Many parents said when chatting with me that it was really disobedient for the child not to yell at him, but after yelling, I felt very sad to see the frightened eyes of the child.
Some parents also said: I am too tired to go to work during the day and want to have a good rest when I go home at night, but the children are always pestering you to ask questions, which makes my mood suddenly break out, but I don't think it should be like this after yelling.
Zi Qian's mother told me:' I regret every time I yell. I don't eat because I didn't eat well. No matter how I coax him, I can't help picking him up from his chair and throwing him to the ground. As a result, I fell and hit my head on the ground When he looked at me with frightened eyes and wanted to cry, I felt distressed and regretted it! ''
All parents who yell at their children have no regrets. When I was a child, my parents seemed to be very good at taking care of their children. In fact, it gets worse when you reach puberty, or they simply ignore you.
From childhood to adulthood, the only thing we can wait for is that children and parents are like enemies, either stormy or stagnant.
"De-emotional discipline" says that children can be more effectively restrained through love and laughter, rather than severe reprimand.
And parents' emotions directly affect their children's growth. What kind of personality will parents who are often angry, shouting and abusing their children form?
1, insecure
First of all, the most serious thing is insecurity, which is manifested in loneliness, inadaptability to crowded occasions, fear of communicating with people, and even fear of unfamiliar environment.
A high school classmate told me that I hope to be admitted to a university close to home, preferably in the same city. I asked him, "Why?" He said,' I'm afraid I can't take care of myself in a strange environment. I asked again,' What if I really enter another city? He said,'' Then we have to take the exam again. This classmate is a typical expression of insecurity since he was a child.
2. Strong desire for control
There are also timid and controlling people. The more insecure people are, the more they love to control everything. They are afraid of feeling out of control, especially emotionally. They are suspicious and jealous. Once there are signs of trouble, they will think and suffer. This is the root cause of the contradiction between husband and wife and lovers.
3. Self-doubt
In the end, I will seriously enter the misunderstanding of self-doubt. No matter at work or in love, I will doubt whether others have hurt me, others have deliberately hurt themselves, and even feel that the whole world is against me, and then choose to commit suicide.
4. Don't yell at children, and control your emotions.
When children don't make mistakes, the key is that if parents can manage their emotions well, face their children's mistakes, don't make a hullabaloo about, and guide them rationally, I believe the children themselves will realize their mistakes. Yelling at children is the most incompetent performance.
The interpretation of mood in Ci Hai is: mood, mood also. A good mood is pleasant and inspiring; Being in a bad mood can make people feel depressed and at a loss.
Chineydy's mother told me such a thing. She said: yesterday, the child lied in the remedial class that there was no math homework. I then asked his math teacher, who asked me to stay, but the child still had to go home and correct the wrong questions.
When I came back at night, I felt a little angry with him, so I went out and came back to tell him: I already know that you are lying. He went on to say: he can't do it, and he doesn't know how to correct the wrong question. I said: it is wrong to do it. Whether you can do it or not is all your homework. He added: I couldn't help saying it.
It is very wrong for children to tell lies. The mother's practice is commendable. Yelling at children or hitting them doesn't make them understand where they are wrong, but only makes them feel that it is enough to lie and hit them next time.
If parents can manage their emotions, guide their children healthily and actively, and let them realize where they are wrong, it is the most important thing.
How to manage your emotions?
Go out for a walk
Parents can't help but start yelling at their children when they make mistakes?
When such a thing is about to happen, it is better to let yourself leave for a while, or go for a walk in the community, or go outside to get some fresh air. When your mood is stable and you communicate with your child, you will treat your child's mistakes rationally.
Replace you with me.
I don't know if you have noticed what mother Xingyu said above. She used'' I already know you lied. This is what mom thinks, not how can you lie? Accusations.
Children don't like to eat. If they shout, they won't come to eat.
Then try this method: say to the child,' I am very angry now, I hope you can finish him. Or I thought you weren't hungry, so I took the bowl away. '
In this way, children can understand. First of all, my mother was angry because I didn't eat. Second, my mother thinks I'm not hungry and wants to take the rice away.
Children will realize that if I don't go to eat, the consequences will be very serious, that is, I will make my mother angry and I will have no food, but I will come to eat well.
Other people's children are in my house.
Many parents are stormy to their children, but sunny to them.
Other children come to the house as guests, bringing toys and fruits. Even if they accidentally break things in their own homes, they won't yell at their children. If their children make mistakes, they will either beat or scold them. Then why don't we treat our children as children of other families?
When parents think about how to treat other people's children like their own, there is no yelling, no beating and scolding, and they can whisper to their children when they are in trouble:' Nothing, nothing, as long as you are not injured.' '
We give all our bad temper and bad mood to our children, which is unfair to them.
Some parents think that I can't change my temper like this. My parents have treated me like this since I was a child. I have grown up and have a house and a car.
The times are developing and the society is progressing. It would be a big mistake to measure children today according to our childhood. Today's children's IQ at the age of five can crush us at the age of ten.
Therefore, educating children is the same. We should keep pace with the times and change the educational concept we inherited from the older generation.