When two people get married, they become close lovers from strangers, and also turn two unrelated small families into a big family.
Then the problem is coming. Although they are all family members, they will still be clearly divided. If your husband needs a lot of cash or a house at home, will you let his family give it to him unconditionally or settle accounts with his brothers?
02
Xiaomei, a reasonable woman, has been married to her husband for five years. She always thinks about everything. It can also be said that Xiaomei is a woman with high emotional intelligence.
Xiaomei's in-laws are also very kind to Xiaomei, because they always remember Xiaomei's kindness. When Xiaomei and her husband got married, her mother-in-law's family was very difficult, and her father-in-law had been hospitalized because of seeing a doctor, and she could not get the bride price at all.
Seeing the situation of her husband's family, Xiaomei immediately said to her mother-in-law: "Auntie, I made an arrangement with my parents. Forget the bride price. I will marry another 20 thousand to see my uncle. "
Xiaomei's mother-in-law was moved to tears at that time. She didn't know her daughter-in-law was so reasonable.
Xiaomei's husband also has a younger brother who is getting married soon, but the woman's family says she needs a house to live in and will never live with her mother-in-law.
Xiaomei's mother-in-law couldn't afford a house at all. Xiaomei's husband asked Xiaomei to discuss: "Wife, your mother's house is going to be demolished, so lend one to my brother." Xiaomei readily promised: "Yes, but you can't bully when you need a house in the future, because the house belongs to my parents."
The husband kept nodding and assured Xiaomei that her husband and mother-in-law would want a house and let her brother move out immediately. Although Xiaomei said so, she certainly wouldn't do it, because she was afraid of her husband's brother and wanted to have a house to live in, so she didn't work hard. That didn't hurt him.
She hopes that her husband's younger brother can get a satisfactory life through his own efforts.
03
Emotional analysis:
First of all, Xiaomei's approach is correct, because she knows that her life needs to be created with her own hands. She didn't just give the house to her husband and brother, but said that she would lend it to him temporarily. In this way, he will have a sense of urgency, keep working hard, earn money to support his family, and strive to buy his own house as soon as possible. This choice may be the best for his brother.
If Xiaomei directly gives the house to her younger brother, then, for him, it means getting something for nothing, and he won't understand the effort. Anyway, there will be a house, and you can enjoy it without hard work, so you will not work hard to earn money to support your family after marriage. This is undoubtedly hurting your brother. Therefore, Xiaomei's approach is the best and most correct for her younger brother.
Secondly, Xiaomei's husband is also at fault. His brother is a man and is getting married soon. He should know that everything should be obtained through his own efforts, rather than relying on the support of his family, so that he will never grow up and rely on his family forever.
As a husband, everything that belongs to his wife's family always doesn't belong to him, and he shouldn't chase them. He shouldn't let his wife go to the house where his parents-in-law want to remove compensation just because his brother needs a house for marriage. This is particularly incorrect and will hurt his brother to some extent. Therefore, Xiaomei's husband's practice is unreasonable.
Finally, if I am Xiaomei's husband's younger brother, I will work hard after getting married, strive to buy a house of my own as soon as possible, and then return this temporary house to Xiaomei's family so as not to disappoint my brother and sister-in-law. And will always remember their help to themselves.
One day, if they need themselves, they will go all out.
So, if you encounter this situation, please don't give him the house blindly. Although your initial intention is to make him better, you need to think about the methods he accepts. Let him know that nothing is easy to get, no matter what you need to get through your own efforts.
Today's topic: If you and your husband borrowed your house, would you agree?