For example, if a person feels that "I am worthless", he should pay more attention to such relevant information in his life and make sure that he is worthless. Maybe it's the conclusion of fate. Even though I am sure that I have the ability and brains, I think that "fate doesn't care for me at all, and I will still fail no matter how smart I am". As this negative belief implies, slowly, looking at the world will be much more negative.
Although MuYanZi and Kan Kan talk here, in fact, so do I.. After entering adolescence, I have always felt that I am God's abandoned baby and I can't get any luck. Probably because he was cheated and abandoned by his biological father. All my self-confidence comes from my mother and my own mind, and the inferiority and timidity hidden in my heart may come from my miserable childhood.
Psychological theory, the core belief comes from infancy, once established, in the long years after the outbreak of amazing power. If a person is often criticized, then he may be criticized forever. If a person is always told that he will not succeed, he will often fail.
So what exactly should we do?
Test the negative core beliefs in your mind
Even if there are few positive experiences in childhood, it does not mean that negative core beliefs will accompany us all our lives. I feel lucky to write here, at least we have a chance to change all this. Test the correctness of core beliefs and question harmful beliefs. Come on, Mu Yanzi will play the role of psychological counselor this time and make a demonstration. What about you? Come to me for advice.
You: I feel useless.
Me: Why do you think so? What evidence is there? Where is the source?
You: My family says I'm lazy and useless. No job, no money, eating old people every day. You see, some children become the ceo of the company in their teens.
Me: Have you noticed? Saying that you are useless often comes from someone else's mouth, and you feel useless. You are comparing yourself with others. First of all, people who comment on you may not have accurate judgments. Secondly, people who are admitted to Harvard at a young age have better birth conditions than you. If you want to compare, find a group with high comparability. Can you make a list of things you can do?
You: I can mop the floor and do other unimportant housework. I can comfort others and help primary school students with their homework. ......
Try to turn negative core beliefs into positive core beliefs.
Although the negative core beliefs are stubborn, as long as you have determination and courage, you can turn Gan Kun around!
When our parents quarreled when we were young, we might choose to hide and escape, but when we grow up, we will stay and make things clear and actively face communication and solve them.
This is a kind of growth. Personally, I think that people with depression generally have maladjustment to society and fear of intimate relationship. Our first reaction to a thing is to be full of certain emotions, rather than thinking about solving problems. For example, many people with depression are afraid of quarreling, and watching others quarrel will make them feel at a loss. Not to mention that they choose to quarrel. It really doesn't make much sense to quarrel, but depressed people often choose not to quarrel for this reason, but are afraid of quarreling. This is due to some kind of depression in childhood. For example, when I was a child, I saw my parents quarreling, or my father beat my mother. I am afraid to face it, because I am timid. In the process of growing up, these negative beliefs have not changed. Even at the age of 30, I will be as afraid of quarreling as a child.
The so-called fight is to kiss, scold and scold love, and only those who are not afraid of quarreling can understand it.
How to transform these beliefs? You can try to stay alone in a quiet room, recall those timid moments when you were a child, and imagine what you would do if you were bolder.
Establish positive core beliefs for yourself through "spells"
Since some negative core beliefs are not based on facts, so are positive core beliefs. In order to get rid of negative core beliefs, we sometimes need to go upstream. For example, "I can do it", "I am the best", "I can be admitted to Peking University" and "I can study abroad". Some patients have too strong negative core beliefs. When they saw me say this, they thought: this fool, isn't it self-deception to say these words? ! I can still deal with you. In fact, these "spells" can refute the negative thoughts in your brain and arouse the bell in your brain. Whenever you encounter difficulties, give yourself such a hint and tell yourself that things are useless and so bad will naturally cause you to think positively about yourself.