When chatting with friends, my mother learned that their children had signed up for many training classes, but her own child Tao Tao only signed up for one art class. My mother is worried that the child will lose at the starting line. So, after many inquiries, she took the initiative to sign up for an English cram school in Tao Tao, which is scheduled to start every Saturday and Sunday. In the evening, when Tao Tao came home, her mother told him about it: "I arranged an English cram school for you." Starting from next month, you will have classes for two days on weekends. When Tao Tao heard this, he whispered, "Why didn't you tell me? I'm not going! " Then, he put his bag on the sofa and went back to his room angrily without eating.
My mother was shocked to see Tao Tao's reaction. In her mind, Tao Tao is an absolutely obedient boy. What happened to him this time? No matter how mother knocks at the door, Tao Tao doesn't answer. In the next two days, Tao Tao didn't talk to his mother, and they fell into a cold war. My mother felt that the problem could not be solved for a long time, so she took the initiative to show weakness and said, "Tao Tao, it is my mother's fault that I didn't discuss it with you in advance." However, English cram schools are very helpful for your English study. If you have a different idea, you can talk to your mother. My mother wants to hear your thoughts.
Tao Tao began to speak slowly at this moment. Mom, I know you want me to learn more. But have you forgotten? I have art class every Saturday. Painting is my favorite thing. Besides, you can't give up halfway, can you? "My mother remembered the class time in Tao Tao and apologized and said," Oh, sorry, my mother forgot. Then, let's have a good discussion-we can learn painting without delaying the timetable for learning English, shall we? Tao Tao is very grateful to her mother for her understanding. She and her mother discussed the course arrangement of the training course very well, and the relationship between mother and child became better. Psycholinguistic children need opportunities to express their feelings.
As can be seen from the above cases, children's rebellious behavior stems from their desire for parents' understanding. If parents communicate with their children more and listen to their confidences, they can establish a close relationship with their children, and children are naturally willing to cooperate with their parents. But in life, parents often help their children decide things by themselves, thinking that these things are also their favorite. As we all know, this kind of behavior not only deprives the child of his autonomy, but also breeds his idea of relying on others in the future, and even leads to his personality and psychological problems.
Therefore, giving children the right to speak and being children's listeners is a positive and healthy way of upbringing. In order to cultivate a mentally healthy child, parents must learn to listen to their children's voices, which is what every parent needs to learn. Listening to children's voices in the right way can get twice the result with half the effort. So, what are the correct ways to listen to children's voices?
1. Pay close attention.
When listening, parents should stop their work, give their children time and space to express their feelings and be a careful listener.
Be patient
After all, children are still young, so parents must listen to them patiently. Parents should listen patiently to their children's statements, whether they are wrong or clear.
3. Let the children finish their sentences
Sometimes, what children say may be aimless or even imaginary. Even so, parents should give their children enough time to finish their sentences.
4. Don't interrupt your child halfway.
When the child is talking, parents should not take it for granted that the child's words are unreasonable and interrupt the child's words, which will hurt the child's self-esteem and enthusiasm.
5. Pay attention to eye contact
When listening to children, we must pay attention to face-to-face communication with them and make eye contact with them as much as possible, which will unconsciously improve their enthusiasm.
6. Don't jump to conclusions
After the child said it, parents should not jump to conclusions and give the child more time to think.
7. Ask your children for advice
Let's take a look at the following example:
Daughter Lulu showed rebellious psychology very early. About 3 years old, I was very grumpy when I first entered the kindergarten class. I especially like to "go against my parents" at home. I invited her to dinner, and she insisted on playing with toys; I told her to take a bath, but she insisted on reading a picture book. I told her to go to bed, and she said to stay with my dad because he was still awake. As the mother of a child, I was at a loss for a moment. I called everywhere to ask about the "secret recipe", but I found nothing.
This is the rebellious psychology of children at work. With the development of self-awareness and the improvement of their ability to understand things, they will feel that they can do something, so they will conflict with their parents' educational views. But for parents, they feel that their children are against themselves. Parents should understand children's psychology, consider problems from the children's point of view, and help children solve problems, instead of blindly scolding and beating, trying to ease the contradiction between the two generations and improve children's rebellious psychology. Children suddenly become rebellious because parents have missed these questions.
(1) Change ideas and correctly understand children's rebellious psychology. Parents should respect their children, listen to their opinions, guide them through discussion and create a relaxed, free and harmonious environment for their development. When children have rebellious behavior, they should not be suppressed, but should be allowed to have such rebellious psychology to a certain extent, so as to achieve the purpose of seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages.
(2) Carefully analyze the reasons and make the best use of the situation. When children have rebellious behavior, they should avoid beating and cursing and behave simply. We should carefully analyze the reasons, reflect on our parenting style according to children's performance, and guide children to say what they have done and said. If justified and correct, encourage praise; If there is no reason, we should give guidance, clearly point out or guide the correction.
(3) Use games and entertainment to reform children's rebellious behavior. The rebellious psychology caused by different reasons should be transformed through different game modes.
So much for sharing.