At this time, understanding, comfort and encouragement are often more important and valuable than money and material help.
But it often backfires. The more this happens, the more people will resent it. A cold look from relatives and friends and a cold word can often break a man's heart like a knife.
No one can guarantee that he will be smooth sailing, and everyone has bad luck sometimes.
These are nothing, in fact, most people will always have such difficulties several times in their lives.
The key is not to lose confidence and courage, regain confidence, start all over again and get up from where you fell. 、
Where does this confidence come from? Love and encouragement from relatives and friends.
If a man feels that even his closest relatives don't like him and look down on him,
If he feels no longer needed, if he feels looked down upon by his relatives,
How can he still have the confidence to get up and start over?
People are particularly vulnerable and sensitive when they are down and out.
More understanding, comfort and encouragement, and less boredom and disdain are actually the best help for him.
There is a saying in Gu Longli that I think is very reasonable-
A woman should help a man, not desperately, but let the man feel that he is not looked down upon, that he is needed, and that he is the greatest reliance of this woman!
Most women who can read this sentence live happily.
I have personally experienced the lowest point of men. First, you need to put aside the so-called face and success-seeking mentality, re-learn skills and start a new job. Second, you must get the understanding and support of your family, especially your wife. That's all that matters.
I am 44 years old. At the age of 34, it can be said that from heaven to underground, the enterprise went bankrupt and was heavily in debt. At that time, the eyes were high and the eyes were low, which led to marital discord. Then I went to work in Beijing because I couldn't let go of my face. The former boss of a small enterprise worked as a worker in a small factory for two years, and the result after returning to China was divorce.
After I came back, I went to open a small parallel clothing store for a year. At that time, I was able to control my own food and clothing. After I met a friend, I went to him to study engineering supervision, saying that supervision is actually a handyman, with a monthly salary of 2000. I gave up after doing it for a year. At that time, my mobile phone didn't have any money, and my daughter followed me. There is nothing in my house or car. I am 38 years old.
I met my present wife this year and just came back from working in other places, which was introduced by my classmates. She said that if you want to do something, you should learn some skills. She will pay for your living expenses and children's expenses during your study. The turning point appeared, and I still gave up the engineering data study and simple engineering design of the supervision project. In the second year, because my friend is a supervision company, I personally received some engineering materials (in fact, most of the engineering materials in this industry are young people, and I am very old), and my annual income is about 654.38+ 10,000. Three to four years later, I now have my own company, mainly engaged in project measurement, planning and design of small projects, and I have stopped making materials. The annual income is 30 to 40. /kloc-bought a car in 0/7,/kloc-bought a house in 0/9, with a down payment of 800,000 yuan.
People must put down their faces when they are at a low ebb. They should not rush for success or aim too high. Communicate with your lover, let him give you some time and give her hope at the same time.
Really powerful men also have strong toughness. When a person is poorest and most depressed, it is never because he has no money, nor because he is heavily in debt. Everything related to money is nothing. What really makes a man desperate is the group of people he is desperate to protect. His relatives who are not afraid of life and death have left when they are down and out. Made of iron, a man can't stand being divorced from the reality of others. The person who hurts him the most is often the person he trusts the most, when the person he loves is also thinking carefully, weighing the pros and cons and finally giving up; And for a while, home can't go back; When all the people he cares about escape from him, then a person enters a real trough.
What men need most when they are poorest and most depressed is love. All failures and setbacks are just a fresh start. Lost property, money, status, reputation and wealth ... all these can be regained through another struggle. And the heart he lost in frustration and smeared with charcoal by his beloved has already turned to ashes. Spiritual blows and injuries can never be made up. Although the past is unbearable, it is always uncontrollable and stinging like a flood. In waves of severe pain, a person will really understand that nothing can't be let go. What you can't let go has been put down by others. Although you can't believe it, you are really not as important as you think in the eyes of others.
Men are the worst, the poorest and the most depressed. All the pain comes from the burden of the mind. Only by adjusting your mentality is the most important thing. Since nobody cares about you, since you have nothing, and since you are not afraid of death, what do you care about? After experiencing a heart-wrenching pain. You will find yourself getting stronger and stronger inside; Will be stronger and stronger; When others don't care about your life and death, you find it wonderful to live, as long as you live! After experiencing rebirth, you fully understand that only self-reliance, self-esteem, self-love and self-reliance are the only way out. Almost everyone has abandoned you, and you no longer ask for help from the outside world, but you are unforgettable and vow to be as brave as Gou Jian, the king of Yue.
When a person is poorest and most depressed. Don't expect too much, wait for charity and sympathy from others, and wake up from the pain as soon as possible. As Balzac said, "Frustration and misfortune are the steps of genius and the bottomless pit of the weak". A winner succeeds because he is determined to achieve his goal when others lose confidence in adversity. Frustration can make a strong person. In the face of adversity, it's entirely up to you to move on or to collapse. If you are a real man, put down all the burdens and get up! In fact, setbacks are not terrible. What is terrible is that there is no courage and determination to overcome setbacks. Let those who have failed you know that they have failed themselves. All the lost people remember: "Success is the sweetest revenge"!
When you are the poorest, the most down-and-out, and your career is at a low ebb, then this person is the wealth of your life, and you should exhaust all the nobles who should be grateful for it! Gorky once said: "A calm lake can't make a thin sailor, and a comfortable life can't make a great man of an era." You can accomplish as much as you can endure. People must survive tenaciously when they are alive, and indomitable struggle, failure and frustration are our steps to success. Poverty, depression, depression ... all hardships are tests for successful people.
I think I am qualified to talk about this issue: I just turned 39, but I was dismissed for my own reasons, and I still haven't kept my job. At that time, more than 200,000 foreign debts were owed. My ex-wife blamed me and my parents didn't understand me. At that time, my hair was covered, and I don't know what to do in the future. Fortunately, I am delicious. I learned how to make salt water from the chef in the canteen. Finally, my sister supported and reminded me to go out and sell Guilin rice noodles. Then I went out to set up a stall to sell rice noodles. I sold it myself for 2 years, and finally rented a facade in the third year to operate stably. However, too many things have happened in these two years. My ex-wife complained too much that she looked down on me. Then she left me when I needed support most, threw herself into the arms of others, left me two children, and forced me to compensate100000 for the loss of youth. My parents also slowly supported me and understood me. My sister also silently supported me, and now I am out of danger, without distress and paying off my debts. She is just angry with her ex-wife for breaking up the family by herself. It is better to learn from the husband and wife to work together to break the gold, and good positive energy is not desirable. A few years later, life is different. Therefore, when a man is down and out, I will always remember a sentence, people can always live a different life without death. The greatest happiness of this body is to have good parents and sisters. Thank you for never giving up on me. May my heroes in the world not give up on themselves and work hard for the future.
Need backbone, need courage, need firm faith, need confidence, need a clear head, need the understanding and support of relatives!
You need the support of your family most. Reducing one's anxiety and maintaining one's confidence are very important for starting over and getting out of the trough.
When I was poorest, I came out of naked resignation, a state-owned enterprise, and couldn't find a job. I saved two months' salary, 4000 yuan, before resigning. Besides, my only asset is a Nokia 32 10 mobile phone (thanks to a mobile phone, I survived as a salesman). I wonder how I can last two months. I'm sure I can find a job.
As a result, I seriously overestimated myself. At first, I rented two bedrooms and one living room, a family building of a hospital, and 700 yuan for one month. I shared one of them with others, and I rented it in 350 yuan for one month. That was in 2003. After renting for a quarter, there is no way to renew it.
Because I have no education, skills and experience, I can't do anything but build roads, but I don't want to go back to the construction site after I die. I have been unable to find a job, so I have to move to a cheaper place to live. I found an illegal building built by laid-off workers in a steel plant on the rooftop of the ninth floor. It was a circle of bricks covered with asbestos tiles, two rooms, and a brick ground planted in front of the door. There is a decoration worker living next door with a child of five or six years old, and we don't communicate much. They also have a TV at home, and the walls are not soundproof. I can hear you clearly, remember.
I didn't take a picture at that time, but I found a picture from the internet, which is probably this environment, wearing more than this. There is nothing in the room except a bed, a table, an electric fan and a light bulb. Bathing is always poured with a bucket of water from the roof. I can't afford the rent and water and electricity every month 150 yuan, so I go back late and go out early every day. On the one hand, I am seriously anxious, on the other hand, I am trying to avoid the landlord. I guess he called me several times and finally.
Now that I think about it, the house is really like the TV series "Hidden Corner", just under the Jialing River Bridge, but no one knows it in the center of this bustling metropolis.
One day, the child next door found a puppy from nowhere. He didn't feed it, he just kicked it. He can't escape, because there is an iron gate on the rooftop on the ninth floor, and the dog purrs on the rooftop at night. I have no choice but to carry it to my room, buy it instant noodles and sausages, and bring it to me every day when I come back from outside. I didn't know there was dog food at that time.
As a result, one night after half a month, I came back and found it lying hard at the door of my room. Forget the smell, it feels like myself. This is the only life in this city that has emotional connection with me. I dug a hole in the roof where the landlord planted vegetables and buried it. Oh, you're welcome Now that I think about it, I feel that I owe it. I started to stagger the other day, like I was drunk. Now I think it is actually caused by malnutrition and hypoglycemia. I dare not feed the dog easily now, because I'm afraid I can't afford the responsibility and trust.
I can't sleep at night, so I sit on the roof alone and watch the cars coming and going on the Yuzhong Peninsula and the opposite bridge. I really don't know when I can stand in this city, and where is the future? There is no answer, but the only thing I know is that going back to the construction site is definitely not the answer, so I will survive in this city anyway, just walk slowly with an empty stomach. The feeling of sitting on the roof is the mood of this picture.
Go out to look for a job or wander around every day until the lights go out in the city. I passed an abandoned factory from Guanyin Bridge. There were no street lamps and no people. At that time, the land had not been developed, about one kilometer. This is a dark and muddy road. In those months, I hardly spoke and no one spoke except calling on customers during the day.
Situation map, don't be serious.
At that time, Chongqing noodles were May Day bowls. I only eat two bowls of noodles or an egg fried rice every day. It can be said that it can only be used to maintain vital signs, and more energy is not input at all.
The bus basically takes less than five stops, so there is plenty of time because it gets up early and comes back late. During the day, they go out to look for jobs, buy talent information weekly, and interview all over the world. In the evening, they go to the bookstore to read books and blow air conditioning until the bookstore closes. In addition to the necessary living expenses such as eating, the only expense is surfing the Internet in Internet cafes, mainly to find a job and search enterprise information, and sometimes spend ten yuan to spend a night in Internet cafes.
Finally, I really didn't move. Seeing that I really ran out of ammunition and food, I had to accept a job as a salesman without a basic salary to promote the advertising business of a tepid weekly newspaper in Chongqing. The commission is very high, 25%. A dead horse is a living horse doctor, either go back to the construction site to dig or gnash your teeth. It was during that time that I read the book Parcel-the greatest salesman in the world and followed it. God won't starve to death, but this is a real command. The headmaster of a vocational training school was moved by my persistence and decided to give me a chance to try it for six thousand yuan for a month. I got a commission of 1500. On the day of signing the contract, I went to the advertising company to advance the commission. Needless to say, 1500 is more useful than the later one. Because it feels like a person who has been fluttering in the water for a long time and is about to sink to the bottom has caught a lifebuoy. This money not only keeps me going for a few more months, but also gives me great confidence. For the first time, I have confidence, and I don't depend on anyone to survive in a city.
I know I can get a foothold in this city, and then things become easier and easier. In view of the rapid decline of newspaper media, the newspaper's influence and circulation were insufficient, and the school didn't renew its contract one month later. I also transferred to an online company to do online advertising sales, learning technology while selling, and working at home step by step for more than ten years until I started my own business three years ago and had my own platform.
In retrospect, I am actually glad that I experienced such a difficult period of time, at least when I was young. If life must be beaten, the sooner the better, because the sooner I get better, the more I can stand it. If people experience such a thing in middle age, they may really be unable to carry it.
In fact, life is really not always so embarrassing. It's like you're suffocating. In this case again, you can stay longer than others. In case of economic crisis, others can't stand it. You can bear it for a while. You won't relish what others don't want to do just because you have experienced worse days. In fact, it is easier to satisfy, cherish and be grateful.
Later, I got everything I wanted when I was building roads on the construction site, and I got everything I wanted when I lived on the roof and the roof, and it far exceeded my expectations at that time. There is a good saying, when the raindrops fall, I don't know which route I will take to join the river, but it will eventually join the river and run to the sea. In fact, people are the same. If you want something enough and are willing to pay any price for it, you will get it in the end. You can find a hundred ways to achieve it. As you said just now, people can tolerate any kind of life as long as they know what they are living for. How can such a small idea of working hard for personal life talk about greatness? We paid less than one-tenth of those great men.
It's not like I cook chicken soup. I really advise young people to experience more difficulties and setbacks when they are young, because at this time, the sunk cost and trial-and-error cost are the lowest, and they can't afford to lose, because you have nothing to lose anyway. It's better to let go and live a more exciting life. When you enter middle age or even old age, you won't feel that your life is dull. This is a great fortune.
Speaking of being a bitch, when you get through it successfully, you will even regret why you didn't make it harder, more exciting and more ups and downs, because only in this way can your plot be wonderful enough, and there is an illusion that the more hardships you experienced when you were young, the greater your achievements and wealth will be, so you will regret why you didn't bravely challenge the greater difficulties. Because, when you cross that hurdle, as time goes by, you will find that the difficulty that suffocated you at that time was just a fart.
There is a passage in "Caigen Tan" to share with you:
If you swallow your pride, you will win if you are poor.
Getting rid of poverty is a hammer to train heroes. Being able to exercise and benefit the body and mind; If you don't exercise, you will lose your body and mind.
To annotate ...
1 rebellion: disaster, disaster. Hero: refers to a talented person.
3 furnace hammer: tempering, tempering means.
translate
Disaster and poverty are like furnaces and hammers for tempering heroes. If you can stand the test, you will certainly gain something; If you can't stand this kind of blow, your body and mind will be seriously hurt.
In the face of poverty and blow, you may not be able to escape and choose, but you can decide what kind of mentality you want to experience, and different mentality will bring completely different results.
Back to this topic, what do men need to do when they are poor? Combining my own personal experience and my two-year education, I brought thousands of students with similar starting points. When I found me, I was basically at the bottom of society, similar to the stage of not finding a job. What I want is skills without skills, education without education, family without family, money without money, but they have shown differences through one year's development. After my long-term observation, I found that those who made outstanding achievements earned 200,000 yuan a year.
First, the first is courage.
I think this is more important than ability now, and it has nothing to do with education and ability.
Courage is the courage to bear the consequences, to seize the opportunity, to take certain risks, not to entangle, not to be swayed by considerations of gain and loss, not to be afraid of being clumsy and going back on one's word.
Simply put, people are particularly refreshing, clean and neat, and do not procrastinate.
The higher the income, the more decisive people are, and those students with poor grades are all the opposite without exception.
Today, as a freelancer, I can earn seven figures from a road worker. Not how smart or capable I am. I think I have the courage to give up the establishment of state-owned enterprises first, which has already explained this point.
Second, strong self-drive.
I found that the people who have the strongest earning power are the people who ask me the least technical questions, because they are all very motivated. But if they can solve it themselves, they won't bother others. You just need to show him the way. There are some pebbles and ditches on the road, and they will solve them themselves. They know how to solve problems through search, which is very similar to me.
On the contrary, people who ask the most questions can't get out. It is no exaggeration to say that the students who ask the most questions ask more questions than those 50 people with strong learning ability, but they still can't give him confidence. Those students with strong automaticity come in late but run far, while those with poor automaticity come in early but dare not go out.
There is no doubt that I am also a self-driven person. All my choices and decisions were the result of independent thinking. All the skills I learned later were self-taught, and I never worshipped my master. I relied on self-driven learning with the help of search engines.
An enterprising and self-driven person is unstoppable. Like a persistent hunter, he will eventually catch his target.
Matthew said, whatever he has, double it to him, whatever he lacks, take the rest away. Students with good grades are simply too lazy to find a job. They are confident and have the means to persuade employers to accept freelancing, which is more expensive than full-time employment.
On the contrary, those who just want to find a few thousand dollars to work can't even keep their jobs, which is the Matthew effect of the 28 th Law.
To see if life is the same. The more people despise work, the less worried they are about it, and the more they care about a job, the more unstable it is. Their essential differences are active and passive, decisive and tangled, self-confidence and inferiority.
The more embarrassed and lacking a person is, the more he can't hold back, and the more he needs to be bold and firm. Indecision will only make him stand still for a long time. The more you have nothing, the more precious your spiritual strength is, and you can starve and survive the cold winter. But if the spiritual world collapses, it is really difficult to stand up again. Backward or forward is often a difference, but the way forward is also very different.
Don't be a little evil, ignore a little good.
If you want to do something on the road, don't be happy, just do it.
As soon as I got it, I went deep into Wan Ren;
Managing things on the road is not afraid of difficulties or a little retrogression.
Take a step back and stay away from Qianshan.
Don't do bad things just because they are harmless.
Don't stop doing a good thing just because the harvest is small.
Don't do things related to desire just because it can bring fun and pleasure, because once you start, it will be difficult to end, and eventually you will get deeper and deeper, unable to extricate yourself and beyond redemption; Proceed from reason, when you encounter something beneficial to your body and mind, don't quit easily because of difficulties, otherwise it will become more and more difficult to achieve, and taking a step back may miss the chance of success forever.
Man is the master of his own destiny. If you have a dream, pursue it. Don't ask anyone for comfort. One day you will thank yourself for going forward. Mature people don't die gloriously for a great cause, but live humbly for a great cause.
May every friend who is at a low ebb gain strength, turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones and walk out of his own world.
What men need most is self-confidence and perseverance when they are the poorest, the most depressed and the lowest in their careers. Believe in your ability, intelligence and self-control; Believe that "trough" is only the starting point of success, not the end point; Believe that the darkest moment in the sky is the moment of dawn; Believe that God is deliberately testing people, not destroying them. For men, all difficulties and obstacles are temporary, and everything will eventually pass. The eagle flies low just to fly high, and it will certainly fly higher. "Perseverance" is the endurance and persistence based on self-confidence, the embodiment of men's willpower, and the prominent feature of why men are called "men". Because men are natural conquerors, but to conquer poverty and poverty, we must first conquer our cowardice, otherwise, we will be abolished as men. There is a novel called Real Men. Its owner is Alexei, a pilot of the former Soviet Union. He lost his legs in the anti-fascist battle, but with amazing perseverance, he used prosthetic limbs to exercise and practice his flying skills, and finally boarded his own plane to participate in the battle. It can be seen that there are no obstacles in front of real men. Therefore, no matter how many grievances, pains and disasters men encounter, they must abide by self-confidence and perseverance. In this way, the final success must belong to real men, and failure does not belong to men.
Everyone's life will be different. Some people have a smooth life, while others have ups and downs. Some people have experienced great storms. A life of ups and downs. There are also some people who encounter the most difficult time in life. Chose to escape from life. But anyway, people who can experience big waves. Those who can stand the test of failure constantly. Will eventually become a strong person in life. Become a pillar of society. Celebrities of all ages stood up and became great men after experiencing ups and downs and failures. Such as the successful Lei Yun, Ren and Liu.
When a man is poorest and most depressed, the most important thing is to have confidence in the future. No difficulty can stop you from realizing your dream. When a man is in the most difficult time, he should consider how to get through the trough and wait for the opportunity to make a comeback. Lead your team to be a blockbuster. Reach the highest level of life. Realize your dream. Isn't this the history of Ma Yun's growth?
This is what I am now. It was the eldest daughter who said that you came to the city to send your children to school, so don't be bored at home alone. That depressed mood has dropped sharply.