We have done everything for our daughter from kindergarten to primary school. She's happy to be at ease. However, in the school group, children's weaknesses soon emerged. She does what the teacher says, and she believes everything the classmates say. When I was young, I thought she was a good girl. Now it seems that this will have a negative impact on children's development. In order to help her, we provide her with the opportunity to practice at home, such as buying clothes for her to see for herself. Styles, colors and prices are all set by her. When buying a schoolbag, it is up to her to decide whether it is Mickey Cartoon Princess series or Snoopy's burden-reducing schoolbag. At first, she always asked me which was better. I said, "Look at your own business. Do you need to ask me? " Also, when you do your homework, you should ask, "Did I do it right?" At this time, I will resolutely say: "Right is right, wrong is wrong, trust your eyes." The child soon learned to shop independently and gradually developed his own ideas. At least, when I ask her for advice, she will say "I think …" instead of "Mom listens to you".
Tingting, the mother of a 9-year-old girl, pointed out that children have the opportunity to participate.
In my opinion, children's lack of autonomy in doing things is related to parents' lack of communication with their children, arbitrariness in doing things and neglect to respect their demands. Children lose their judgment and become at a loss, so they become more and more dependent, indecisive and indecisive.
In my opinion, parents should give their children the opportunity to fully express their wishes and give them the opportunity to think independently. Therefore, when I decorate my house, I often ask my children's opinions, such as how to design the room better, what color he likes to paint the walls of the room, where to put the bookshelf, what style of furniture is good, and so on. Sometimes, when children can't make up their minds, I use heuristic words instead of commands, such as "What would you do if it were you?" "I want to hear my son's opinion." This way of communication makes children feel that adults attach great importance to him and he is encouraged. With our encouragement, children are now not only class cadres, but also do everything plausibly and like to take the initiative to undertake some domestic and foreign affairs.
Liu Ying, the mother of a 10-year-old boy, encouraged the children to be brave in challenges.
My children are usually obedient. If an adult says something, or sees something from books, newspapers or movies, which he thinks is true and correct, he dare not cross the line. I admire children's obedience, and I hope children can have personality and dare to do things. I often encourage children to learn to analyze and have their own opinions, but the children have not changed much. But the experience in the zoo had the greatest influence on him. That day, I took my children to the zoo and saw three thick ropes in front of the transparent glass of the chimpanzee room. Several adult tourists nearby said it was for chimpanzees to play on the bridge that day. My child insists that it is to prevent chimpanzees from hitting the glass when they are angry, but the child is right. This incident encouraged the children, who gradually stopped being passive towards Nuo Nuo and knew how to express their views in time and stick to what they felt was right.
Xin Yi is the mother of a 65438-year-old boy. She thinks that four children should learn to say "no".
My child is very opinionated when he is in trouble, which makes him often the center of a group of children. But it wasn't like this at first. At that time, he didn't care about anything, even playing games was for us to help him choose. After the child went to school, I told him that he was a big boy and had to make up his own mind about everything, such as playing games, eating fruit and getting dressed. His parents just help him. At the same time, tell him that if he is dissatisfied with anything, he should say it in time, "I'm full and don't want to eat", "I don't like apples, I like oranges", "I want to play hide-and-seek and I don't like jumping ball" and "Dad, leave me alone". We allow children to fully express their ideas. Of course, what he said is wrong, and I will patiently point it out to him and tell him what is right. At first, the mother of the child was very worried about whether the child would become willful and unruly, but it turned out that this made the child learn to be independent and not blindly follow. I think, if we cultivate children's so-called leadership temperament, we should probably start with cultivating children's opinions.
The 9-year-old boy's father is very strong, and only self-confidence can make him independent.
At the beginning, what my children often said when they came home from school was "The teacher said …" and "My classmates asked me …". When I signed up for the training class, my neighbor said that learning chess could make my mind active, so I signed up for his chess class. My classmate said that practicing Taekwondo can keep fit, so he asked me to sign up for his Taekwondo class. In order to make children become independent, I took the opportunity of telling children stories before going to bed, and carefully selected several short stories to tell him, among which the growth story of China chess master Xie Jun inspired children greatly. When Xie Jun is about to graduate from primary school, there are two ways before her: one is to walk to a key middle school; One is to continue learning chess. Xie Jun decided to learn his favorite chess. At Xie Jun's insistence, my mother fully listened to Xie Jun's advice and agreed that she would continue to learn chess. Thus, a world chess master was born. With our encouragement, the children finally insisted on taking taekwondo classes. Now, the child is not only strong and healthy, but also confident, and speaks "forcefully" like a little man.
Zhang Xiujun, the mother of a 9-year-old boy, presided over: Cultivating children's opinions is not to let children go their own way without listening to advice, but to hope that children will keep a clear head and have their own thinking and judgment when faced with choices. This can avoid or reduce unnecessary losses or failures in the process of growth.