Psychologist Ross once did an experiment to study the projection effect. He asked 80 college students if they would like to walk around the campus with a big sign on their backs. Results 48 college students thought that most students would like to take this sign around campus, so they agreed. The remaining 32 college students said that no one wanted to do this, so they refused.
It can be seen that no matter what choice they make, students think that others' attitudes are the same as their own, and they will project their attitudes on other students.
When other people's behavior is different from their own, people will habitually use their own standards to measure other people's behavior and think that other people's behavior is unreasonable. For example, a person who likes to be jealous will think that other people's motives start with jealousy. If others have a little disrespect for him, he will think that others are jealous of themselves.
Projection effects are everywhere. In daily life, people can't help attributing their personality, likes and dislikes, desires, thoughts and emotions to others, and making judgments on others according to their own preferences. For example, a person who likes to lie often suspects that others are lying to him; A person who feels good about himself thinks that others think he is excellent. ......
Because of the projection effect, we use it in online chat. First of all, analyze the person you want to chat with, and infer the true intention or psychological characteristics of this person through his clothes, circle of friends, exhibition content and views on others. Produce * * * sound, * * * feelings to reach the point of wandering.
Generally speaking, there are two forms of projection effect:
1. Emotional projection
Think that the other person has the same likes and dislikes as himself, put the characteristics of others into his own established framework, and identify with the other person's way of thinking with his own understanding. For example, if you like something, talk to him endlessly about the same topic, so that you can start a conversation.
2. Lack of objectivity in cognition
Many people will like people or things they like more and more, but they will hate people or things they don't like more and more. This is also the projection effect. Because of this psychology, people will unconsciously praise and flatter the people or things they like, and criticize or even slander the people or things they hate. This kind of cognition lacks objectivity. In interpersonal communication, people will fall into the quagmire of prejudice because of their own subjective assumptions.
In the relationship between men and women, projection effect often appears. For example, the prevalence of online dating is actually a projection effect.
—— Case analysis—
Miss Li, who just graduated from college, has recently fallen in love. She was extremely depressed, so she went online to find someone to vent her inner anguish. She soon met a "young talent" who claimed to start a company. Miss Li knows that there are many online scammers, so she pays special attention to all aspects of each other's information.
Miss Li found that the other party was from the same town and went to college in the same city, so she made out a lot. By looking at photos and chatting, Miss Li found that the other party not only looks extraordinary, but also talks elegantly, and is a typical Korean drama hero.
After chatting for many days, the more you talk, the happier you are. On this day, the other party said that Miss Li's family was looking for a place to drink. Miss Li didn't care at first, thinking that the other party was just talking, so she watched Korean dramas.
In Korean dramas, the hero suddenly appeared at the heroine's door, and the two sides embraced and cried. When Miss Li was sighing, the mobile phone rang and the other party said that she had arrived at Miss Li's house.
Miss Li was so surprised that she never expected the scenes in Korean dramas to be staged in her real life.
At first glance, Miss Li saw that the other person was a man of about 30 years old, with a height of 1.8 meters and a handsome appearance. Miss Li is very tempted. She felt that she had become the heroine and happily found a bar nearby to chat and drink with her partner.
The other party talked a lot about their own business experience, and Miss Li accepted all of them, thinking that this "golden man" must be caught.
Miss Li, who was relieved, was happy for a while and drank a lot of wine. Coming out of the bar, the other party stopped a taxi, and Miss Li got on the bus with him in a daze. The other party asked the taxi to drive to the door of a hotel, stopped and helped Miss Li out of the car.
Although Miss Li was a little surprised, she acquiesced. After they entered the room, they chatted for a while. Miss Li drank too much and wanted to go to the toilet. However, when she came out of the toilet, she found that the man was gone, and the bag she put in the room was gone.
It turns out that the other party is a real thief.
Miss Li, who is infatuated with Korean dramas, was heartbroken by the projection effect. She believes that the other party and the protagonist of Korean drama have certain characteristics, and the background and conditions are the same, which is convinced.
Many times, our guesses about others are relatively correct, but "people's hearts are different, and things are different." After all, there are differences between people. Regardless of individual differences, random projection will be wrong. But we need to apply this effect to attract girls.
So you can have a romantic date with a girl according to the scene on TV series. As long as you don't express your love story, you can deepen your attraction.
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