Xiao Song is my best friend. She and Ronaldinho have had a crush on each other since high school. Later, Ronaldinho was admitted to the university, and she stayed to study again. Ronaldinho always runs back from the provincial capital to the county seat to meet Yi Song. Later, Xiao Song was admitted to a university in another city and started a long-distance relationship. Ronaldinho stayed in Zhengzhou after graduation, while Song was admitted to the graduate school of Yunnan University. For love, Ronaldinho resigned and went to Yunnan just to be with her. They got married and had two children. Later, Ronaldinho's career developed to Hunan, and they moved to Hunan together.
Their love from their school days has touched many friends. However, Xiao Song said to me, "I want to be completely separated from him. Two children, he brought the big one and I brought the small one. " I thought it was a hard day, so I comforted her, but she said, "I've been thinking about it for many years, but I've only been brewing it in my heart for many years, and I haven't implemented it." Now I finally have the courage. "
Why do you want to separate after giving birth to two children? The long-standing problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has separated love. Ronaldinho's parents are rural people, and he has a younger brother. When he married Xiao Song, his husband's family didn't help him buy a house. They go from Zhengzhou to Kunming and then to Changsha. Each city is a different place. Under the condition of renting a house, Xiao Song has a child, and her husband's family can't help. As a result, Xiao Song became a full-time mother before she started working after graduation. Husband is responsible for making money, and Xiao Song takes care of the baby alone. Everyone knows the hard work of taking care of children. A modern family, a child and four adults still feel tired, let alone being alone or in a foreign land. Xiao Song worked hard, but Ronaldinho's parents were ungrateful. They think it's all because Xiao Song went to a remote place and his son couldn't be filial. The first child was finally taken to the age of three, and he can go to kindergarten. Xiao Song is pregnant with a second child. Her maternal love flooded and she decided to have children. So I continued to be a full-time mother until my child was two years old. How hard it is for a mother to bring up two children! During the period, my mother-in-law took care of it for a while. But my mother-in-law quarrels every day. Xiao Song disliked her mother-in-law's inability to educate, eating with her mouth, cooking without paying attention to hygiene, and let her mother-in-law go home after a few months.
On such a difficult day, Ronaldinho did not give Song enough comfort. In his opinion, hard work is also very tiring. His mother kept talking about his wife's fault, making him wonder if he shouldn't have run away from home for love and made him live harder than others. Under such psychological hints, the feelings of the two people are getting worse and worse. In addition to taking care of the trivial matters in life, the two people had no passion for love at first, and they were more bored and complained to each other. Xiao Song pinned all his hopes on his two children, took good care of them, got emotional comfort, but became increasingly indifferent to Ronaldinho. The river of their feelings gradually dried up.
Another pair of friends, Lao Yan and Aya, are my college classmates. Lao Yan is from Hubei, and his parents are farmers. Aya is a native of Northeast China and the only daughter in the city. Lao Yan got good grades and was a class cadre. He chased Aya fiercely. After they fell in love, Laoyan took good care of Aya. After graduation, Lao Yan went to Guangzhou to make a lot of money. Aya followed Lao Yan to Guangzhou under the pressure of her parents to let her go back to the Northeast. Lao Yan worked hard and soon bought a house in Guangzhou and married a beautiful Aya. They gave birth to a big fat boy. Considering that Aya is an only child, he took his parents-in-law to Guangzhou and bought them a house. However, at this moment, a quarrel in front of her parents-in-law made Aya take her son and follow her parents-in-law back to her hometown in Northeast China, leaving him only a divorce agreement.
What caused their divorce? Only through chatting did I know that since my parents-in-law went to Guangzhou to help take care of their children, their marriage began to have a qualitative change. Aya has a tense relationship with her parents. Her parents believe in stick education and are used to bossing their daughters around. Aya has always dared to be angry and dare not speak, only to listen to her grievances. Seeing this relationship, Lao Yan sympathized with Aya. He will warn Aya not to listen to her parents-in-law, and then be very critical of her parents-in-law, hoping that the old man will realize his mistake. However, after a long time, the old man complained to his daughter that Lao Yan was wrong. Aya has conflicts with her parents, but she doesn't want Laoyan to have conflicts with her parents. So Aya stood by her parents, and Laoyan became an enemy at home.
In order to ease the family relationship, he bought a house for the elderly to live in, and even wrote Aya's name on the real estate license. However, a complaint from his parents-in-law about his poor decoration suddenly made Lao Yan out of control, and he suddenly broke out his long-standing views on his wife and parents-in-law. When he woke up, it was too late. His words deeply hurt everyone's heart.
These two feelings, especially let me feel. Perhaps in your opinion, the failure of their marriage is due to mutual intolerance, being in a foreign country, not being blessed by their parents and so on. All the above points have some truth. However, I think that in marriage, the most important principle is that the relationship between husband and wife is always greater than the blood relationship. This blood relationship refers to both the elderly and the children.
In this era, many of us are like Lao Yan or Xiao Song, wandering in a strange big city and struggling with the same wandering lover. Maybe they have a successful career, a house and a car, but they are all under pressure more or less. When we have children, we must call the old people to help take care of them. However, under the pressure of big cities, if we can't handle the relationship with the elderly and children well, the relationship between husband and wife will be unbalanced or even worse.
Neither Song nor Ronaldinho is rich. Both of them are under full pressure to make money and take care of their children. When the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law was tense, Ronaldinho did not stand on his wife's side to defend her, but stood on his mother's side and accused her of being wrong, which greatly wronged Xiao Song. She can only pin her feelings on her children, so Ronaldinho can't feel his wife's love, so he doesn't love back, and their feelings are drying up. The life of Lao Yan and Aya is relatively stable, but when the relationship between Lao Yan and her parents-in-law is tense, Aya Ming knows that the original intention of Lao Yan against her parents-in-law is to hope that she will not be wronged. But her long-term obedience in front of her parents has made her stand on the side of her parents, and the kind old Yan has become an enemy. When the spring is pressed to the limit, it will inevitably rebound out of control. Lao Yan's anger of hiding a knife hit the most fragile weakness of marriage.
If these two couples can keep in mind the principle that the relationship between husband and wife is greater than blood relationship in their feelings, they will not push their love to the wall. In reality, we often see husbands (wives) favoring their parents and wronged their wives (husbands), and wives (husbands) doting on their children and ignoring their lovers. In fact, in front of children, the best education for parents is to love as always; In front of the elderly, the best filial piety of children is the harmony between husband and wife. When the relationship between husband and wife is handled well, the blood relationship will complement each other.
In the process of blind date, if you meet someone you like, you may wish to reach an agreement with him or her on the principle that the relationship between husband and wife is greater than the blood relationship. Because, in this era, there are too many examples of divorce and breakup because of putting the cart before the horse!
This?