I. Hope and disappointment
A Dai's book of relatives
A Dai, a 30-year-old young man, had many blind date experiences, but he was frustrated repeatedly. Some time ago, he tried to pursue a girl with 100%, but he still failed. When we first met, both sides felt good about each other. After more than a month of contact, the girl felt inappropriate and asked him not to look for her again. "Give up or persist" echoed in his mind. After several days of consideration, he decided to stick to it. He changed his habit of asking girls out only on weekends. During the week, he would spend two or three hours after work every afternoon to find the girl's place and talk to her about many topics every day. The girl's attitude is getting colder and colder. If you don't answer nine messages out of ten, she won't come out even if you ask her out to play. The last time A Dai went to the girl's house was on Christmas Eve. It was a cold and foggy day. A Dai bought a Christmas apple with great joy and wanted to give it to her, but the girl replied on WeChat: "You don't want to come today. I have made it very clear. "
Under the cold attitude of the other party, A Dai kept in touch for half a month, but ultimately failed to impress the other party and had to give up.
What is hope? During the time when A Dai was chasing girls, he kept his self-discipline beyond the usual level every day. He goes to work on time every day and works hard. He goes to find girls on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and reads and writes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, with a persistence rate of 100%. In the half month of the crisis, he never went to the Internet cafe again and didn't spend a night.
A Dai gave up and didn't look for her again. Life has returned to the dull state of the past. In the next two weeks, he went to the internet cafe after work on Friday, stayed up all night until the next day and went home at night. He doesn't study or write, but watches mobile phone videos and online novels to kill his spare time. Going to work in the morning because I stayed up too long, I had to ask for leave if I couldn't get up. I should have participated in various social and cultural activities on weekends, but in the end I turned into lying in bed at home playing with my mobile phone. Reason told him, "Be strong and work hard. Failure is the mother of success. " But the mood is full of disappointment. Action basically does not listen to rational command.
Second, rekindle the fighting spirit
Later, I experienced several things, which revived my inner vitality.
1. It's another sunny Saturday. A Dai went to the Touma Speech Club competition. On that day, both speakers talked about ideals and reality. The title of the speaker 1 is "Full of Ideal, Realistic Bone Feeling", and the title of the speaker 2 is "Ghost Dancer". Speaker No.2' s speech is even more touching, because his dream is concrete when he speaks-to pursue the improvement of dance skills. And he made a lot of practical efforts. In order to practice dancing, he bought a big mirror for a year. Every day, he practices dancing alone in the playground, participates in street dance competitions and dances for Shui Mu Nianhua Group, which is regarded as a fool. These details are vivid and concrete.
I felt the value of action from their speeches. Why did speaker No.2' s speech touch me so deeply, while 1 felt so mediocre? It's the details, the actions that have been practiced after thinking about the ideal, the actions that work hard day and night silently, and the actions that have no regrets even if they can't reach their dreams.
? When A Dai went to Chang 'an Club, she met a girl she met in Mu Xin Club last time. This girl is very beautiful. She talked with A Dai for a long time. A Dai is very happy to meet you again. The tables and chairs at the regular meeting of Chang 'an Club are a bit like high school classrooms. That day, A Dai sat in the last row and saw the girl coming. A Dai looked at her as if nothing had happened and said, "Hello." Because of the seats, the girls sat next to A Dai again. During the whole meeting, they chatted with each other. When there is no topic, he looks forward and watches the speech. The faint perfume on the girl constantly stimulates A Dai's sense of smell. When A Dai rustled on the paper, the girl leaned down and asked him what he was writing.
On Saturday night, A Dai's younger brother suddenly called him. Among his many relatives, his younger brother belongs to the kind of person with rich love experience.
Brother: "What are you doing?"
A Dai: "Reading in bed."
Brother: "What will you do tomorrow?"
A Dai: "I'm free tomorrow morning and evening, and I'm going out on a blind date at noon. Why, what's the matter? "
Brother: "I also told you to go skiing tomorrow." Why did you go on a blind date again? How did you know that girl last time? "
A Dai: "The conversation broke down, so we had to continue our blind date."
Brother: "What's the matter? Didn't you like that last time? "
A Dai: "Hey, that girl doesn't care much about me now. She won't answer my message. She didn't see me when she went to see her. She said that we are not suitable. "
Brother: "But you can't give up every time a girl ignores you. As you said last time, you have a crush on that girl. Do you really have a good impression after seeing so many blind date objects? "
A Dai: "I also know what you said. I don't want to blind date so many times and fall into the same pit every time! " ! But I'm really at my wit's end. I really don't know how to melt this hard ice with that girl's cold attitude. "
Brother: "You should talk more. Ask her out if you have nothing to do. Whether she goes or not, you should at least have an attitude. " . You can tell her what you usually do, whether she can come back to you or not. It's like our brothers talking. "
? A Dai: "But I really don't know how to say it. I usually chat with people, and others will give me feedback. So I can talk. But with this girl, she doesn't respond to me whatever I say, and there is no feedback in communication! "
Brother: "You and that girl are strangers after all. Think about how strangers talk. " . It's not like talking between our brothers. We grew up together and know everything, so it's easy to open our hearts and talk about everything. But strangers must talk more and communicate more, so as to break the barrier. When the relationship is ripe, the chat will naturally be smooth, but when the relationship is unfamiliar, you must endure discomfort and talk more. After a long time, it will be different if you get familiar with it. "
? Listening to you is better than studying for ten years. Encouraged by my younger brother, I rekindled my fighting spirit and wanted to stick to it for a while. In the predicament of life, I need such a lighthouse-like person. They need two characteristics to really help us.
? ? First: understand us. This has an inspiration for introverts, that is, to open themselves up and tell their stories to others. Introverts are always afraid of exposing themselves and being compared. But only when the shortcomings are exposed, can we get advice from others and be cured.
Second: Have a certain degree of professionalism in the problems to be solved.
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