Although it is only a joke, it is undeniable that women in these families will not feel happy. The status quo of most families is: the father is not around, the mother is hard and anxious, and the children have problems.
The couple came back from the outside, with their mother holding the quilt and their father playing with their mobile phones. When the son saw them coming back to pick him up, he called his father "uncle", but his father didn't respond when playing with his mobile phone. When he reacted, he yelled at the child: "What uncle! Call dad! "
The son replied, "My mother asked me to call you uncle!" " "Dad came in and asked his wife," Did you tell the children not to call me dad? "
The wife said angrily, "Dad? He has no father! From the first day he was born, I was a single mother! "
The wife recalled that from the birth of the child, whether it was feeding the child in the middle of the night or helping the child with his homework, he was doing it himself, either sleeping by himself or playing with his mobile phone attentively.
When educating children, he didn't come to discipline them, but continued to play with mobile phones, and even blamed her for not teaching children and told her not to disturb him to play with mobile phones.
"Don't do housework, children no matter, holding a mobile phone every day, what do I want you to do? You can live on your mobile phone! " The wife finally broke out. "You are eight hours a day, I am 24 hours a day. Am I tired? " Since childhood, children have never been fed once, changed diapers once and taught homework once. Have you done your duty as a father all day? "
"The most embarrassing thing for women is that in recent years, they have been taking care of their children day and night, with no income, no friends, and they are not understood!" The wife choked as she spoke. "In the eyes of children, I am a grumpy mother; In my husband's eyes, I am deep well ice; The most ridiculous thing is that my mother-in-law thought I was enjoying happiness! "
"Children are born together. If it wasn't born in my stomach, you wouldn't have to do anything. Is it because I am a woman? " This remark left her husband speechless.
Finally, my wife buried her face in tears and told us something, which showed us the real "widowed parenting".
"The son is not the godfather's fault", and the father's company has a great influence on the child. It will not only affect children's personality, but also affect their study and work.
When children are brought up by their fathers, boys will be braver and stronger, and girls will be more confident and cheerful.
Widowed parenting affects not only children, but also family harmony. The influence of family environment on children is also extremely important.
Why do so many families have widowed children now? The most fundamental reason is that as soon as the child is born, the wife feels that she has become a mother, while the husband has no consciousness of being a father at all.
The later the father wakes up and assumes the responsibility of the father, the slower the pace of establishing intimate relationship between him and his children. If the father waits until a few years after the birth of the child to develop a father-son relationship with the child, then he has left the family to a certain extent and has a great distance from his wife and children.
And this sense of distance will not only make the feelings between him and his children cold, but also make the feelings between him and his wife cold. The wife's world has been filled with children, and he can no longer be a part of this world.
What should we do if we want to change this situation? The secret is that the husband should catch up with the change of his wife's identity as soon as possible, enter the role of being a father as soon as possible and assume the responsibility of being a father.
The critical period of this identity change is in the first year after the child is born.
1. If you are planning to have children, your wife and husband should form a "parent team" in advance, and don't "kick" your husband out of the team to raise children.
Mothers generally begin to understand parenting knowledge before their children are born. After the child is born, the wife is like an "expert" and the husband is still a "layman". When a wife sees her husband's "substandard" care behavior, she can't help but accuse and order her husband, and then take over the task of taking care of the children herself.
If you see that your husband is not doing well, you can give him gentle advice. Blame will only make him less confident and less willing to take part in the task of raising children.
Give your husband some time to take care of the children alone.
This is not only to let the husband take care of the children independently, but also to give the wife some rest time. If someone can help take care of the children for a certain period of time, husband and wife should use this time to get along alone and maintain emotional ties. There is more than one child between you.
As the "single mother" said, the child is the crystallization of husband and wife, and it is not only the mother's responsibility to come out of the mother's belly.
There is a saying that deeply touched me: "Dad, I will grow up without you!"
How many childhoods can a child have? If you, as a father, miss your child's childhood, you will find that the child is married and someone will take care of her instead of you. Or married and have a small family of their own.
At this time, you know how much your heart hurts, but time can't go back. So, no matter how busy you are at work, please take some time to spend with your children!