Scene: classroom
League branch secretary: classmates, classmates, comrades and compatriots. . . Same. . . Why? Please listen to me!
Three people: Go ahead.
Communist Youth League Secretary: Are you listening?
Three people: I'm listening!
Communist Youth League Secretary: Really?
Three people: Really!
Communist Youth League Secretary: Are you sure?
Three people: OK.
Communist Youth League Secretary: No remorse?
Three people: no regrets.
Communist Youth League Secretary: Are you serious? Did you lie to me?
Three people: Do you want to talk or not?
Communist Youth League Secretary: Oh, I'm starting to talk! -What am I going to say?
Three people fainted.
Youth League Secretary: Ah! ! ! ! exactly
Three people sit up.
Youth League Secretary: I really forgot what I was going to say!
Three people fainted again.
Communist Youth League Secretary: Well, get to the point, you can't get drunk again! You should keep working hard, be self-reliant, volunteer, stand on your own feet, stand on your own feet, stand on your own feet. . . Make good changes and boycott Japanese goods!
Xiaoling: What a mess!
Communist Youth League Secretary: Xiaoling! Why do you sleep in class?
Xiaoling: I was sleepy and fell asleep!
Communist Youth League Secretary: Why don't you sleep in the dormitory?
Xiaoling: I think! But the teacher won't let me go!
Communist Youth League Secretary: Can't you sleep after class?
Xiaoling: I sleep after class!
Communist Youth League Secretary: What to do in the evening?
Xiaoling: What do you do at night?
Communist Youth League Secretary: Go to sleep!
Xiaoling: We have the same habits!
Communist Youth League Secretary: What do you do besides sleeping?
Xiaoling: It's very important! -Eat!
Communist Youth League Secretary: What about studying?
Xiaoling: I also want to consult this question!
Communist Youth League Secretary: Classmate! Please correct your attitude! Why do you sleep all day?
Xiaoling: Yes!
Communist Youth League Secretary: Can't you sleep all night?
Xiaoling fainted.
Xiao Ai: Ha ha ha!
Communist Youth League Secretary: Xiao Ai, why do you always play games?
Xiao Ai: Psychological needs!
Communist Youth League Secretary: What's interesting about the game? Play after school! Look down on you who play games the most. You have no technical content at all! Tell your teacher is very angry, and the consequences will be serious!
Xiao Wu: Haha, you hung up again!
Communist Youth League Secretary: And you, Xiao Wu!
Wu: Yes!
Communist Youth League Secretary: Look at you all day. Besides dating girls, drinking tea and walking, are these achievements worth soaking in?
Wu: Yes! There is no bright future! -No pretty girls!
Communist Youth League Secretary: No bright future-no bright future!
Students, students, comrades, and-
Three people: Just say it!
Communist Youth League Secretary: With whom!
Three people fainted.
Communist Youth League Secretary: Burning our youth!
Xiaoling: No matches!
Communist Youth League Secretary: Work hard!
Xiao Ai: I have no strength!
Communist Youth League Secretary: Get rid of your bad habits!
Wu: It won't abandon me!
League Secretary: Come on, let's work together!
Three people get down: alas!
Communist Youth League Secretary: Hurry up, hurry up, let's-
The bell rings.
Communist Youth League Secretary:-Let's eat!
Three people: Yes!
Communist Youth League Secretary: How could you? Are you so worthy of the party, the country, the people and your mother? Good enough for me?
What does Xiao Ai feel: Mom!
Youth League Secretary: Hey!
Xiao Ai: Use me!
Communist Youth League Secretary: It was an accident! Music!
(< Magic Wind > The lyrics are like this)
Xiaoling: Actually, I don't want to sleep that much! Sleep, just to escape from reality! When you sleep, you can't see the teacher who is lecturing, you can't see the serious classmates, you don't have to think about anything, you don't have to think about anything! I also want to study, but I always feel like taking a break. . .
The other three applauded.
Xiao Ai: Seriously, I don't have to play games. Because I feel tired and can't learn well, I want to paralyze myself with games! The more depressed you are, the more you play games. I am the king in the game, which gives me temporary happiness, but the worse my grades are. The worse your grades are, the more depressed you are!
The other three applauded.
Wu: To tell you the truth, I really have a lot of longing for love. I want to experience the romance after dusk at the willow tip on the moon, and also find an excuse to avoid learning! Once you relax yourself, people are lazy and don't want to study.
Three people applauded.
Communist Youth League Secretary: I think I understand your feelings. You have walked into your inner shadow! So I want to help you! As a Communist Youth League secretary, it is my responsibility to help you! As classmates, I hope the students who stay behind will return to the team!
(Music stops! ) Because we came to the same group, from that day on, we were a family! (Music "Because we are a family")
Communist Youth League Secretary: Good! Maybe you can't get used to it for a while, but I will always help you, guide you and seduce you!
Three people: huh?
Communist Youth League Secretary: No! Guide you! Lure you!
Three people: Huh?
Communist Youth League Secretary: In a word, let's work together!
Three people: fight!
Several people study hard together, help each other and relax.
Xiaoling: With the help of the Communist Youth League Secretary, I finally understand that I will have a candle every night for 36,000 days! My grades have finally appeared (take out the brand! ) excellent!
(Singing) I like sour and sweet. This is the real me. The door to classes will never come again. What a wonderful world, waiting for me to discover!
Xiao Ai: (holding a book in her arms) Since I stopped playing games and easily passed the CET-4, I am now studying English hard. My goal is:-First!
(Singing) Hehehe Hey, stop playing games! Hehe, hehe, hey, stop playing games! Rebuild the symbol of the king of heaven, I kicked it away!
Wu: There is Yan Ruyu in the book, but there is one in the book. . . Or Yan Ruyu! Since I was accompanied by books, my empty heart has finally been filled! I waved my sleeve, so I won't take a remake!
(Singing) I want to be the child who studies hard in fairy tales and never study happily again!
Communist Youth League Secretary: Classmates, classmates and comrades, why are they all gone? Why? You have finally become excellent league members! Keep working hard and never give up!
Three people: Thank you! Why?
answer to a curtain call
The lines of the sketch "Sell"
A: student b: yogurt salesman (male) c: cosmetics salesman (female) d: kitchen knife salesman (male)
Well, mom, this normal college is heavily guarded. ............................................................................................................................................................., is your teacher Jing ... here?
No, what can I do for you?
B: Good, good ... Come on, classmate. Have you been under great pressure to study recently?
Hey, what do you say? Students are the hardest ... the most tired ... they can't get paid ... alas, they have become more and more frivolous recently. ...
B: I dropped out of school like a kindergarten class, but now let it all go! As long as you use this product ... Mengniu yogurt
-Advertising time
A: I'm B: I'm Altman.
We have been drinking Mengniu yogurt.
Answer: Drink Mengniu Yogurt and test Tsinghua!
B: drink Mengniu yogurt to protect the earth!
B: This product is mixed with dog milk, cat milk and Sanlu milk residue, and it is rich in nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium and other elements to make you nutritious and healthy!
So ... Is it still drinkable?
B: Of course! My family has a little dog named Junichiro. It tastes lovely! Make sure that after drinking, you will feel dizzy, chest tightness, palpitation and memory loss.
A: What?
B: Ah, ah, I mean, all these symptoms have disappeared ... Here, have a taste.
A: ah, how did it leak?
Ah ... this milk is spiritual. I can't wait to run out as soon as I see you.
Oh, my God ... Why is the floor rotten?
That's concentrated sulfuric acid. Now many companies only pay attention to sales and ignore personal safety. What they say about yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, is actually not sour at all. Our company only pays attention to reputation. If you don't think it's sour enough, here are hydrochloric acid and nitric acid. Would you like to have a try?
A: ... you dream. I don't want it. Don't disturb my study. Go for a walk (push)
B: Yaya, dogs like to drink. Why don't you like drinking? Come on, every time you buy a bottle, you will donate 50 yuan money to Project Hope.
A: That's all right. how much is it?
B: It's B:50 yuan! Good stuff.
A: Here you are.
B: Project Hope has entered my home.
Sell skin care products
C: Classmate, do you need skin care products? Now I buy a skin care product and give you a 18 carat diamond necklace. Oh, hey, don't go. Why did you all leave? …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
C: Ah, so handsome and stylish!
A: Stop! Sister, can I help you?
C: Wow, what a rough and magnetic voice! Hee hee, classmate, do you need skin care products?
A: Hi! What skin care products does a big man want?
C: You can't say that. What age is it now? Equality between men and women! Men … should also know how to take care of themselves!
Will you stop fooling around? I mean, I don't need any skin care products!
C: This classmate, really, I did it for your own good! Do you think you are really young? Look at your dark circles. Your face is full of pits. However, these problems are all handed over to our company. Our products are specially developed and produced for menopausal students like you. He can not only solve eight skin problems at a time, but also prevent hair loss and promote metabolism. ..........................................................................................................
What did you say?/Sorry?
C: Oh-oh, I mean, a handsome guy like you must have a lot of MM fans!
A: (painful and helpless) Alas! To tell the truth, I-I don't have a girlfriend yet! Depressed!
C: Impossible! Then the girls around you are too blind and do not understand aesthetics! Look at this body plate, (A stands up, chest out) this muscle (pick up the dumbbell to exercise! ), this line (posing as a bodybuilder)-nothing can compare with that "Shi Teisinger"!
A: Schwarzenegger, big sister!
C: Yes, yes, it is the combination of Schwarzenegger and Stallone! But don't worry, it's my treat, as long as you use our high-end skin care products in Paris, England, and ensure that the girls who chase you line up!
A: What? Paris, England?
C: Isn't it? Oh, I remember, it's Paris, the capital of Iraq!
Oh, my God! Hey, isn't this Dabao SOD honey?
C: (grabbing) What? Not even close. It's called the supreme treasure pineapple jackfruit. Haven't you heard that advertisement?
————————— Commercial advertising time.
Zombies jump out
C: pineapple and jackfruit! Ok, Supreme Treasure brand pineapple jackfruit, let time solidify and youth stay forever, please remember!
Are you kidding me?
C: How could you be wrong? Because my brother and sister are predestined friends, you are 250!
A: How expensive! !
C: How can it be expensive? After using this product, it can also produce photosynthesis, constantly update organic matter, let you discharge toxins and relax your body and mind! I'm telling you, I lost a lot of blood, too. You can pay 180! Our products have passed the international certification of ISO900 1, which is absolutely immortal! There are also buy one get one free, free magpie bridge matchmaking agency coupons! (Give A a business card)
A: What? Queqiao matchmaking agency is a five-star matchmaker, known as one of the first love killers of boys-Ugly Sister Xiang!
C: Hee hee, sorry, these are all nicknames given to me! Our aim is to make every handsome guy like you have a home! Isn't it, handsome? You're popular, charming, charming, and angry with thousands of girls-
A: (giggle) Hehe, really?
C: Certainly!
A: Sister, what a fate! Ok, I'll take it!
Bye, handsome!
A: Thank you! Handsome boy, hehe, this is the first time I've heard a woman call me that. Cool! 180 bought a bottle of Bauer SOD honey, alas, it is really worthy of this face!
C down, d up.
D: (kicking the door)
A: Who is it?
D: (Look at each other and play the man as a self-improvement song! Mongolian wrestling) (takes out a kitchen knife) Brother, buy a kitchen knife!
A: (trembling) Wh-what?
Don't be afraid, brother. I kill pigs. I don't kill people! Buy a kitchen knife, brother!
I am a poor student. Why should I buy a kitchen knife?
D: of course it works! This knife is not an ordinary pig killing knife. Experts say that this is high-tech and the number one weapon in the world-that-that-wait a minute.
Look aside-eight secrets of killing pigs … No … Anqing Tongji Clinic, B-ultrasound, gamma knife and other high-tech free … gamma knife …
-Oh, by the way, it's called gamma knife!
————————— Commercial advertising time.
-In the past, when killing pigs, pigs always loved to be alive and kicking. Since the gamma knife, even pigs are gentle.
-Has it started? It's over. Since I used the gamma knife, he has been good to me!
What's the matter, brother? Buy one and go home to play!
A: What? Go home and play with a kitchen knife!
Why not? This knife does not add any preservatives, is rich in vitamin ABCDEFG, and contains no cholesterol. Besides, my knife has many uses!
What other uses does the kitchen knife have?
You don't understand! My knife can cut vegetables, meat, cucumbers and watermelons-yes, he can also sharpen pencils, cut test papers, cut nails and pull double eyelids! Oh, by the way, he can keep fit! I think that General Manager Li has become a great soldier Jet Li since he used our pig-killing knife. What a good knife!
A: The masses never give in. One word, don't buy, two words, just don't buy, hey-
D: What's the matter, classmate? (at the neck of the tool holder)
A: How much is it?
D: 100！ Huh? -Huh? -Is it too cheap?
D: It's just trouble for you students to do business. Uh ... That's 200 yuan.
(salary)
Here, you will be the next Jet Li!
D Xia
E: (playing B on the stage)
B: (groaning) Oh! Why? Be gentle! Damn it!
E: (pushing the CD onto the stage) Hey, hey, you still want to run! Stop! Sample, new guy! If you don't believe it, Anda Security can't fix you! Security guards will keep you safe. Choose security guards and choose Anda security guards!
Curtain call reference:
Very dull! ~
Respondents: Xiao Rouxi | Level 2 | 201-5-14 20:11.
Finally, thank you. "
Time: now
Location: Two residential areas
Character: Mei Qiu (female)
Ashin
Ling Di (female) A Xin's wife.
On the left of the stage is A Xin's house, on the right is Mei Qiu's house, and in the middle is the aisle. Doors and stairs are virtual.
A Xin went to Taichung to open the electronic door with a key (virtual action, the same below) and waited for his wife to pick up the newspaper. Mei Qiu followed closely. As soon as A Xin opened the door, she jumped in and went up the stairs. Spirit emperor followed, A Xin entered the door and walked up the stairs.
Lingdi: (muttering while going upstairs) When someone opens the door, she goes in, but she doesn't know how to thank you!
Qiu Mei: (walks to her door) What are you thankful for? What are you grateful for?
Ling Di: (also facing her own door) I've been opening the electronic door downstairs. You enjoyed the ready-made one, so you just jumped in without saying a word, and you didn't thank me!
Mei Qiu: I told him to drive? Who told him to park there with the door open?
Lingdi: (angry) Are you being unreasonable?
Mei Qiu: How much is a catty?
Lingdi: (more angry) you!
Letter: OK, OK, small matter, go back!
Qiu Mei: I tell you, I have never thanked anyone since I was a child!
The two families entered the house separately.
Ling Di: Look at this kind of person! The door slammed shut!
Forget it, it's not that you don't know. Qiu is Mei and has a good temper.
Lingdi: I always give in to her. I usually have to listen to her in the community dance team. If you are not satisfied, you will lose your temper and hit people with your arms!
A Xin: On the other hand, she is not a bad person, but she has no manners. She said she wouldn't thank you. She doesn't have this habit.
Lingdi: People should always be polite. No culture!
A Xin: (muttering) No culture, no culture. ...
Ling Di does housework, while A Xin reads newspapers.
Mei Qiu has been rummaging through the bag she brought back and then making a phone call.
Qiu Mei: (anxiously) Husband, it's me. Just opened the mailbox, there is no notice from the company! ... I looked it up online and it should be available today! ... I'm so anxious! ... let's watch the afternoon All right, that's it. (Hang up)
Qiu Meijin went to do housework.
A Xin turned a page and dropped a letter.
A Xin: Company notice? Yang, room 302? Ling Di, come on! The postman dropped the letter into my mailbox by mistake.
Lingdi: Ouch! Her son is applying for a job and his life is in danger. Send it quickly!
A Xin: Yes, I will deliver it.
Lingdi: Wait, I'll see if she will thank me.
A Xin: Thank you for such an important letter.
Ling Di opened the door and rang the doorbell. Qiu Mei, open the door.
Qiu Mei: (seeing Ling Di) It's you again! I'm bored! I just didn't thank you! Damn it!
Qiu Mei closes the door.
Ling Di: (angrily) Qiu, are you an adult or a child? You come out!
A Xin pulled him home and closed the door.
Lingdi: What do you want me to do? I want to reason with her! How irritating!
A Xin: It's a little exciting, but don't make it too stiff. Door to door, looking down but not looking up, life is sad.
Ling Di: You are a man. No wonder people call you Kong!
A Xin: The words "respect, sincerity, courtesy and concession" were handed down to me by my father's father!
Ling Di: How many people say "respect, sincerity, courtesy and concession" now? (Want to enter)
A Xin: Wait, what about this letter?
Lingdi: I left it at her door!
A Xin: Thanks to your imagination! What if I lose it?
Lingdi: Throw it in her mailbox again, no matter what we do!
A Xin: Ling Di, you can't say that. Now the streets and alleys are calling for building blocks, and neighbors should care for and help each other.
Lingdi: You are right! I just got a rebuff. Did you see it?
A Xin: Forget it. Let's measure it a little. Maybe she is in a hurry, so she has a big temper. We are several years older than her. We should not only make way for her, but also help him.
Ling Di: If everyone were like you, a harmonious society would have been realized long ago!
A Xin: Whether she likes it or not, I'd better post it.
A Xin, open the door and ring the doorbell opposite.
Mei Qiu opened the door. This time, A Xin was smart enough to show the notice immediately to avoid being scolded.
Mei Qiu: What's this?
A Xin: Letters from your family.
Mei Qiu: (surprised) Notice? How did you have it?
A Xin: The postman was careless and voted for the wrong ticket.
Mei Qiu: Oh, I was so worried. Why didn't you say so earlier?
A Xin: After the discovery, Lingdi made it for the first time, but it didn't work.
Qiu Mei: (a little embarrassed) Um ... Sorry!
Qiu Mei closed the door and was anxious to read the notice.
A Xin went back to the house and closed the door.
Lingdi: I still can't thank you.
A Xin: Sorry, but thank you!
It's on the right.
Mei Qiu: (exultation) Yes! (urgent call) husband! The notice is coming! Maotou was admitted! ... I just met someone who gave it to me. Oh, happy! Dear, the wool head comes back tonight, let's go out for dinner to celebrate! I'll turn off the gas now. Bye. (Hang up)
To the left.
A Xin: It's funny to think about how many years have passed since Shanghai's spiritual civilization was built. This is also the "seven noes" rule and polite language. It's like teaching a child, but you can't teach it!
On the left, the phone rang.
Lingdi: (answers the phone) Who is it?
Qiu Mei: Ling Di, this is Qiu Mei.
Lingdi: Do what?
Mei Qiu: (hard, not loud) ... Thank you, thank you!
Lingdi: (inaudible) What did you say?
Mei Qiu: (still vague) Thank you!
Lingdi: (intentionally) say what? Speak louder!
Mei Qiu: (simply loudly) Thank you!
Lingdi: (delighted) Oh! Finally, thank you!
Qiu Mei: You are so embarrassed!
Ling Di: What did the notice say? Did the son take it?
Mei Qiu: Yes! Got a job! My husband punished me. Thank you.
Lingdi: No wonder! Thank you now!
Mei Qiu: What else?
Lingdi: Eat sugar!
Qiu Mei: In a word! Open the door! Eat sugar!
Qiu Mei went home to get sugar. Lingdi and A Xin pushed the door and came out, while Qiu Mei scattered sugar.
Ling Di and A Xin: Thank you! thank you
Mei Qiu: Thank you!
Ling Di: Thank you!
Mei Qiu: Thank you!
Three people laughed.
A Xin: This is totally-
Lingdi: Next door neighbor,
Qiu Mei: Kissing is hot,
A Xin: Polite,