Here are six communication skills in intimate relationships.
If you want to talk, you must talk sincerely.
In any case, as long as you don't want to communicate at that time, you have the right not to communicate.
Talking about anything with irritability and anger can easily lead to quarrels and conflicts, making things more difficult to handle. Talking about anything with anxiety and worry will make your spouse feel the same way.
So, if you don't want to communicate with each other at that moment, you can calm down first, but we need to know how to use appropriate expressions. You must understand that husband and wife must keep communication. Let's not talk about it now When you speak, you should give the other person a promise, and it is a clear promise, not a promise like "wait until I am in a good mood".
Support your partner even if he/she is not perfect.
When your partner says something wrong in front of everyone, don't correct him/her immediately. You should wait until there are only two people at home and both of them are in a positive mood before telling him/her.
Furthermore, when a partner makes some decisions or behaviors in certain situations, support him/her as long as it does not cause serious consequences (such as breaking the law) or the cost is too high (such as losing a lot of money). For example, walking on this side or that side of the road, he/she wants to buy a favorite item and so on. When two people are together, if you can always support his/her choice, he/she will support you in turn.
Sometimes he/she can't make the best choice. You can tell him/her how to become better. If he/she doesn't accept it, don't stick to your point of view and try your best to help him/her implement his/her decision. When the result proves that you are right, he/she will be persuaded and feel your support for him/her.
Avoid criticizing and complaining about each other.
No one likes to listen to criticism and complaints. It is very unpleasant to live with a person who always complains. No one can live like this. This is the starting point of many bad relationships, and people who always love to criticize and complain actually live very hard, have no happiness and have no friends (except some people who also like to criticize and complain).
People with this habit suggest the following ways to improve:
Give yourself a quota that you can only criticize and complain once a day. When the quota is used up, you can't criticize and complain that day.
Whenever you are dissatisfied with something, stop and think of three ways to deal with it, and then choose the one you are most willing to do and the one with the best effect.
Avoid small talk.
There is a famous saying about communication: the effect of communication depends on the response of the other party. If you say that the other party doesn't give you the expected response, it won't work. Repeated invalid methods will only continue to be invalid, and other problems will occur. Therefore, what should be done is to change the method.
People who have the habit of chattering need to decide which is more important: maintaining this habit or maintaining a harmonious relationship with their partners. If you want to change this habit, you can try this-
Say the same thing only once. If you suspect that the other person doesn't understand, you can ask him/her.
Ask your partner to remind you whenever you chat unconsciously.
Think ahead of time how to say what you want in just three sentences. Of course, three sentences cannot contain all the information, but they should contain the most important information. After three sentences, if the other person is interested, it will naturally make you say more, and then you can say other information. If the other person loses interest after three sentences, you should stop.
Avoid asking questions.
Many people will use "curiosity" as an excuse to get to the bottom of their partner or anyone's affairs. All "curiosity" is actually just trying to control each other's performance because of lack of security. Especially when the other party does something that he doesn't agree with or even allow, he/she gains a superior position over the other party: he/she is worse than me when he/she does something wrong. This will give you a chance to "teach" or "forgive" each other.
If your partner wants to do something you don't allow, you can never control him/her to do it. As the saying goes, the Tao is one foot high and the magic is ten feet high. He/she will always find an opportunity to do it. When two people get along, they become capable of catching me: they keep hiding and catching every day, and their feelings are gone.
Problems are inevitable between two people, and your other half will take risks to do things you don't allow, so you'd better start from the root cause and let go of the superficial problems.
Avoid bargaining
Love can make a person do many things, even get hurt for his other half. The only right to love a person is to do something for the other person. People who really love each other are willing to do something for each other, and when the other person accepts what he/she has done for him/her, he/she will be very happy and satisfied. From this perspective, the relationship between the two is not negotiable.
Things can be discussed whether to do or not, and bargaining is another matter: things should be done, but because you don't pay me enough, I ask for more in return. This is a message to the other party: my love for you is not enough to support me to do this for you.
Feelings are not business or business. If you deal with disputes between two people by buying and selling, it will be difficult to succeed and will inevitably cause emotional trauma. We need to be clear: in this world, everything can be given the price of money, except love and affection.
Husband and wife communication skills
1, remember to express your love and gratitude in words.
Many people think I love him, and he should know! I miss him. He should know. I am grateful to him, he should feel it! But as a result, he didn't feel or know these "should". Husband and wife originally came from different family environments, and their views on some things have traces of their own families. Moreover, the differences between the sexes make it impossible for us to think about the same thing all the time. So gratitude, or love, should be felt by no one. Need a clear statement from one party. Many times, it may not be understandable to express it, let alone not to say it.
Don't assume that he knows or understands.
Everyone has a tendency to expect too much from understanding, especially in intimate relationships. I dated a couple who had been married for ten years. My wife always says, I know what he is thinking, and I even know what he wants to say. And my husband is getting more and more silent, why? Because the husband has his own ideas, and the wife thinks she knows her husband, if the husband speaks his own ideas, he will quarrel with his wife, so the husband chooses a more peaceful method-silence.
3. listen to TA first, and then let TA listen to himself.
In marriage, we can see many silent partners. In the process of negotiation, I found that the result is usually because the silent party is defeated in the language struggle, so the policy of not communicating with each other is adopted. So, don't be too eager to communicate, lest your speech turn into a hurricane and ruin everything in front of you.
4. Love has no right or wrong to win or lose. There is no need to get the upper hand in a quarrel.
Many couples, once they have a quarrel, will argue about right and wrong and win or lose. There is no winner in the process of falling in love and quarreling! In the process of winning or losing, in fact, everyone lost. Because I forgot the purpose of the initial communication, I failed to achieve the expected communication effect. And many things in life are unsolvable, and there is no right or wrong. Therefore, in the case of disagreement, it is much better to say a few sweet words to your partner and think of a win-win solution than to argue endlessly about right and wrong and win or lose. Family is not a court, and husband and wife are not lawyers and judges.
5. Try to avoid expressing negative emotions.
Share good things, happy things and unhappy things with your partner, especially those brought by your partner, and don't say them immediately.
When you feel sad and depressed, please stop for a moment. If possible, wait for yourself to calm down. Let calm rather than excited emotions dominate the situation, so that you will always be the master of your inner world. When you are calm, you can convey your true thoughts, even if it is hidden under temporary depression. In this way, even if you are still complaining, your partner can still feel that you are saying, "I really love you."
6. Learn to enjoy silence together
Couples have been married for many years, and sometimes they really lack topics. Silence also came into being. Let silence be a way of communication, not just a pause in conversation. Learn to explore your partner's spiritual world with your sensitive heart. Love will sublimate in harmony and exquisiteness.
7. Learn to speak with your eyes
The eyes are the windows to the soul. Scientific research shows that families who look at 15 minutes a day have a 70% higher sense of happiness than families who don't make eye contact. Make eye contact a part of communication language. Emit energy through derivation, which is of course the energy you want to convey. Tell your eyes that you need it to get involved and express all your positive feelings.
8. Be realistic about your partner's expectations
Don't expect your partner to be perfect, human beings are inherently imperfect. Accept your partner for who he is, and don't create another one in your imagination. Only by recognizing and accepting the reality can we have a chance to help others improve themselves.