Retirement at work is easy to say, but even when I am old enough to say goodbye to my busy life, I turn around and find that there is more work waiting for me. In order to reduce the burden on their children, parents who are over 60 can only take the baton with their grandchildren.
But this take-over, I don't know when it will be the end.
Aunt Li, who is over sixty years old, came to Beijing from her hometown to help her daughter look after the children. Daughter and son-in-law are busy at work. In order to help the children, Aunt Li lived for several years, not only to look after the children, but also to clean up the housework.
At first, Aunt Li's daughter thanked her mother very much and treated her very well, but after a long time, her daughter-in-law gradually got used to it. She always felt that Aunt Li's contribution was actually a matter of course for her parents.
The little grandson is in poor health and has been ill since he entered kindergarten. His daughter blamed Aunt Li for not taking good care of her children, and she was very critical of her.
A daughter friend visited her home and saw a child who had lost a lot of weight because of illness. She joked that you are a breeder and you are not qualified. Why are children so thin?
Aunt Li's daughter unconsciously said that it was all my mother's fault. She can't look after the children.
This sentence plunged into Aunt Li's heart like a knife. She never imagined that she was not afraid of hardship and fatigue, but she got such an evaluation when serving a family.
In fact, there are several old sisters who are similar to her. "Grandma's group" often talks about the ups and downs of watching children and listening to children's stories while walking the baby:
Aunt Wang: Not two years after retirement, my daughter was pregnant, so I had to "go back to work" and start helping her with the children. Seeing that my granddaughter will go to primary school in September this year, my daughter told me that she was pregnant again, which has been more than two months. I don't know when I can retire this time.
Aunt Li: Yes, what can I do? My son-in-law is away all the year round. If I am not a mother, who will help me?
Nowadays, the cost of raising children is not small. One more person works and life is more secure. Many treasure mothers entrust their children to their mothers after weaning.
As an old man, on the one hand, I feel sorry for my daughter, afraid that my child will go to work again and take care of too much. On the other hand, I don't trust to give my children to others to take care of myself. I simply chose to go into battle in person and joined the mighty parenting army.
Grandma, in particular, can only take care of her children in order not to let her daughter suffer indignities at home and in the workplace.
But taking care of children is not a simple matter, it can be solved in a short time. After a long time, even mother and daughter are prone to problems. In this case, the grandmother who is caught in the middle is both inside and outside.
Mentality is the foundation, and bringing a baby is also a kind of spiritual cultivation.
However, under the premise of taking care of grandchildren, as an old man, we must first take care of ourselves. Only when we have a good attitude and good health can we help our children take good care of them.
Helping children with their children is a concerted effort of Qi Xin, not a process of fighting for the right to speak or the authority of elders.
In life, there are often some old people who judge their children's lives by their age in the process of taking care of their children, knowing that they are under the eaves of others after all.
Having rules and boundaries is the key to avoiding contradictions.
It is difficult to get along with others, not to mention there is a child who is not very sensible in the middle. It is even more difficult to involve a series of issues such as parenting and education.
In the process of helping children take care of their babies, there must be rules and boundaries to avoid unnecessary conflicts.
Let's sit together, talk about the places that are prone to conflict in advance, formulate some rules, and reach some understanding or solution. This can avoid a lot of unnecessary trouble.
Don't be stingy with praise, anyone needs affirmation.
As an old man, in the process of helping children with their children, we must sincerely praise them when we find their advantages. Similarly, it is not easy for children and the elderly to take care of children. They hope to get sincere affirmation and recognition from their children.
Getting along needs more positive, positive and harmonious atmosphere.
Children are comfortable, the elderly are comfortable, and everyone is in a good mood, so that they can have a more positive attitude and face the trivial things in parenting and life.
For children, it is the greatest blessing for the elderly to help themselves. Keeping a grateful heart may avoid most contradictions and keep parents from chilling.