1, skillfully using "cup effect" to detect goodwill
There is a cup effect in psychology, because everyone will have a close contact with their mouth when using a cup, so the distance between cups of the opposite sex will reflect their intimacy to some extent.
For example, at the dinner table, if you put the cup close to another person's cup, the other person subconsciously takes his cup away, which shows that the other person is full of vigilance, which can also be said to be a low degree of affection.
If there is someone you like, ask TA out for a cup of milk tea, quietly shorten the distance between the two cups in the conversation and observe the other person's reaction. If the TA does not move, it shows that your's relations have a chance to deepen. If TA moves away or takes it away immediately, which proves that he is still wary of you, then keep the status quo for the time being.
2. People's emotions are most vulnerable at night.
At night, people will change from a "social role" to a "personal role" to release their emotional feelings, so they will frantically chop their hands, think of their predecessors, and make decisions on a whim at night. If you want to verify whether your mood is correct, I'll teach you a simple little method: after going to bed, if you want to do it again, do it again. This trick can help you reduce 90% troubles and unnecessary consumption.
Don't tell others your goal easily.
When you tell others that you have not achieved your goal, your brain will have an illusion and satisfaction that you have achieved your goal. Especially the early congratulations from friends and others, will make you mistake empty talk for practice. In this way, you can relax your efforts and it will be more difficult to achieve your goals.
Many studies have confirmed this, the famous one is Peter Gorvits's psychological experiment.
People often have the illusion that if we announce our goals and make public commitments, our friends will supervise us and our parents will cheer us up, so we will work harder. But the sad truth is that no one cares about your goals except yourself.
The solution to the problem is to write down the goal (avoid forgetting), make a reasonable and detailed plan, and complete it step by step.
Pretending to be confident will make you more confident
In fact, psychological self-suggestion is applied. In language, I keep telling myself that I can talk to people loudly and clearly; In posture, show all kinds of confident postures, such as holding your head high, shaking hands firmly and keeping your eyes on the front. Even imitating confident body language will make you more confident.
In "Catch Me If You Dare" starring Xiao and Tom Hanks, Xiao played Frank who was bullied by his classmates because of his serious clothes, and was jokingly called a "substitute teacher" after he transferred to school.
In order to punish evil and promote good, Frank had a brainwave and pretended to be a substitute teacher. He calmly walked to the platform and wrote his name on the blackboard. He introduced himself loudly, with a loud voice and straight back.
Frank, who just entered the new school, is actually very timid, but he hinted at himself actively, fully mobilized his body language, and deceived everyone, even his timid self.
5. Show weaknesses appropriately
The weak effect refers to an attitude of being humble and cautious in front of others in interpersonal communication. At the same time, after showing weakness, people will have a series of positive effects and have a positive role in promoting feelings.
Numerous social practices have proved that people who like to be brave and not show weakness can easily expose their shortcomings and defects in front of outsiders. Many times, moderate and strategic weakness can gain the understanding and support of others, and also gain more room for survival and development.
6. Don't label yourself easily.
A classic term in psychology, "label effect", means that once a person is attracted by a conclusion, he will consciously act according to this conclusion just like a commodity is labeled. During World War II, American psychologists did an experiment. They recruited a group of new recruits who were undisciplined and did not listen to their commands, and their personalities were relatively new. They asked the soldiers to write a letter to their families every month to the effect that they fought bravely on the battlefield and obeyed discipline and command. This is just a small change. Half a year later, psychologists found that these soldiers really changed as stated in the letter. When we label ourselves as positive, our life will improve little by little. On the contrary, once you label yourself negatively, or even exaggerate the harm of negative labels, you will drag yourself into the swamp of negative energy.