I remember when I was very young, I liked airplane models very much, but my parents thought it was for boys to play, so they wouldn't buy it for me anyway. This is my first time to do it. I cried at home for an hour, but I refused everything my parents gave me. I collapsed. If I come to hug me and comfort me, I will subconsciously push them away.
Later, my parents compromised and bought me a model plane.
From then on, I found this method very effective, so whenever I have a need and they don't satisfy me, I will do it, because after I finish it, I can get what I want.
To put it simply, when you can't meet your own needs, you habitually use "Left" to make the opposite direction compromise to meet your own needs.
This led to the perfect reappearance of my childhood love behavior. I still remember one time, I went shopping with my lover, and I wanted to eat ice cream, but he wouldn't let me eat it. He also said it was cold, bad for health, and so on, so I didn't like it, so I did it. I stood there motionless, meaning that you wouldn't let me eat, so I kept standing.
Of course, I finally left happily with ice cream.
I didn't correct my mistake until I was engaged in emotional counseling, because no one will tolerate you unconditionally like my parents. Adult love is conditional, and blindly doing it will really alienate intimacy.
"Work" is the embodiment of a dependent mechanism. Any kind of intimate relationship will last for a long time because of mutual dependence.
In the relationship between the relying party and the dependent party, there will be a relationship between "master" and "guest". The party attached is the guest, and the way of attachment is "the Lord". When one side reduces its dependence, the other side will increase its dependence, thus maintaining the overall balance. In other words, your dependence on this person will increase, and the other person's dependence on you will gradually decrease.
Simply put, if one party relies too much on the other, it will focus all its attention on this person, thinking about being with the other party all the time, sending messages, and the other party must reply every second, and so on.
Once you lose contact or don't reply to the information, the relying party will have anxiety. From a psychological point of view, the stronger the sense of dependence, the heavier the sense of anxiety, so "doing" becomes an inevitable move.
For example, if you don't reply to the other party's message, the "working" party will say, "Why don't you reply to my message?" "What are you busy with? You don't even have time to reply to the message? " ......
Even if the relying party doesn't reply to the information, the relying party will bomb the other party until it gets a response.