Why do some people easily lose their temper with their families, and some people will submit to humiliation and blame themselves every time they lose their temper with their families? How should they adjust their psychological state?
The first reason is that we feel more pressure in the face of the demands and expectations of our loved ones.
Compared with irrelevant people, we feel more pressure in the face of the demands and expectations put forward by our relatives. This is because we care more about them and don't want them to be unhappy.
So when we realize the expectations of our loved ones, if we can't do it, we risk making them unhappy. If he is unhappy, neither will we. It's like booking the results from the beginning.
We should devote ourselves to success, not failure! Therefore, our desire for success is more urgent, and the pressure is greater.
Moreover, these pressures tend to increase gradually and accumulate one by one. Looking at one thing alone, living may not be so dead. But when the last straw is pressed up, we may suddenly explode, which is a phenomenon of instantaneous excessive pressure.
But in the eyes of our family, we seem to be angry about one thing at present, so that our family members don't understand our behavior even more.
The incomprehension of family members will make our hearts more restless. When things don't go smoothly, the anguish in our hearts will accumulate. This vicious circle will not only be solved, but also further intensify family conflicts. Actually, we just want to be understood Please don't give us too much pressure.
Reason 2: In the face of our loved ones, we are often presumptuous.
Family, especially close family members, is a relatively safe and inclusive environment. Sometimes, we are wronged or under some pressure outside, and we have no way to vent, so we have to vent at home.
This is our unbridled treatment of our family, just like a child facing his mother. This is a very normal thing. But what is worrying is that this catharsis is often achieved through disorderly communication. Under pressure, we often forget how to speak well. In the process of venting, we use ridicule, distortion, exaggeration, belittle, gloom and so on to our family.
In the end, our stress was released to a certain extent, but it brought harm to our families. Family conflicts will intensify if family members react to our injuries. A good family atmosphere was destroyed by our impudence.
In fact, when a man loses his temper with his family, it will be uncomfortable to calm down and think about it, but it is so difficult to restrain the anger. In fact, for this phenomenon, family members should also give more tolerance and understanding, properly cooperate and adjust their mentality.
Reason 3: Sometimes we don't realize that we expect too much from the people we love.
Compared with our relatives, we tend to be more patient with "others" and less angry. Because we assume that "others" don't understand us, we need to communicate fully to get the understanding and cooperation of "others".
But in the face of family members, our patience is very limited, because we think family members should know us best and support us most. Generally speaking, the closer people are, the more they will understand and support each other.
But in fact, it is impossible for family members to fully understand us point-to-point in everything, which is unrealistic, and it is impossible for us to always understand and support the needs and ideas of our loved ones.
What kind of man is gentle and honest? Gentle: gentle and polite; Er ya: gentle. Describe a person with a gentle attitude and elegant manners.
What is the meaning of tenderness? The most common explanation is "elegance", and another explanation is "gentle attitude and elegant behavior" (Modern Chinese Dictionary).
But the idiom "tenderness" clearly means "tenderness", not "tenderness"; Obviously it is "elegance", not "elegance".
As far as we know, the idiom "gentle, courteous and frugal" probably comes from the chapter "Chen Xijiu" in Pu Songling's Strange Tales from a Lonely Studio. Among them, "the son of this famous family is gentle." Is Wu Can a thief? " The language. Before that, "tenderness" and "tenderness" have always been two independent idioms.
The word "tenderness" comes from Book of Rites, Wang Shi. Among them is the language of "respect and gentleness". The general explanation of "tenderness" is "gentle article". The word "Wen" here is a verb, and its meaning is probably equivalent to the word "Wen" that we usually say, such as "reviewing the old and learning the new", "warming the middle and invigorating qi", "reviewing lessons", "warming wine" and "warming house" (that is, warming house in spoken language).
The word "Erya" was originally the title of China's earliest dictionary. This book was written by many scholars in the pre-Qin and Han Dynasties. Because this book "Exegesis on Famous Things, Differences between Ancient and Modern Ming Dynasty" has a series of positive solutions of ancient and modern characters, it enjoys a high reputation in Lin Xue.
As far as the meaning of "Er Ya" is concerned, the so-called "Er" should be the general term of "You" which is famous far and near. The "near" here means "close" and "close". The so-called "elegance" is a general term for "chivalry". "Xia" means "Xia", "Shang" and "Zhou" in China before Qin Dynasty. At that time, the unification of China Central Plains in Xia Dynasty was the orthodox origin of China since ancient times. Therefore, in the Han Dynasty, people have used "erya" to praise and describe the purity and elegance of words or articles. The elegance mentioned in Sima Qian's Biography of Historical Records of the Scholars is "the elegance of the article and the depth of exegesis".
In this regard, the so-called "moderate" means "reviewing articles" and "moderate civilization"; The so-called "elegance" means "close to purity" and "close to elegance". Therefore, Pu Songling, "the son of this noble family, is gentle. Will he be a thief? " In other words: this is the son of a celebrity, who has been commenting on articles for a long time, gentle and elegant, close to purity and elegance. Where can he be a thief?
Through the above explanation, the deep meaning of "erya" has been roughly clear. Indeed, only by studying articles in a warm and civilized way for a long time, close to purity and elegance, can we really improve our inner cultivation and gradually acquire a gentle temperament and demeanor.
There is a highly commercialized civilized ecological environment in contemporary society. Many things are "packaged" and "sold" as commodities.
Personally, I am quite disgusted with the word "packaging" that frequently appears in the mass media. Contrary to this utilitarian view from the outside to the inside, what China people call "repairing the heart and supplementing the phase" is much better.
I think, instead of "packaging" from the outside to the inside, it is better to learn articles in a warm and civilized way for a long time, close to purity and elegance, so as to repair the heart.
This is the so-called "tenderness".
What is the pronoun of tenderness? Tender, tender, tender, tender, tender. These can be adopted. Thank you! O(∩_∩)O~~
How to make sentences with ice, green, jade and tenderness? 1. Plum blossom's pure and clean personality is admirable!
My female classmate is as pure as crystal.
Usually gentle, he danced after hearing the news.
Look at this gentle young man reading under the tree.
Seek a gentle and meaningful pen name, Gu Zhen, to show how a gentle person dresses. Women wear more skirts, half choose Fuji skirts or big skirts, and even more clothes choose solid colors; Male, wearing shirts, tunic suits or casual clothes, and glasses.
Seek adoption
Make sentences with dignified manners and gentle manners; Animals in Dutch pastures are carefree: the old cow is dignified, like the cow's parents, and the calf runs before and after, like a naughty child.
Gentle and sincere; Xiao Li's mother is a teacher. She is very gentle with people. Everyone says that she is a gentle person.
Is it better to be a gentle and steady man or a lively man? Well, all men will become stable at a certain age. Have you ever seen anyone who is still alive in his forties?
If you get married and find a husband, of course you like it. If you are steady and plain, you will like it. If you are lively, you can't stand taking care of you like your mother.
Therefore, there is no better personality, but which one you are more willing to accept and get along with.
Personally, I choose a gentle man, but after getting along for a long time, I find that he is very lively in private and in front of me. He can be said to be a naughty type, but he is an out-and-out leader in the company, and he is indeed a leader. Hey. . . So, choose the one who loves you.
He made sentences gently while dancing. He is usually gentle. He danced and danced after hearing the news.