over a brick under my feet and fell to the ground. The lamb ran away quickly. When I got up, I found that I was covered in mud. I was in tears. "baa baa" ewe seems to be laughing at me. ...
Now that I see the lamb, I remember that interesting thing in my childhood.
Teacher zw.Liuxue86.com commented:
The language is dull, indescribable and inaccurate.
Childhood fun "Under the banyan tree by the pond, cicadas are calling for summer ..." Every time I hear this song, I think: What a wonderful childhood! Open the floodgate of memory, and I will look for childhood memories!
When I was a child, I was not sensible. Not much. Every time I see a lot of money in the hands of adults, I am extremely excited. I only see greedy people. ) So, I had a lot of knowledge about money when I was a child. "The red one is a hundred-dollar bill, the blue one is ten yuan, the purple one is fifteen yuan, and the gold one is twenty yuan ..." I began to recite my "Qian Qian formula". "Go out and play!" I thought about it in my head and ran away. Suddenly, my eyes were fascinated by something. "oh! That shop ... the bag is full of' money'! " So, I rushed there majestically and vigorously. "Boss, boss, how much is this board' money'?" "Kid, which one do you like? These are only one yuan! " "This, this!" I had a dollar in my pocket then. I have so much money! "I shouted as I counted the money." Wow! And my favorite patterns of pleasant goat and lazy goat! Hee hee! Go home quickly! "When I got home, I shouted," Mom! Mom! Come on! I have 300 yuan! Come on, I'll give you 50 yuan! "When my mother heard my voice, she felt something was wrong and rushed to me." Jia Gang, what's that in your hand? "My mother gasped and said to me." Money! Look, this is Qian Qian Pleasant Goat! This is "Qian Qian the Lazy Sheep"! "Ha ha! Silly boy! This is not real money! Chairman Mao is printed on the money! " I nodded inexplicably and then burst into tears. I am sad.
Finally, close the door of memory. Was I stupid when I was a child? Childhood is sweet! I still long not to grow up! Still want to stay in a beautiful childhood! Ah! You are so beautiful! Childhood!
Teacher zw.Liuxue86.com commented:
Dull language