I have a friend who is a famous foodie and looks very round. Let's call her Tangyuan first. Every time she sees food, her eyes will glow, as if she could destroy those delicacies with her eyes alone.
But she has been a little annoyed recently, and she is not even excited to see her favorite sea fishing. I believe you have this problem.
What kind of experience is it to have a "poisonous" friend around you?
Tell you all her bad ideas day and night. When you wake up in the morning, the sun shines all over the earth, and you look very happy, as a result, you see her complaint information as soon as you turn on your mobile phone. Monday was as busy as a war, and a glance at WeChat received her long and bitter love story. After a long time, you eat it. Not fragrant.
Tang Yuan said: Now as soon as I receive her news, I have an impulse to slam the phone. Sometimes I want to break up with her, but every time she tells me that I am her only friend and the most trusted person, if I leave her, no one will talk to her. I will continue to listen to her take out the mental garbage, because I feel sorry for her, but I am so depressed!
It's all for friends. There is also a negative energy mother-in-law in my family, who often puts on a smelly face worse than Guan Gong, plus dark skin and dark circles, and even feels a little scary.
She often takes pleasure in beating others to improve herself. Every time I drive the wrong way or can't remember the way, she will suddenly say something like "You are road blind" and "You must be out of your mind"?
This kind of internal and external attack has made her a little depressed recently, and nothing smells good. There are always people with negative energy around, what should I do?
You may feel that there is no solution. After all, so many articles are written about people who stay away from negative energy. However, it is useless, and there is still no escape.
I want to say, in fact, you may not understand the so-called "negative energy".
Let's make a distinction first. What is negative energy? We often think that negative energy is a feeling that makes you feel very consumed, absorbed and squeezed. Anyway, it's just hard.
In fact, negative energy is a negative emotion that we can't accept. If we extend it, we can say that all the emotions we can't accept are called negative energy.
For example, there are two people, one is too pessimistic and the other is too optimistic. They all despise each other. "Such a pessimistic person denies everything. If he is really tired with Ta, can't he be positive? " "Such an optimistic person can't accept the pessimistic side if he wants to find out the positive significance of everything?"
The so-called negative energy is our shadow, and the emotions we can't accept are all called negative energy.
0 1
Do you have a negative energy constitution?
Do you know that?/You know what? Do you know that?/You know what? Sometimes there are too many people who are not negative energy. It is possible that you are easily influenced by negative energy and will automatically attract such people.
Why is this happening? For example, there is a girl who lives in an derailed family. Grandpa cheated and aunt divorced. Although my parents didn't cheat, they quarreled as soon as they met. Dad seldom goes home and often drinks with friends.
Almost everyone around her has marriage problems and is full of negative energy.
Her mother is strong, but she is helpless in the face of her husband's incompetence. First she accused and abused, and then she cried that she was a miserable woman, found a timid husband, was unloved, and her life was very wronged.
So, my mother put all her hopes and life focus on her, as if she had lived for her all her life. Of course, this sentence can be reversed, and she must live for her mother in this life. Psychologically, this is called * * * life, and two people can't tell you from me.
She has also become particularly sensitive to other people's emotions, especially her mother's feelings. Slowly, she became her mother's only comfort.
You may think this child is really good, obedient and sensible, right?
But I feel sorry for her. A child who is too considerate and obedient actually sacrifices his ego to satisfy his parents.
In society, she has become a negative energy constitution without boundaries, always sacrificing herself, meeting the needs of others and understanding the grievances of others (of course, some people will become like their mothers, breaking through the boundaries of others and always complaining, hoping others will comfort themselves).
She is a person who has no self and has been suppressed since she was a child. When I was a child, my parents had just quarreled. My mother was in pain, but she wanted to go out to play. My mother would say, you are so heartless. Later, as long as she pursues her own needs, she will feel guilty.
Over time, she became too easy to absorb the negative energy of others, easily influenced by others' emotions, and unconsciously wanted to take care of others' feelings.
If other people's tone is too heavy and they are unhappy, she will feel very uncomfortable and feel related to herself, and then she will try many ways to appease others or want to stay away from this person.
If you are like this, it shows that your ego is not strong enough and pays too much attention to the outside. If you think the world is full of negative energy, then you may have a negative energy constitution. Although you hate negative energy, you are used to being with it.
02
What you reject attracts you.
If you are an optimistic person, I estimate that there is always a negative energy person around you.
Just like Secretary Dakang, he pursues positive energy all his life, is aboveboard, stresses morality and principles, and has always worked for the people, but his subordinates have always been corrupt.
Not entirely coincidental.
Everyone has a shadow, and the shadow is the part that he can't accept. For example, if you think that only positive energy and positive optimism are good, and you should always keep the score of 100, then negative energy will be rejected by you. You are a positive sunshine person, but there must be a negative energy person around you.
The shadow of positive energy is negative energy. Excessive pursuit of positive energy can only project negative energy to others.
This is true in life, and it is also true in feelings. You often see couples with opposite personalities, just like a couple. Men are stingy and women are generous and cheerful. She later regretted why she chose such a man, but she still couldn't live without it.
If you stay in a relationship and complain, and at the same time find various reasons to prove that you can't live without this relationship, it means that you are likely to benefit from this relationship.
So, what did she benefit from? Mean is actually her shadow. She can't accept herself like this. She can't do it. She can only find people who can do it. Being with such a person satisfies her shadow, but there will be rejection, so it is very tangled.
Just like Qu Xiaoyu and Dr. Zhao, Dr. Zhao asked, what do you like about me? Do you like my skin?
Qu Xiaoyu answered frankly, yes!
And this answer is to his taste, because he dare not live so honestly and directly. So after the last breakup, they got back together. Although Dr. Zhao thinks she is superficial and meaningful, he can't live without such a simple and straightforward demon.
Kong's frank and bold expression of love is exactly the true heart that Zhao Qiping dare not express. This is what attracts Dr. Zhao and even makes him sit up and take notice.
Why do complementary people attract each other? Because both sides have what the other needs, positive energy and negative energy are actually complementary. If you are positive, there may always be people with negative energy around you.
We have all labeled others, such as "not sensible", "too busy" and "stubborn", but have you ever thought about what kind of label you label each other, and you probably want to have the opposite label? For example, if you label the other person selfish, the opposite label is generous. In other words, you want everyone to agree that you are a generous person.
If you are optimistic, but there are many people with negative energy around you, then you should look at negative energy from another angle. Perhaps, it also brings you benefits.
03
There are always people with negative energy around, what should I do?
You must have met someone with negative energy-
What's the use of learning English? I don't need it anymore anyway.
-Ha ha, you don't really think you can do it, do you?
-smack your lips when you encounter unfair things. "Ha ha, China society is like this!"
Their mantra is, "Hehe", "Impossible" and "Does this work?" ?
I met a man who had a terrible experience. At first, I sympathized with her and helped her make suggestions, but I gradually found that when you talked to her, all she said was negative and sad, as if the whole world was not good to her. She is in trouble. You gave her n suggestions and methods, and she could find N+ 1 reasons to deny you.
-Ah, that won't do, because! (objective reality)
-Oh, I can't do this! (lack of ability)
Ah, after this, it won't work! (useless)
In this way, you are also surrounded by frustration and trapped in a strange circle where you can't do anything. Then continue to listen to her, how unfortunate she is, how bad her husband is, colleagues around her always crowd her out, and children always make trouble? In fact, she didn't listen to you at all, just immersed in her own misfortune.
When you tell her some good news, such as you want to climb a mountain, she will only deny it. Mountain climbing is fun and tiring. Many people climb and can't get down. You want to buy a house, she said. Are you crazy? How tired it is to pay off the mortgage on your own salary every month! Once her words reach your ears, you will feel uncomfortable.
You don't want to achieve a goal, just because someone tells you that you can't, you give up. When you make up your mind to do something, they will plant doubts in your mind intentionally or unintentionally. If you are a relative, they will even deprive you of your dreams.
In Ode to Joy, Fan's family is typical. Fan's mother saw her daughter buying discounted clothes online and said something extremely vicious: this is not as good as the old society, where there are pawn shops!
What do you mean? She wanted to sell her daughter's clothes to fill the bottomless pit of her worthless son, and bought a house for her parasitic son with her daughter's money. This kind of squeezing almost ruined Fan's future.
Fan's brother and family have no sense of independence at all, and they are desperately squeezing Fan. Sister-in-law Fan said to Fan: Your nephew Gaga said the other day that when he grew up, he would ask him to menstruation to find him a job!
Some people are emitters of negative energy. They are unhappy. They just rely on absorbing the positive energy of others, spitting out the negative energy of others, and even squeezing others to survive. What would you do if you met such a person?
1. Identify people with negative energy.
Some negative people are easy to find, such as Sister Xianglin, who will keep complaining to everyone she meets, but some negative people are hard to find. Even at first you thought she was nice, but think about it carefully. Is her influence on you negative or positive?
Identify those people with negative energy first, and then think about how they prevent you from being away from true happiness. Making a list may help you take action.
Stay away from people with negative energy, it doesn't mean you hate them, it just means you love yourself more. After all, life is too short to spend time sucking away happy people.
Detoxify oneself
The easiest, quickest and most effective way is to stay away from people with negative energy!
However, what if the objective environment can't do it? What should you do?
You can try playing games with him. If he tells every bad news, you can find that "in fact, this is a good thing!" " "Isn't it cool? It's like a customs clearance game.
There is another interesting way to learn about Harry Potter. When you meet a person with negative energy, imagine that you have a magic cloak, which can be any color and appearance. When you put on this cloak, you have the ability to resist negative energy, which will be shielded if it does not affect you.
Isn't it amazing? Next time you meet someone with negative energy, you can try. Believe it (hypnosis).
3. Enhance self-worth
When it comes to people with negative energy constitution, they are often people with unclear boundaries and no self.
Therefore, to improve self-worth, you can stay away from people with negative energy. You are important, you are you, unique. Other people's comments can't affect you. The negative energy of others should be returned to each other, which has nothing to do with you. You should have your own boundaries and face your family.
If you realize how precious you are and love yourself, it will be easier to leave those who have negative energy.
When you become an independent person with clear boundaries, people with negative energy will naturally bypass you.
4. Make friends with positive energy
In an interview, Cai Kangyong once said, "Little S is a very interesting person. Her personality is very cheerful and full of energy. This friend makes me feel that living is a worthwhile, comfortable and interesting thing. Some people will make me feel bored alive, and meeting him will suck all my energy. "
Quite right, isn't it? With happy people, life is beautiful, with negative people, life is difficult. If you live with the lame, you will learn to limp.
Ok, now let people with negative energy disappear from your life. It's time to fill your life with positive people who are good for your soul.
Cherish yourself and be with people who make you better. May you live in sunshine, not under haze.
If you like to do something with friends who are always full of negative energy, remember to share it with more friends!
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