The cushion acts as a buffer. At the beginning of our conversation, we basically start with questions and answers. At this time, in order to avoid falling into the tension of question and answer, we need cushions to ease the atmosphere, establish the initial trust between the two sides and prepare for further communication.
There are three main types of cushions:
1. Praise the questioner. Simply put, it is to praise him for asking a good question.
The other person asks a question, and if you just answer this question, whether it meets the other person's expectations or not, you will be embarrassed-yes, there is no following; Mismatch, rigid relationship.
On the one hand, praising the other party can ease the mood, on the other hand, it also leaves enough space and time for the other party to provide more information and pave the way for the next conversation.
2. Say that his question is universal and representative.
The function of this mat is to generalize the questions, so that the other person's psychology will relax and feel that the questions he asks are very level. This also eased the tension.
Before you answer, tell me something about yourself.
The core of this mat is weakness, which can win each other's favor and reduce their doubts about the answer. Of course, being weak doesn't mean you are weak. Only a strong person will admit that you are weak. Keeping a low profile can lower your expectations, so that when you give a good answer, it will surprise the other person. This puts you in an advantageous position.
Second, cater to-create a * * * vibration field with * * emotion.
Catering is not flattery, but by expressing understanding to the other party, you can gain the love and recognition of the other party. Or you can call it empathy. After the other party asks questions, first cater to lower his psychological alert, and at the same time let the other party put down his emotions and enter rational communication.
There are three ways to cater to it:
1, find facts to change your point of view
In other words, when the other party expresses their opinions, they appropriately provide corresponding facts to express their approval. It is easy to gain each other's trust.
2. Find a point of view for the fact
Ditto.
Step 3 add details
In the case of facts and opinions, you can add details, show empathy, and create a feeling that you are the same kind.
Extended data
Pay attention to the conversation:
Don't rush to solve problems for others;
Many people like to express their opinions on other people's affairs, while most people don't like others to tell them what to do. When someone talks to you about him, you should first ask yourself whether he really needs your help to solve his mother's problem or just needs someone to listen.
Don't be distracted:
When talking, we need to pay close attention to each other's words, emotions and actions, which requires a high degree of concentration. If you look at your mobile phone from time to time or pay attention to other places, the effect of the conversation will be greatly reduced.