Solomon, the ancient Jewish kingdom, was especially good at giving advice to others. If you have any difficult questions, ask Solomon and he will tell you what to do. Many people came to Solomon for advice from far away. Solomon's ideas are all set, and his suggestions really work. Solomon, what a clever man.
But Solomon made many wrong decisions in his life, such as indulging in feelings, bringing many beautiful women and showing off for money. He had only one son, but he didn't get a good education, so that after Solomon's death, his son became a tyrant.
Such a clever man can give advice to others all day, but his life is not easy. Psychologist Rothman called this phenomenon "Solomon Paradox".
A person speaks clearly about the meaning of life, but the relationship with colleagues is not good.
A person's working ability is particularly strong, especially when dealing with others, but his family life is very bad.
A person is reliable in private, but likes to talk nonsense online.
A person can show high wisdom in one aspect and at a certain moment, but on the other hand, he doesn't show wisdom.
The wisdom mentioned here includes the following aspects:
People's wisdom is closely related to the situation.
Someone did an experiment. First of all, some students are told to help others in the moral class. As a result, just after class, these students came out of the classroom and were not more willing to help than the average person when they really met someone in need. It is equal to saying that moral lessons are in vain. Some studies have found that philosophers who specialize in moral philosophy are no more moral than others when they do things themselves.
The man only said that he didn't do it. How to break this Solomon paradox?
Solomon paradox is not hopeless, and psychologist Grossman has tested several effective methods.
First, you should imagine what happened to yourself as what happened to others.
For example, Grossman did a study in which he asked subjects to imagine what they would do if their boyfriend or girlfriend cheated on him.
Many people say that they will break up immediately, but later they ask, what if your girlfriend's boyfriend or girlfriend is having an affair? How would you give him advice?
Questioner, the level of wisdom in the face of things when testing:
Do you need more information about this matter?
Do you need to know the background of this matter?
Do you want to consider the possibility of compromise? Think about each other's views?
What will happen after you deal with this matter? Can you imagine several different possibilities?
Test results: If this happens to others, your role is to give advice like Solomon, and you will show more wisdom, but if it happens to yourself, it is to make a quick decision in a rage and stop talking about wisdom.
Another way is to imagine what happened in front of you as what happened a year ago, and create a sense of distance in time.
Another way is to think of yourself as a teacher and the person you are dealing with in this matter as a child. In this way, in this imaginary unequal relationship, you can often show more wisdom.
These methods are to learn to jump out of the self-centered perspective and think more about others.
The real world is:
The real decision-making level should be improved in practice. Reading can improve your pattern, and doing exercises can determine your maturity.