Many scholars have mentioned that the personality condition of psychological counselors is the most important factor to do a good job in psychological counseling, and it is also the first condition that psychological counselors should have. The personality of psychological counselor is the pillar of psychological counseling and the most critical factor in the counseling relationship. If a counselor doesn't have the personality conditions to help others, his knowledge and skills can't play an effective role and may be harmful.
Only when psychological counselors have extensive theoretical knowledge and consulting skills, but lack the character of sympathy and care for others, can they not be honest with others, can they not win trust and lack sensitivity to interpersonal relationships, can they become skilled craftsmen.
The so-called personality refers to a person's whole mental outlook, which is the sum of some tendentious and stable psychological characteristics, including temperament, personality, interests, beliefs, abilities and so on.
Psychological counselors should have the following personality conditions:
1. Relative mental health
A counselor's health level is at least higher than his client's. Psychological counselors themselves are human beings, and they have many desires, such as wanting to be loved, accepted, recognized, affirmed and felt safe. But he has the ability to satisfy these desires outside the consulting relationship, so as to ensure that he can effectively complete the task of the social role of psychological counselor without causing role tension.
A psychological counselor also lives in the same social environment as most of his visitors, and there will be all kinds of life problems and psychological conflicts, but he can maintain a relative psychological balance and solve his psychological conflicts outside the consulting relationship, so as not to interfere with the consulting work because of personal problems.
A qualified psychological counselor should be a happy person who loves life and has good adaptability. Those who are emotionally unstable, often in a state of psychological conflict and unable to balance themselves are difficult to be competent for psychological counseling.
be ready to help others
Only helpful people can give warmth to the clients, create a safe and free atmosphere, accept all kinds of positive and negative emotions of the clients and enter their inner world.
The condition of "being helpful" is easy to say, but not everyone has this quality. A surgeon, despite his superb surgical skills, can cure patients' surgical diseases. But he is not necessarily willing to help his patients psychologically. Those who only care about their own affairs, those who are withdrawn, taciturn and lack enthusiasm, are also difficult to be competent for psychological counseling.
3. Strong sense of responsibility
Listen to the client patiently, concentrate and don't be distracted. Let customers feel concerned about their difficulties. It is worthy of their trust to be able to talk sincerely and frankly with customers and make them willing to reveal their inner privacy and secrets. Those who are sloppy and can't concentrate on their work, those who are procrastinating, irresponsible and can't talk to their clients can't do psychological counseling well.
These personality conditions are formed on the basis of congenital quality and long-term influence of environment, and they are relatively stable psychological characteristics, which can not be obtained only by learning theoretical knowledge. Therefore, people engaged in psychological counseling should consider their own personality conditions if they want to be competent for this job.
Second, the basis of knowledge conditions
Do psychological counseling with necessary theoretical knowledge. Psychological counseling does not rely on good wishes, enthusiasm and common sense to comfort and persuade clients in trouble or encourage psychological patients to fight against diseases. Sometimes, cheap comfort will cause customers' incomprehension, disgust and resistance.
Psychological counseling and psychotherapy are scientific work, so we should help the clients with the scientific knowledge of helping others, let them know the real reason that bothers them, correct or give up the unsuitable behavior, and make them psychologically mature.
Psychological counselors must have basic theoretical knowledge such as general psychology, child psychology, personality psychology, social psychology, mental hygiene, abnormal psychology, psychometrics and clinical psychology. , and master psychological help skills, family therapy, behavior correction methods, music therapy, cognitive therapy and other counseling and treatment methods and skills.
Only by combining theoretical knowledge with practical ability can we understand how the customer's difficulties are formed? Where are the roots of contradictions and conflicts? What is the real meaning of their psychological symptoms? What defensive measures are used to deal with inner conflicts? Then talk about assisting the parties to analyze problems, guiding them out of difficulties and promoting their personality growth.
Third, the skill conditions
Psychological counselors should be good at helping others. Including how to know the relevant information of the parties in the shortest time, such as the situation or events that confuse them, the time when symptoms appear and their development and changes. How to ask questions promptly and tactfully? How to find the unconscious cover-up and resistance of the parties? How to guide them to gradually understand the crux of their own hearts; How to design some corresponding methods to correct some bad behaviors, especially for neurotic children; How to explain something to customers in time, what to explain, and so on.
The theoretical knowledge and skills of psychological counseling can be learned. In addition to learning from books, it is more important to learn from customers and sum up experience in practical work.