Arlene said that others say that marriage is a happy thing, but for her, marriage will not make her happy at all, because she is really afraid of this marriage now.
Arlene said that she was engaged to her boyfriend last year. At that time, when my parents met, they talked about everything. The bride price and the mortgage of the wedding room are prepared by the man, and then the husband and wife pay the mortgage themselves. The decoration of the wedding room and car was prepared by the woman.
At that time, Arlene was particularly looking forward to marriage, because for women, marriage is the most important day in their lives, so she prepared a lot of things. But before she got married, her future mother-in-law changed her mind. A series of things happened later, which made Arlene lose her mind about this marriage and have the idea of breaking up the marriage.
Arlene said that one month before the wedding, her future mother-in-law changed her mind because the wedding invitation was sent out. That day, the future mother-in-law called Arlene home, and then said to Arlene in front of her boyfriend, "Daughter-in-law, because your work is still unstable and your life pressure is too great, we are going to help you pay off your mortgage for one year first. We won't let you suffer after you get married. " Arlene was about to thank her future mother-in-law, and her next sentence directly left her speechless. Because her mother-in-law said to her, "She wants to write her name on the house and tell Arlene not to worry, because she only has one son, and the house will still be theirs."
Hearing her mother-in-law's words, A Ling was particularly uncomfortable. She said to her mother-in-law, "You can write your name on the house, but my boyfriend and I don't pay the mortgage or the decoration fee, because the house is yours and it has nothing to do with us." It was Arlene's words that stimulated her future mother-in-law, so her mother-in-law said to Arlene directly with a straight face: "Daughter-in-law, the mortgage is 2,000 yuan per month, you can move out without paying, otherwise you have to pay the rent, and don't think about living in vain. If you really love my son, you won't care whose name is written in the house, because the house can't run away. As long as you keep your position, the future is yours. "
After listening to her mother-in-law's words, Arlene was completely angry, and then directly said to her mother-in-law, "Don't call me daughter-in-law, I'm not married yet." Arlene said that what made her most angry that day was not her mother-in-law's words, but her boyfriend's words, because her boyfriend not only didn't speak for her that day, but even told Arlene not to be unreasonable, saying that his mother was for their own good, and even said that the future of the house was his and there was no need to fight.
Arlene said that her boyfriend even said to Arlene: "He especially hates women who worship money, because love is pure, so it should not be measured by the house. If Arlene really loves her, then marry him directly instead of fighting for the house. "
Arlene said that now she really doesn't know what to do. Because she still loves her boyfriend, and the wedding invitations have been sent out, if she doesn't get married, her parents will be ashamed, so she asked me, what should she do?
Bian Xiao has something to say:
In my opinion, I think Arlene's top priority is to tell her parents about it. Her parents have the right to know and know what to do. As for Arlene, I don't think she can marry, because her compromise is doomed to future tragedy, because neither a mean mother-in-law nor a man who doesn't love her so much can bring Arlene happiness, but they will only bring Arlene harm and misfortune.
I don't think Arlene has any problem with this matter, because she really has no obligation to help her mother-in-law repay the mortgage or help the poor. Because the name of her mother-in-law is written on the property certificate of that house, it means that this house is her future mother-in-law, and it really has nothing to do with her. Even if she pays off the mortgage, if there are problems in her marriage and she gets divorced, she won't get any points in this house, because that house is the private property of her future mother-in-law, not the property of her husband and wife.
In my opinion, Arlene's boyfriend doesn't love her so much, and it's not worth her marriage and effort. Because a man who loves her will never kidnap her with morality, nor will he let her resist all the risks and responsibilities alone, but should take the initiative to help her resist all the responsibilities and risks and make her feel more secure.
If Arlene's boyfriend really loves her, why not just write Arlene's name on the house? If love is really pure, why did he let Arlene sacrifice and compromise for her? He can't do it himself. Why should he say Arlene is unreasonable?
Teacher Jin Xing once said, "Give me love, give me money or get out!" " ! If a woman can't rely on a man for anything, what does she need from him? "
For Arlene, her boyfriend didn't give her enough sense of security both materially and spiritually, so Arlene's failure to get married was doomed to be a tragedy.
Regarding Arlene's worry, I don't think it's a problem, because compared with her lifelong marriage, the face problem of breaking off marriage is negligible.
I hope the women around me can understand: "A man who always promises you but doesn't take practical actions, a man who always makes you pay for him and make you sacrifice for him, must not love you, because they love themselves more than you".