Have you really cured your mental illness? Are you sure? Or do you just think it's okay? Be wary of psychological counseling? False recovery? I bring this phenomenon to you, hoping to help you.
First, what is the phenomenon of "false recycling"
The real recovery is a stable state after a long-term growth process, repairing internal injuries and constantly tempering in reality. After the internal personality reconstruction, the natural charm and taste are fragrant, and it is natural without too many words.
"Fake recovery" means that in the process of psychological counseling, it is often impossible to go on after one or several consultations, and sometimes after a long period of consultation. When there is internal resistance, sometimes there is serious "positive empathy".
This phenomenon is generally marked by the sudden disappearance and improvement of the symptoms of visitors. Visitors did not repair internal injuries and subconscious energy, and presented the illusion of "I am fine" in words and actions, "as if suddenly a different person". For example, the original state of pain and entanglement suddenly disappeared and became very sensible, optimistic and positive. For example, they are familiar with the handling of interpersonal relationships at once. This phenomenon is more manifested in front of consultants, sometimes in real life.
"Thank you very much. You are really a master of mind. You cured me in one consultation! "
"Your unique insights and opinions inspired me a lot, and I recovered immediately."
"I'm so lucky to meet you. I'm much better now. Everyone says I'm fine. "
"After several consultations, I don't have any problems now. On the whole, I feel very happy and energetic, but ... "
The phenomenon of false recovery is very common in consultation. If your vigilance is not high, the consultant can't have insight, and it is easy to have problems.
Second, analyze the potential causes of false recycling.
The phenomenon of false recovery is not a single problem, but a problem of relationship and empathy, in which both visitors and psychological counselors play corresponding roles.
1. Visitors meet the potential expectations of consultants.
Generally, the counseling orientation of quick and short-term treatment is easy to appear. Visitors are keenly aware of the consultant's expectation of the consulting effect, and meet the consultant's subconscious inner demand of "I hope the visitor will get better soon" to prove that the consultant is very powerful and effective. This method is very good, knowing that your problems have not been solved, pretending to cooperate with the psychological counselor's treatment plan, showing your due counseling effect, and presenting it to the psychological counselor in the form of false recovery.
2. Visitors can't leave the counselor, but leave through false recovery.
The ability of consultants is not enough to deal with the problems of visitors, which is related to the depth and level of their own growth. In particular, the counselors who have not studied psychoanalysis have not got enough self-growth and integration, which leads to the problems of empathy and anti-empathy in the consulting relationship not being dealt with and paid enough attention to. The relationship between the two sides is deadlocked, and the discussion on the issue cannot be continued or deepened. At the same time, visitors have formed psychological dependence on counselors, and feel that counseling is ineffective, and visitors cannot directly express their dissatisfaction and leave their own ideas. They have to satisfy the counselor through "fake recovery" and then use this excuse to leave the counseling.
3. Implicit echo between narcissism of visitors and counselors.
The consultant's own growth level will limit the consultation process and time. Psychological counselors' narcissism has always been a hurdle in psychological counseling. Psychological counselors who don't have the ability of self-awareness often portray themselves as omnipotent authoritative gods, thinking that they can do anything and any visitor can do it, as long as I wrap it up in my own unique way! Counselors can't stand setbacks and failures to cover up their inner incompetence and inferiority. They will wrap themselves up with stronger narcissism, protect themselves and maintain their authority and "rule". Therefore, when they encounter resistance and confusion in the consultation process, they will reverse the negative emotions and behaviors presented by the visitors, and will use some powerful methods, such as hypnosis, behavioral therapy and reality transformation, so that the visitors can not get enough companionship. Emotions and feelings can't really flow out. Some visitors will feel the anxiety and fear of the counselor and feel the narcissism of the counselor. In order to satisfy the narcissism of psychological counselors, they will intentionally or unintentionally release the information of "false recovery" to appease psychological counselors, meet the needs of these psychological counselors, and make psychological counselors happy, thus invisibly reaching a psychological counseling game: "Hello-I am good". You are a good counselor, and I am very satisfied with you. You are a good visitor, and I am very satisfied.
4. A good boy becomes a good tourist and restores the game mode of having a family.
Born in a family, the visitor himself is the kind of good boy you must be clever and sensible. You should please others, don't bother others, don't embarrass others, and be a good boy, so that everyone likes you and is satisfied with you. Interpersonal relationships look at other people's faces, fearing that others will feel disrespectful, afraid that others will have opinions on themselves, and afraid that others will not like themselves.
"Whether you are comfortable or not, you need to make others comfortable first."
In the consultation relationship, the visitor will project this part on the consultant, and try to play the role of the visitor and make the consultant like himself: I am fine, I will do it according to your method, which is very effective and I am obedient. You'll like me!
Visitors strive to be good children and visitors, hoping to be the "best visitors" of consultants, and they are very cooperative and obedient, and look forward to the praise and praise of consultants.
In this way, the consulting relationship is no longer a consulting relationship, but a performance stage for good children.
Third, false recovery is a manifestation of empathy. What should the counselor do?
When the error recovery happens, the psychological counselor needs to be vigilant, just like a big soft container, which contains all the presentations. Face this problem with visitors and use this clue to explore it slowly and deeply. Let's discuss what problems the counselor has and what parts of the visitors have. This node will make a breakthrough in consultation relationship and consultation.
1. False healing is the re-repression of trauma.
Visitors comfort counselors through false healing, and repress their own trauma again, because counselors don't allow this part to come out, just like parents treated themselves in those days: you should be obedient, you should be sensible, you can't have your own true feelings, your expression is not respected, you can't talk back, you can't cry, you can't get angry, so just do it, so many emotions and energy are suppressed and hidden, and you can't freely present and flow in the consulting room.
When presenting this part, visitors need to be aware of it in time by the psychological counselor. Through clarification and explanation, visitors can gently feel that the psychological counselor has realized this point, and then slowly deepen this point.
2. The narcissistic consciousness of psychological counselors.
Psychoanalysis is to pull others off the altar and yourself off the altar. It is easier to delegate externally, but more difficult to delegate internally, because narcissism will rise with the level of growth, and narcissism will reach a higher level at every stage, so it is even more difficult to detect.
The firm narcissism of psychological counselors is needed, but the inflated narcissism needs to be chewed carefully to form the reversal of the internal injuries involved. It is best for a counselor to find a counselor who is suitable for his own growth.
Realize the expectation of "I am a good consultant", with your anxiety and incompetence, realize the limitations of consultants, and take your time.
3. Growth is a long process, which can't be accomplished overnight.
Psychological growth is a long March. Don't expect it to be achieved by sprinting for 100 meters.
Everyone's psychological problems are not formed overnight. Rome was not built in a day, so it will be difficult to face. Seemingly simple questions are actually full of intense emotions and energy, so every visitor is easy to deal with.
Take your time, take every visitor seriously, attach great importance to strategy and tactics, and develop slowly in the consultation process. Tourists are like a painting, unfolding slowly. Don't worry, we can see the whole picture in enough time. Don't push too hard at a certain point, but understand the whole process of psychological counseling, understand the hardships, and extend it a little bit, instead of solving the problem, let the visitors flow naturally. Explore every detail, although some will use some disturbing methods, but these are only temporary methods, the purpose is to let visitors know where the blind spot is, so as to open the flowing gap and space.
4. A high degree of empathy and anti-empathy in the consultation process.
Freud said: Psychoanalysis actually deals with two core issues-empathy and resistance. In the process of consultation, empathy and resistance have always existed. Sometimes psychological counseling is like a game, competing with each other for wisdom, talent and skills, and all kinds of tricks and weapons will flood in. Psychological counselors need to have enough ability to recognize and feel subtle changes in body and mood. In the interaction with visitors, take emotions, feelings and physical feelings as clues, chew the meaning and feel what the other party imposes on you. These are all good clues. These clues often contain the counselor's own problems and the subconscious secrets of the visitors. They accompany themselves and visitors in the relationship and face the complicated psychological world together.
For this part, I recommend reading a book,11failure case, from which we can absorb a lot of nutrition.
Fourth, the * * * feeling, companionship and explanation of the false recovery of visitors.
For the common phenomenon of false recovery in the consultation process, psychological counselors can deeply understand the feelings and emotions behind this phenomenon on the basis of understanding the visitors, accompany TA through this process in a way suitable for the visitors, and clarify their views. You don't have to behave well to satisfy me. Thank you, we can face any problem in our hearts together, whether it is pain or pleasure, whether it is dark or complicated. I've always been here, and I won't abandon you. Take your time. No matter what you meet, we'll have a look. I'm in no hurry. I have enough patience. You can fully express your fear, dissatisfaction, anger, worry and anxiety about me. I can accept it.
Don't be afraid, I'm here, as stable as the earth.
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