Countless times, I thought I should be brave and truly express my true voice, but how many times, I still dare not. There is a sense of inferiority in my heart, which makes me feel particularly strange and afraid to approach. The closer I get, the more afraid I am of losing. I stand in the distance and pay attention, at least my hope is still there.
The first person I noticed when I entered X Company was you. I'm sitting next to Viagra for the time being before arranging the work station. Looking around, I saw a simple Mac, red headphones, and that face looked like a child (a child is the person who knows me best in all my friends' lives, and even one eye can guess what I am thinking. Even if I keep denying it and cover it up with various interfaces and topics, I can admit in my heart that he really knows.
When Brother Kang Long introduced you to me as a technical manager, I was surprised that you became a leader at such a young age, and you were more admired and yearning in your heart. Because I also imagine that one day I can become a mainstay in my work. I don't remember how I introduced myself at that time, but I'm sure I must be shy, because I was even less confident at that time. Although I have been working for a year, I have been labeling myself as a fresh graduate and inferior. I still clearly remember that the leader said that you were single, and there was a little relief in my heart. I feel really good for someone who has never been infatuated with the opposite sex.
On the first day of employment, I still remember clearly that you said in that dark staircase that you went to Malaysia on 1 1. I was quiet at the dinner table where Brother Kang cooked for me. I still remember brother Guang Xiao jokingly introducing himself and his marriage. Brother Kang Long said that I can introduce you directly, because they are all fathers. I still smiled and said nothing, knowing that you are all leaders and you are just a soldier. The soldier's fear and reluctance to let go of the leader that day fell on me. Listening to the food you criticized, I just looked up and smiled from time to time, but I dared not eat it. In fact, I have been thinking about why I am afraid of you and why I am so humble. I finally found an excuse for myself and blamed myself for being weak. I still remember that I just forgot the rice wine that Brother Kang Long brought from my hometown. When Brother Kang invited me to join the R&D group, I grabbed the biggest red envelope. Although the amount is not large, I am still very happy. I don't remember anything else. ...
As a girl who has the most contact with you for work reasons in the whole department, it is more of an honor in my heart. I used to listen to the girl cheerleading team led by the captain to discuss you. Many times, you are everyone's topic. The story of you and joy chen ... the story of you and Yang Jie ... the story of you and XX ... all say that you are a career-oriented man, and your life is too biased towards work, too rational, not so accessible and not so approachable. Everyone thinks you are a man. However, no one has ever said anything about finding a boy like you to spend the rest of my life with. Everyone has all kinds of topics every day. When he first came, he didn't know what was going on and didn't participate in the discussion. He just listened to everyone's discussion and laughed until joy chen left. . . Since then, we have talked less and less about your topic, but I have been in contact with you more at work, and I am beginning to understand. You are an admirable person at work, but your self-confidence is in sharp contrast with my inferiority complex. I'm afraid to discuss this problem with you because I'm afraid I'll be hanged at any time. I still clearly remember that the first demand I put forward was WeChat payment. At that judging meeting, Kang Ge reminded me. I remember when you gave me the timetable. At that time, your answer was simple, so do it. Later, Kang Ge told me that this was a euphemism. From then on, I never dare to assert the workload of development for every demand I put forward, because I understand that this is respect for development, which is also the first growth point of my new job (in fact, this demand has always been on wiki and has never been online). Later, I had more contact at work, and communication was smooth, but in my heart, I always felt that my status was lower than yours and I had never been equal. I always cooperate with you with an upward attitude, and I try my best to control myself so that we can cooperate happily. In fact, I used to be a girl who refused to admit defeat in her bones.
Slowly, I get to know you better and better. Actually, I think you are also very accommodating. I used to feel ashamed to change the demand, and I dared to ask you to change the demand. But you are also confident and can't convince your problem. You will never give in. I still remember the logic of charging. I remember looking for you several times, and finally invited Kang Ge out of the mountain, but I didn't convince you after all (but I changed this demand when Wang Qing took over, and I felt a little more proud of it), but you also have a fatal weakness, that is, you will unconditionally carry out what you took above. I was a little unaccustomed before, but later I attributed this to your rich experience to make myself look more open, because I sometimes get a little stubborn. Later, I became a little dependent on you, and I wanted you to check every demand. I'm worried that there will be problems if I don't recognize the demand after going online. Do you have any unsolved problems? In fact, I should be able to solve many problems, but only if I have spiritual support. You and brother kang are the spiritual pillars of my work. What I admire most about you is that you can solve the mystery in three or two sentences every time, but I can't turn the corner for some problems. Every time I am at a loss, I admire you more and more.
There was a time when Dick and Cowboy said, "Do you know I'm waiting for you?" My headphones are ringing. When you sit in front of me, you will feel inexplicable sense of security and relief. Sometimes I look up and see you, and the lyrics are appropriate. I think the distance is not bad. Maybe one day I will really like you. However, although I was a little touched at that time, I dare not admit that I really like you. I always thought you were special. Later, I felt more and more that you and I didn't have the tacit understanding of raising children and couldn't be friends. But in my heart, I don't just want to be friends in my life. Although I have never had a boy's heart, I can feel that I am different from you. Before getting along with them, I labeled them as friends. This label can't be crossed, but I don't want to label you like them. Because I'm afraid that once I post it, I can't cross it anymore. Every time I see your familiarity with Bingqing, I am more envious in my heart, but I know it very well. If I am as pure as ice, then we will always be friends, and I am afraid to approach you slowly. In fact, I don't know whether to approach you in my own role. Our communication will always stay at work. But as long as you are in sight, you will feel at ease. Sometimes I always ask myself what it feels like to like in my mind, because I never know what it feels like to like, but I just feel that I care about you, hope to pay attention to you, and hope to be closer to you, but I never think about what it feels like to miss you if you disappear one day. I don't know.
Once, I added your QQ to meet the needs of Lacarra. I saw your previous status and logged into QQ. I feel that the gap between you in my eyes and you reflected in QQ status is obvious. You are very serious at work. I don't think any girl can make fun of you except Bing Bing. You're basically not close to the people below. You have your own circle, and we belong to ours. Apart from work, we basically didn't intersect and even showed sympathy. And you also have a sentimental side in life. Seeing your state in college, seeing your youth at work, and seeing your travel notes written in the running account all make me feel that you are not as serious as you seem, but your feelings in my heart are really serious. I always feel that I know you a little better with these things, but I never have the courage to know you, but I know that you are good friends when I see Wang Qing in your space.
I haven't spoken to Wang Qing before. The first real communication was in the expansion activities organized by Xiao Mingge after he took office. I was lucky enough to be assigned to a group with Kang Longge and Wang Qing, but Kang Longge, the captain, ran out of the game and could only let Wang Qing play the role of captain. Although we lost miserably every time, we still finished the most difficult moment ahead. Excellent completion is the first cooperation with Wang Qing. He gave me the impression that he was him. In the end, what I didn't expect was that Wang Qing finally came to the mall as a technical manager and became a partner in the most difficult time. We survived the hardest time in the mall together, thanks to him.
Contact with Wang Qing has changed from familiarity to being able to spit slowly. Wang Qing gave me an approachable feeling and was happy to cooperate with him. Every time after the meeting, we will spit in the meeting room for a while, until one day Brother Xiaoming talks to us alone. After that, we stopped vomiting, and Wang Qing didn't say anything. After that sensitive period, I feel that we are back to the beginning and can have a good talk, but since then, we have been spitting on the content. Getting your information from Wang Qing slowly, knowing that you are leaving at the earliest, is really hard to accept, because for myself, the goal is to get close to you and try to catch up with you. I once fantasized about studying and losing weight according to this rhythm. On my birthday this year, I can correct my hunchback and lose weight successfully, so I must speak my mind bravely. More often, I worry that you are not single, even if you are not single. But you don't like me. After the New Year, you began to control your diet and exercise, trying to lose weight. I think you should like thinner girls, but there is still some time to go before my goal. I suddenly heard that Xiao Ming was leaving that day, and then I vaguely felt that you were leaving from your daily performance. I had 10 thousand hopes that you could stay, but I really knew in my heart that you must leave. I want to express my thoughts countless times, but I'm afraid we still need to get along at work after being rejected by you. Sometimes I feel that I must tell you on the last day of leaving my job, and sometimes I want to leave my job early to get rid of it, but the end result is that your encouragement has kept me going for so long. In fact, I have been thinking about leaving since I first joined XX. In the first three months, I was full of this idea every day, but I saw Brother Kang being busy. I can't bear to really let go. With my attention to you, I can't let go more and more. I want to stay, get better step by step, get closer to you step by step, but I still find you out of reach.
You are still the excellent you, so far away, I don't know what kind of mentality to face you, and I don't know how to approach you. For this relationship, I don't know how to end it.