I have carefully read your question and other people's answers, and I think there is some truth. You might as well learn from some people.
I have no illusion that I can really solve your confusion, but I still want to tell you that maybe one thing is related to the disease!
I also want to say don't fantasize that others can help you solve your problems. Your own problems, especially your ideological confusion, can only be understood and solved by yourself, but other people's opinions and suggestions can at least help us solve our own problems better.
I have a lot in common with you: I am a little introverted and emotional, and I hate evil. And I have a strong self-esteem, a bad temper, and I am impulsive. Sometimes I do things without considering the consequences. In a sense, I am still selfish and lazy, and I seem to want to do nothing. I believe that you are much better than me in shortcomings and in doing things.
People really can't live in a daze, and that's what a person who doesn't want to pursue mediocrity thinks. But how many people are confused, ordinary and simple. Sometimes I think it's not a good thing to think too much. Emotion is doomed to be sentimental, sensitive and unhappy. But I can't do it, and I don't think you can either.
You and I are not people without ideals and goals, but we have too many ideals and goals. Big or even divorced from reality. So there is bound to be a gap between ideal and reality, and the gap between us is bound to be even bigger, which is too big for us to bear. If you think that your ideal is hopeless, you will inevitably be disappointed or even desperate. So, I lost myself and fell into confusion and helplessness. That's what I do. I feel that I have no ideal and no pursuit. I feel I can't find hope. I feel very confused and ask others for help online, but you know what you expect from others' answers, and you know how helpful others' answers are to us.
I believe you must be an idealized person, but you are also a very realistic person. I don't know, do I? Anyway, I can understand your question and appreciate you. I must have not lost myself mentally, and I must have thought about it. No matter what our result is, I have thought about it after all, right, hehe ~ ~
Let me introduce myself to you. I am also a college student, maybe two years younger than you. I majored in automobile maintenance. I graduated for half a year. I used to work in a large enterprise, and all kinds of treatment were more acceptable. But I'm still unwilling and unhappy to work there. Finally left, and left before I found a job. Finally, I came to Shijiazhuang after several twists and turns, and now I stay here and do nothing. I'm sure you can understand this feeling. Although I studied automobile maintenance, I didn't like it or even despised it. So I am also confused and disappointed. It seems that I don't want to do anything now, but some dare not do it, which makes me feel inferior and have no confidence. But I know you know that quitting smoking is impossible. But what should I do?
I say this to say that before you make a decision, you should think carefully, don't be emotional and don't be impulsive. I'm sure you won't do that to me. I am impulsive, knowing that I don't work, my parents will definitely worry about what I will do if I don't work. Today's society is cruel. So some things can only be done if they are considered feasible. A very good old superior of mine told me to ride a horse to find a horse, but unfortunately I didn't listen.
I mean, why don't you continue your present job, no matter how difficult and annoying it is, will you stick to it? Sometimes work is a means of making a living. But if you really have something you want to do and think it has a future, and you firmly believe that you can do it well, then you can do it well, and I believe you will succeed! But I think you don't have some immature and vague ideas at least now, and you may not have the confidence and courage to persevere. Otherwise, you wouldn't waste your time on it. You are different from me. What you are facing is the problem of life, and what I am facing now is the problem of survival. This is a different concept! The only goal of survival is to live, do everything and do nothing. You should be grateful, because at least now you have no pressure to survive. So I suggest you ride a horse to find a horse, stick to it and do your job well. Can you do it?
I may be a pessimistic person. What is the meaning of life? What do people live for? I even think life is meaningless, but who wants to go back and do it and who wants to die? Since I was born, I can only face the rest. These words are even more useless to you. Don't blame me for scaring you. But really, if a person has no ideal and no pursuit, what is the practical significance?
You and I are just temporarily confused and confused. I believe that you and I will find our own ideals and goals. As long as we work hard, we will succeed! ! But I want to say that goals and ideals can only be found by yourself! Believe in yourself and face the reality frankly! !
That's what I'm talking about. I hope it will help you a little. In fact, I am more confused than you ~ ~ Hehe, I hope you can let me get out of the predicament as soon as possible and face life bravely! !