Guided learning begins with reflection.
Ms. Ren from Taiyuan asked: The children are not interested in learning in the first day, and their grades are very poor. He is unwilling to communicate with his parents on his own initiative. I wanted to learn, but I didn't realize it. Parents think their children should be able to do it, but the children themselves say they can't. Is it a problem of learning methods or psychological problems?
Wang Ailing, an associate researcher at Shaanxi Academy of Educational Sciences, pointed out that the stage of middle school education is the most critical and distinctive period in a person's life, and it is also the beginning of the golden age. As parents of students, we should seize the opportunity to guide children correctly and help them adapt to study and life.
1. Reflect on whether your expectations for children are too high. There are differences between people. If it is beyond the child's ability, it will not be easy to achieve, and it will cause unnecessary psychological harm to the child, thus dampening the child's self-confidence. With the enhancement of children's self-awareness, parents should pay more attention to the ways and strategies of education. We should respect children, guide them more, encourage them more, praise them more, criticize them less, and be sarcastic or sarcastic. Parents make a comprehensive analysis of their children's performances after the first day of junior high school, communicate with their children as soon as possible, find points that are beneficial to their growth and "knots" that are not conducive to their growth, and help them in a targeted manner.
2. Think about whether the child lacks self-motivation. Parents should pay more attention to their children's personality and psychology. They can find a classmate whose children are very familiar with and let them compare their own advantages and disadvantages. Only when children affirm their own advantages can they regain their confidence and find their own shortcomings, and it is possible to make targeted efforts in these areas and surpass each other. The child succeeded, so we might as well find a new comparison object. Over time, when children always have a clear goal in their actions, they can constantly compare their actions with their goals, and then clearly know their distance from their goals, and the motivation for action will be maintained and strengthened, and they will consciously overcome difficulties and strive to achieve their goals.
3. Insist on ideal education and moral cultivation for children. The stage of middle school education is a very favorable opportunity to cultivate moral character, and provide children with role models of heroes and scientists and related materials, so that they can become role models on the road to growth. At the same time, we should realize that moral quality is always developing and changing in a person's life, so we should also prevent children from going downhill. The main way for middle school students to acquire knowledge is in the classroom, but extracurricular activities supplement and broaden classroom knowledge. Parents should create conditions to stimulate children's thirst for knowledge and exploration, read more extracurricular books, visit places of interest, do some interesting experiments, broaden their horizons, enlighten their wisdom, and cultivate their habit of independent thinking and creative thinking ability.
4. Help children form good living habits and behavior habits. Good living and behavior habits are of great significance to students' study and life. Let children form the habit of working and sleeping on time. Some sleep late at night, and some don't even rest at noon. Lack of sleep will naturally make them mentally ill, and the effect of class will certainly not be good, so help children improve their sleep quality.
5. According to children's existing learning situation, combined with children's learning conditions and environment, help children learn some learning methods suitable for children, so that children can gradually form their own learning methods. For example, preview before class, listen to lectures in class, summarize and review after class, grasp key points and break through difficulties, and so on.
While adopting the above strategies, another important factor can not be ignored, that is, creating a good learning environment for children. Family members should live in harmony and have a strong atmosphere of study and discussion at home, so that children can sit still at home and be willing to learn, thus opening up a broad world for their intellectual development in the "golden age".
How should parents deal with children's truancy?
In the middle school education stage, perhaps every class has had such children, who often play truant and openly violate the school rules and regulations. Many parents and teachers criticized and educated him. The most heartbreaking thing is that they give up the most important responsibility of students, that is, learning. Children's truancy and truancy are manifestations of weariness and fear of learning. Most children who play truant or truant have a hard time studying. Maybe they don't know anything in class, don't do their homework after class, or don't do their homework at all, or even copy other people's homework. Sometimes teachers complain to parents, and parents are angry, and may be responsible or scold their children. These children have a headache when they listen to their studies, so they can temporarily escape from truancy and relax for a while. Some people wander in the street, some people play interesting things (such as video games), some people may run away from home, and some people want to give up their studies and go out to work. In fact, the situation of these children is very uncomfortable, both irritating and pitiful.
Children can't keep up with their studies, which is not caused by a day or two. Most of them have not formed the habit of learning since childhood, muddling along, with poor knowledge and skills, and have not mastered learning methods. Parents have the responsibility, so do school teachers. To solve the problem of children playing truant, both home and school must cooperate.
From the perspective of parents, we should consider the following solutions:
First, admit that you have made mistakes in education, have not worked hard to cultivate children's study habits since childhood, and have a blunt attitude and method of education. On the basis of self-reflection, parents should have two or three heart-to-heart talks with their children, review their own shortcomings, listen to their children's ideas, and make up their minds with their children to catch up bit by bit. Parents should never treat their children in the simple and rude way before. Parents' attitude is also an important factor in children's transformation.
Second, ask teachers, discuss with children, analyze children's main problems, and take targeted measures. Children's learning situation should be analyzed by subjects, and the learning attitude, methods and specific contents of the worst subjects should be carefully analyzed. The more accurate the question, the better.
Third, "pair up" with children who have studied well. It is necessary to discuss with teachers and choose students who have a communication foundation with children and can help others to be small teachers. When necessary, take the children to each other's home and solemnly declare to their parents. In order not to add too much burden to "right", we should have specific requirements for children, such as "read it yourself first, don't know before asking", "do it yourself first, where won't ask again", "preview before class, find out the difficulties, and listen attentively in class" and so on. Without enthusiasm and initiative, children can't rely entirely on others.
Fourth, please have a tutor. If the child is not good at science, break through one or two first. Discuss with the teacher and find a tutor to make up lessons for the children on weekends. Please invite more experienced teachers. Before inviting a teacher, children should be fully psychologically prepared and not dependent. We should adjust the relationship between children and teachers.
5. Parents and children study together. Some children's weariness of learning is related to their parents' lack of knowledge. These parents should change their thinking, learn something seriously, learn their children's homework or learn another knowledge. Parents and children arrange the same study time and have mutual supervision and inspection measures.
Parents' persecution leads to children's rebellion.
The psychological counseling center received a phone call from parents: "Now my children are particularly rebellious and can't listen to anything, especially at school. If you ask him, he will definitely be anxious with you. " Mr. and Mrs. Wang are very busy at work at ordinary times, so they leave their children to their grandparents to take care of them, that is, they ask their children how their grades are after they come out. Almost every time they ask questions, there will be conflicts. For children who refuse to obey their own discipline, Mr Wang Can only turns to psychologists for help.
Find out the crux of the lack of family education.
In school education, if children are disobedient, become irritable, lose their temper, and refuse to accept the management of parents, parents should not blindly blame their children, but should reflect on themselves. Why do children behave like this in school education, and they also have certain responsibilities in school education? Experts at the psychological counseling center say that many children's rebellions in the process of middle school education are forced out by their parents.
The expectation of some parents that "Tsinghua goes to Peking University" makes the children in school education overwhelmed; Some parents don't show up at work all day, leaving their children hanging aside; Some parents' daily management makes children eager to escape this kind of intervention; Children who grow up under the care of single-parent families or grandparents are easy to seek through other channels because of their lack of security and cognition. Psychologists believe that the above situation is a manifestation of the lack of family education and school education. "Every child has his own independent thoughts and abilities. Parents should not only discipline their children according to their own ideas, but should take the initiative to understand their children's ideas and implement them in a targeted manner in order to get their approval. "
Seize the opportunity, the second day is a critical period for growth.
The second day of junior high school is a critical period for teenagers' psychological and physical development. Psychologists said that from the perspective of curriculum, the primary school curriculum is relatively simple, and the grades of all students in a class are not much different. But in junior high school, the course began to be difficult and the learning pressure became greater. The differences between students' grades and abilities are gradually emerging. Some underachievers began to give up on themselves because they couldn't understand the course content. From the perspective of making friends, junior high school is a stage in which children's psychology changes from immature to mature. They think they have the ability to judge good and evil independently, so they start to build a mixed social circle with no choice. If someone in the circle misbehaves, it will also affect the child's physical and mental development.
Psychological counselors reminded that at this stage, in addition to academic performance, parents should pay more attention to their children's psychological growth, and long-term equal communication is effective. You can get close to your children by traveling together, participating in activities and doing sports together. Only in this way can we understand their current situation and find and correct bad problems in time. In addition, Wang Xiqin reminded parents not to care about their children's grades only after each exam, which would only be counterproductive.
Set a good example for parents to improve their self-cultivation
Some children don't communicate with their parents and think that their parents are behind the times. Many parents who know don't. Psychologists say that parents need to strengthen their study and cultivation. For example, parents' classes offered by some schools can provide parents with learning conditions and sort out their learning direction.
Parents should set an example and always pay attention to their own and their children's behavior. Especially during holidays, some bad habits of students are most likely to form. Parents should pay attention to whether there are hidden dangers in their children's friends and entertainment during this period. At the same time, when children do something wrong, parents can't be willful, and beating and cursing alone can't solve the problem. They should manage education purposefully and explain the seriousness and harmfulness of things to children. Another point is to actively cooperate with school teachers and coordinate management. Through communication with teachers, we can understand and tap children's interests, cultivate children's self-esteem and establish their sense of responsibility. At the same time, when children make progress, parents should also give spiritual rewards appropriately.
The common psychological problems of middle school students are mainly manifested in the following aspects:
worried
In the middle school education stage, children are withdrawn, unhappy, depressed, pessimistic and talkative, and are not interested in learning, activities and some contacts. The reason for this is that children are introverted and usually have no hobbies. Secondly, it may be because of family changes, lack of care since childhood, and I can't feel the warmth of my family. Third, they have suffered a serious blow or have serious physical defects; Fourth, after entering colleges and universities, I encountered many difficulties, and my grades were low, so I couldn't get a fair evaluation.
snappish
The child went to middle school and gradually entered adolescence. At this time, children are more competitive, emotional and excited. However, because the child's psychology is still immature, his mood fluctuates greatly, and his self-control is poor, he can't treat things rationally and calmly, and he is prone to impatience and impulsiveness. Impatient children are often extreme and emotional, and often quarrel and fight with others because of trivial matters, and even embark on the road of crime.
sensitive
Such children are very sensitive to external things. They are very concerned about what others think of them. They are also cautious and indecisive. They like to think. The analysis and inference of the problem is not based on reality, but on subjective speculation. Generally speaking, if children don't have good interpersonal relationships, are timid and lack joy, their academic performance will be greatly affected.
Lack of desire
It mainly means that children lack interest in many activities and cannot take the initiative to participate.
lonely
They are self-centered, so they will become unsociable, like to be alone, and form psychological problems such as psychological atresia and indifference.
confused
It refers to the psychological state of being at a loss about things or a reality and losing judgment because you can't tell right from wrong.
Expert advice from psychological counseling center
In view of the common psychological problems of the above middle school students, relevant experts suggest that parents and teachers should pay attention to their children's physical health. First of all, they should ask children to arrange their daily life reasonably and scientifically, and pay attention to the combination of work and rest, so as to effectively protect the health of the brain and nervous system. Secondly, help children adjust their emotions. In addition, pay attention to cultivate children's cheerful, easy-going, enthusiastic, confident and brave personality. Finally, children should be encouraged to participate in more beneficial activities to adjust their spiritual life, cultivate their sentiment, exercise their will and cultivate harmonious interpersonal relationships. At the same time, children should be encouraged to make friends, contact feelings, exchange information, learn from each other and help each other, which is of great benefit to cultivating healthy personality.
Understanding of mental health education in primary and secondary schools
Strengthening mental health education in primary and secondary schools is an inevitable requirement to adapt to the increasingly fierce competition in the 2/KLOC-0 century and to cultivate hundreds of millions of high-quality workers and tens of millions of specialized talents to meet the requirements of modernization.
In recent years, many parts of the country have actively explored the development of mental health education for primary and secondary school students, and many regions and schools have done a lot of work in this regard and made great achievements. For example, Beijing, Shanghai, Shijiazhuang and other places have formed a certain scale in developing mental health education for primary and secondary school students, and established a relatively complete system in terms of organization and leadership, team building, education and scientific research, and forms and ways. However, from a national perspective, this work is still uneven, and most primary and secondary schools have not carried out this education work because of the constraints of educational concepts and objective conditions.
At present, the main tasks of mental health education in primary and secondary schools are: first, to carry out mental health education for all students, to enhance students' ability to resist setbacks and adapt to the environment, and to cultivate students' sound personality and good individual psychological quality; Second, provide counseling for a few students who have psychological troubles or psychological barriers. According to the characteristics of students' psychological development and the law of physical and mental development, carry out targeted education; All students need to have a positive understanding of mental health education and gradually improve their psychological quality through popularizing educational activities; We should pay attention to individual differences and carry out various forms of education and counseling according to the different needs of different students; We should take students as the main body and fully stimulate and mobilize the enthusiasm of students. The implementation of mental health education should run through the whole process of school education. In addition to using relevant classroom education content for education, it is more important to carry out various forms of activities and counseling. At the same time, establish communication channels between school education and family psychological education, and form an educational environment conducive to the healthy development of students' body and mind.
In a person's life, middle school is an important stage of life growth and a critical period of mental health development. However, in the face of the intensification of social competition, the limitations of education and the weakening of family education, many middle school students have various psychological troubles and obstacles to varying degrees, which have affected their healthy development. Therefore, we should attach importance to students' mental health education. In educational work, we should not only stay at the level of understanding and analyzing problems, but also be able to solve problems, so that mental health education has practical significance.
Through exploration, I think the mental health education in schools should start from the following two aspects.
First, create a good atmosphere and create a healthy growth environment.
The creation of psychological atmosphere is the starting point of implementing mental health education, a pacemaker to activate or awaken students' psychological activities, and an external factor to induce students to take positive actions. Creating a relaxed, harmonious and democratic educational atmosphere can enable students to develop in a healthy environment.
1, establish a class group of unity, mutual assistance, harmony and friendship. Carry out activities of mutual assistance, mutual learning and mutual love in the class, so that students can get to know each other better, trust each other and establish equal and friendly classmate relations. Give help to students with difficulties and shortcomings in an equal and sincere manner, so that they can feel happy and relaxed at school, enhance their confidence, stimulate their curiosity, and make them bravely face difficulties and setbacks, understand, respect and tolerate others; Let every student get involved.
2. Create a relaxed and pleasant learning environment. A good classroom psychological environment is a powerful guarantee for high-quality teaching. Psychological research shows that a harmonious and pleasant atmosphere helps students to actively participate in classroom activities, while a tense and indifferent atmosphere will greatly inhibit students' enthusiasm for learning. Then, how to reduce or eliminate students' psychological pressure in learning and cultivate students' good learning mentality? The author believes that in teaching, teachers should play the role of a good guide, organizer and collaborator, create the best classroom atmosphere, let students fully display themselves, and let students learn well, well and easily. This not only improves students' interest, confidence and courage in learning, but also cultivates their spirit of cooperation and exploration.
3. Carry out colorful, active and healthy practical activities. Students can't understand their own psychological phenomena because of their limited knowledge level, and they are even more afraid of others knowing when problems arise. Therefore, actively carrying out some extracurricular activities related to mental health education and consultation is conducive to cultivating students' healthy psychology. For example, we can guide students to write diaries and weekly notes, have telephone conversations and psychological consultations, set up "whisper" mailboxes, have spiritual conversations with them, find out students' psychological problems in time and provide targeted group counseling or individual counseling. In addition, it can also be combined with class meetings and practical activities in schools to improve students' ability to adapt to social and psychological adjustment.
Second, pour sincere love into teachers and lay a solid psychological foundation for students.
Suhomlinski once made such a vivid and appropriate metaphor for the relationship between cognition and emotion: "Emotion is like fertile land, and the seeds of knowledge are scattered on this land." On the other hand, without the "fertile soil" of "emotion", the fruit of "good development" will not bear fruit. I think: every child's spiritual world is a unique, very durable and difficult book to read. Teachers need to understand with wisdom and reason, interpret with understanding and tolerance, and influence with sincere love in order to bear the fruit of "good development".
1, treat each other as equals and cross the "generation gap". The new curriculum reform requires teachers to change their roles, change their condescending authoritative mentality and shorten the "mental journey" between teachers and students. In such an atmosphere where personality is respected, emotions are understood, behaviors are encouraged and efforts are affirmed, students can fully release their potential creativity, express their thoughts and feelings without any worries, and naturally show their confusion and doubts. When students' personality has room for publicity, they will walk into teachers, talk with teachers and become friends, laying a solid foundation for their sound development.
2, pour true love and promote internalization. Teachers should pay attention to those students who have various shortcomings, and pay more attention to students with psychological obstacles. Because these students are often depressed, unbalanced, withdrawn and psychologically fragile for one reason or another.
When students encounter things that are not satisfactory, they will have bad emotions and have a certain impact on their study and life. How to minimize this negative impact? I think teachers should have a deep understanding of students, be good at communicating with students, often have heart-to-heart talks and exchanges with students, listen to their inner feelings, feel their inner world, care for and care for each student with sincere love, so that their hearts can be pinned and their spirits can be relied on. When students need care and help, teachers should lend a helping hand in time, so that students' young hearts can be encouraged and students can believe that they can do it, and gradually form a good psychological quality.
How to improve children's self-confidence before college entrance examination
I quit before the college entrance examination.
The parents whose net name is "Afeng" said that in the middle school education stage, her daughter was in a key senior three, and her grades were average, and her test scores were around 500%. Usually, my daughter studies very hard, but her performance has always been a bit abnormal recently. After getting up in the morning, she is always reluctant to go to school. She eats slowly and doesn't want to review her lessons after school at night. She just watches TV and then goes to bed. Moreover, my daughter often says that her grades are not good because she didn't repeat, and other students did better than herself after repeating.
Later, parents chatted with their daughter, only to know that her daughter was depressed because she didn't do well in the mock exam recently. My daughter said there was no hope this year, and I couldn't get into a good school no matter how hard I tried. I might as well take the exam after I repeat next year. I'm sure I can get into a good school. The daughter's idea makes parents don't know how to deal with it.
Beautiful lies encourage daughters.
The questions thrown by "An Autumn Wind" have made many parents in the QQ group hooked up. The daughter of netizen "Lingshan" is studying in Nankai Middle School. She pretended to be ill and didn't go to school two months ago, but she solved her daughter's confusion with her clever trick.
"Lingshan" told the experts in the psychological counseling center on QQ: "In March this year, my daughter also said that she didn't want to take the exam, and she came back to pretend to be sick and wanted to repeat next year. After repeated inquiries, I made it clear that she thought it was unlikely to take the exam this year, so she had no confidence. " In this regard, "Lingshan" told her while decompressing her daughter that even if she had to repeat her studies, she would take the college entrance examination this year, at least a mock exam, so that she could learn about the college entrance examination. If you don't take the exam this year, won't you be more nervous next year?
"Lingshan" analyzed her daughter's psychological motivation, fearing that she would not be admitted to a good university and could not find a job in the future. So he made up a lie: "I have found your job, so don't worry about failing the exam." As a result, this lie really untied the doll's heart. She is much more cheerful now, and her study is much easier. "
"The college entrance examination is coming, but my daughter suddenly becomes lazy. Every day, she said that she would repeat her studies for one year and then enter a good university. What should I do? " Yesterday, in the college entrance examination QQ group, some parents asked everyone for urgent help.
Children should be encouraged not to give up.
"In the face of such great college entrance examination pressure, it is normal for students to escape. There is only one thing parents have to do: encourage him to stick to it and never let him give up this year's college entrance examination. " Psychologist Chen Mou, a member of the QQ group expert group of the college entrance examination, said.
He said that even if parents have plans to let their children repeat their studies, they should not disclose them. They should encourage their children to experience a challenge and at least accumulate experience for next year's repeat reading.
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