I feel for you that we can't touch, but we can feel. In fact, everyone will have different feelings about the same thing. This is the difference between people, but fortunately we can express it through language. This is how I feel about you.
My feeling for you is 1. I give you the impression that even if we don't talk or don't talk for a long time, there will be no direct connection. I still think you are a very, very important person to me. Some things just want to give you, and some warm things just want to do for you. Even if you don't want it.
I don't want to give it to you.
How to express your feelings
What's it like?
In the consulting room, I often ask my visitors, "What is your feeling?"
In general, we seldom talk about feelings. Many times, we will say something like "this environment is good, I think you are fine, and you are ok here".
Sometimes, I will say, "Tell me about yourself?"
The other party talks more about his own judgment and evaluation, and rarely tells his feelings.
Express the true feelings, and the other party can feel them.
When we chat with others, it is not easy to really feel how the other person feels now.
People exist because of feelings. Without feelings, we don't exist.
If you can't understand your feelings, you will feel that life is particularly empty and it is difficult to find the meaning of life.
It seems that when we grow up, it is difficult for us to really be with our feelings. It is difficult for us to express our feelings while being seen or loved by others.
When we were young, we seldom had the chance to be loved. In our relationship with my mother, we are seldom loved. So after we get married, we also treat our children the way we were treated as children.
Sometimes our feelings change.
Transformation means that children will suddenly become very angry when they hear others say these words, as if they think it will bring trouble to others after saying them.
Expressing feelings has become a shameful thing.
I didn't get any response after expressing my feelings. In this way, we will think that feelings are not important. After expressing our feelings, we got nothing. Slowly, our feelings were suppressed.
People with high EQ are good at expressing their feelings.
Now everyone is very happy to discuss the topic of emotional intelligence.
A person who can express his feelings is an emotional intelligence expert.
Both gentlemen bought a present for their wives.
After receiving the gift, wife A was very happy. "Husband, that's very kind of you." . This expression is an evaluative affirmation of her husband. )
Wife b also received a gift from her husband. "Husband, I am really happy to get this gift. It's good to have you! " "(Mrs. B directly expressed her feelings, and she was very happy, very happy. This is also an affirmation of the husband. )
The information expressed by the two wives will definitely make the husband have different experiences.
Which wife's expression do you like better?
Wife b is an emotional intelligence expert. When she expresses her feelings, she is actually connected with her husband.
When two people are together, even if they say nothing and do nothing, they will feel very satisfied. This kind of satisfaction can be realized by two people smiling at each other without words.
Therefore, the relationship between people, the most important thing is to have feelings.
When we have been educated to be a person who can't express feelings, how can we change ourselves and become a person who can express feelings?
How to express your feelings
First, consciousness.
We should realize how we feel at this moment.
If you realize it, you will know how you feel at the moment. Is it angry? Sad? Grievance? Scared? Still worried?
There is no right or wrong feeling, feeling is feeling.
Feeling is feeling, we just need to be aware of it.
Second, admit.
We should admit our feelings and don't deny them immediately.
Some people are angry, but they can't admit their anger, so they will take immediate action and throw their anger at others.
Admit it. Admit how you feel.
Third, accept.
There is no difference between good and bad, just accept this moment as it is.
I know a friend. He is young and has an interesting expression.
Once, he told me, "Many times I feel so lonely and want to go into prostitution."
This is a joke.
When he heard this sentence, his expression was particularly vivid. I can say that he has accepted his loneliness.
If you feel accepted, you can be reformed.
When feelings can be expressed afterwards, in fact, feelings will pass.
Feelings should be expressed.
Many times, we don't allow others to express their feelings.
When the husband saw his wife crying, he was very angry and shouted, "Why are you crying?" ? Why are you crying? Why are you crying? "
When we are young, we may be treated in this way: sadness can't be expressed.
So we are not allowed to express our feelings, which in itself is our suppression, denial and transformation of our feelings.
Since the worship of God in the Middle Ages, we seldom feel ourselves.
I envy people born after 90 s and 00 s. Because relatively speaking, they can express their feelings more freely. When they look at something, they will directly say "like" or "dislike", "willing" or "unwilling", "should" or "shouldn't".
This is an era of feelings.
Express your feelings, and you are truly with yourself.
When we accept our feelings and experience ourselves, we have the ability to truly understand others.
When I found myself sad, I suddenly shed a tear. In order to cater to others, I immediately made a smiling face. You don't love yourself.
How can I express my feelings for you?
Feeling is the lowest and deepest power in our life.
"How to improve your life experience? On many occasions, when others are emotional and tearful, I am a little numb and indifferent. "
"My wife says that I often speak regardless of her feelings."
"To be honest, I won't cry now, and I haven't cried for a long time. Everyone also said that I rarely laugh. "
"People with poor sensibility actually have a hard life."
Above, a father asked me yesterday.
Dear, is there anyone in your life who seems to be super rational and has no feelings? Really, in fact, they are also having a hard time.
Or, dear you, haven't you been touched for a long time?
It's been a long time since you were allowed to cry and laugh?
Have you not felt the tenderness of the breeze blowing through your skin for a long time?
In this busy era, if we don't work hard, we will be left behind by the flood of information. Are we crazy, collecting, sorting out, analyzing and judging information, events or people, but we don't have time to feel the fragrance of a flower, the coolness of a breeze and the melody of a tune? A person's heart, especially the closest people around us, is far isolated by our rational wall.
In this cold wall of reason, it is your own heart, which is so soft and needs more softness to connect, but it is imprisoned, lonely and cold. Seemingly strong, but alone endure unspeakable pain.
Yes, I can't describe it. Bitter.
Is that we can't express our feelings.
What's it like?
Feeling is the lowest and deepest power in our life.
It is the source of happiness and sadness.
Is an open heart, let it experience life deeply, perceive the world, and then be delicate and profound.
It is the expression of vitality and the source of creativity.
Why should we imprison such a vivid "sensibility"?
1, since childhood, we are not allowed.
If we live in a family or social environment where external authority or rules are more important than vitality itself, we will encounter the growing experience of "not being allowed to express our feelings".
"How dare you get angry?"
"What is there to be afraid of?"
"How can a boy cry? Be brave! "
"How can a girl shout?"
Every parent who doesn't allow children to express their feelings is probably far from their feelings, right? They can't feel their own feelings, let alone their children's feelings, so they lose their natural parent-child relationship with their children.
Many parents say, why are children getting farther and farther away from us? More and more reluctant to talk to us.
Who closed the door of the heart, especially the door to express feelings?
The teacher once said in class that the most terrible thing for a family is to have a super rational mother.
She will lose her sensitivity to life, she will judge life by the analysis of her own mind, and she will lose her maternal love and feminine beauty inherent in life.
She will lose the ability to nourish life.
So, how can we raise a child's life?
2, growth, we automatically shut down.
Since childhood, we are not allowed to express the vitality of life, and we are not allowed to have feelings. It is dangerous to express your feelings.
"If you cry again, mom won't want you!"
"We work so hard, how can you not be satisfied?"
Expressing feelings will make your life unsafe, so in order to protect yourself, make sure you live first, and put away your feelings.
Expressing my feelings will make my parents sad, so in order to make them happy and let them know that I am a good boy, I will put away my feelings.
Then, why don't you put away the most dynamic force in your life?
Feel it is dangerous.
When we grow up, we freeze our hearts.
I feel imprisoned.
We can't feel our hearts.
We don't know how to feel the world and another person's heart.
Then, we also froze our hearts.
How can you live without feelings?
We still have brains!
When your lover gives you a carefully prepared gift,
You said, "That's very kind of you!" You are alive in your mind, and the power in your heart that can connect your life deeper is not shown.
If you say, "You have to prepare such a gift that suits my heart, I really feel very happy and happy." Then, you invited another heart to gently touch your heart.
Most people don't feel their hearts, and those who can't express their feelings live by their brains.
When you only express "I feel …", "good, bad", "right, wrong" and "should, shouldn't", you won't express "I feel …".
Then you live by your head, close your heart and freeze your sensibility.
They are rational, calm, analytical, judgmental, scientific and objective.
They are not easily moved, not involved in emotions, and don't know what more intimate ways to contact people besides talking about theories and things.
They are far from their hearts. In fact, their hearts have not been warm for a long time, and they are very cold and lonely. However, this feeling has also been shut down by them, and there is only one inexplicable power in my heart.
They are also far away from the people around them. They closed their own hearts and the ability to feel the hearts of others. But the desire for intimacy is the driving force of all life, to live and live happily.
All the feelings of being imprisoned will not disappear.
The best sensibility needs to be awakened.
How to awaken our sensibility?
Train our perception.
From observing our breathing, whether it is slow, urgent, warm or cold, inhaling and exhaling,
Into our bodies, from scanning our body feelings, every cell, every subtle feeling, hot, cold, heavy or relaxed?
Into our emotions, happy or depressed? Happy or sad? Calm or anxious? Rest assured or worried?
From the beginning of breathing, we can perceive and feel our body and inner emotional state.
It is the best way to enter our hearts and release our feelings, and it is also the most healing method.
2. Let go of your judgment.
It also starts with breathing, enters our minds and observes the thoughts in our minds. Look at them and let them go. It is that quiet and open space between the former's thoughts and the latter's that hides the most dynamic energy in our lives.
See thoughts, see our judgments, good or bad, right or wrong, see severe tests and heated debates in our minds, and watch them, but they are not controlled by them, nor are they used to control others.
You take off your protective armor. You have a chance to get into other people's hearts.
You start to be gentle and considerate.
Start feeling the feelings of others.
3. Learn to feel the beauty of the world.
Everything is the best embodiment of vitality. Feel them.
Their vitality, the touch they bring you.
Watching the sun illuminate the dew on the leaves,
Smell the fragrance of roses,
Let the breeze caress your skin,
Feel the stability of stepping on the ground with your feet,
Seeing birds flying freely in the sky,
Smile at strangers,
Hug your lover, feel his temperature,
Touch the baby's skin,
See the vicissitudes of life deposited in the wrinkles of the old man.
Slow down, slowly pick up an apple, feel the touch between your hand and the apple, smell its unique fragrance, observe its color depth, touch it gently with your lips, bite it slowly with your teeth, taste its taste with your tongue, and feel different tastes with each bite.
Listen to music, enjoy painting, go to nature and open your heart.
Everything, everyone and all existence are awakening your sensibility, deeply longing for and inviting you, connecting with your own heart and connecting with them.
To express your feelings is to be close to your own heart and considerate of others' hearts.
Suppressed feelings, surging in the heart, expressed feelings, become a bond of intimate contact.
Let go of judgment and describe your feelings more, with yourself and others.
"At that moment, I felt sad, sad, embarrassed and depressed ..."
"At the moment, I feel happy, warm, quiet and full of hope ..."
"Son, are you a little depressed, lonely and disappointed?"
"My dear, what do you feel? Do you feel happy? Is it sweet? Happiness? Is it practical? "
Dear, how do you feel after reading this article?
I hope you are warm and can feel the hope and strength of the deep connection between life.
I hope you are happy and can't wait to feel the beauty of this world and express your love for life.
Because love can melt a frozen heart.
How do I feel about you? How do you feel about me?
There are two ways to answer "How do you feel about me", as follows:
First, for girls who don't like it.
For a girl you don't like, treat her as a friend. Don't directly refuse to hurt others' hearts. When you reply to a girl, you can say:
1. In my eyes, you have always been lovely and cheerful, just like my sister.
I really didn't feel it on purpose. It feels good to be with you.
Second, for the girl you like
1, clearly understand each other's thoughts.
Now that we have a clear understanding of the girl's mind and know that the other person likes us, we can speak out our likes when replying to the girl. For example, from the days when we met, I always remember the first day when we met, the white skirt you were wearing was very cute and had a good feeling for you. Actually, I've been (confessing).
2. In mutual understanding
At this stage, your relationship with the girl is just a friend or an affair. At this time, direct confession will be very risky, exposing too much demand and losing value. So when you reply to a girl, you can say: Guess what? How do you think I feel about you now?
How to judge what a girl means when she asks you how you feel about her?
If you want to judge whether a girl asks you how you feel about her is a good feeling or a temptation, you can judge by the tone and emotional state of the girl when she says this sentence.
Generally speaking, girls dare not look into your eyes, which is a sign of shyness, and it also shows that girls have a good impression on you. If a girl looks you straight in the eye and looks forward to it, it also means that this girl likes you. Another is that girls are very calm and even expressionless, so if a girl asks you this question, she may just refuse you.