Arlene said that she had another big fight with her mother-in-law the other day. Because Arlene refused to help her mother-in-law pay the mortgage, her mother-in-law had to kick her out and not let her live at home, saying that she would not be qualified to live in that house without paying the mortgage. It is precisely because of this that Arlene and her mother-in-law had a very fierce quarrel.
Arlene said, in fact, what worries and annoys her most is not her mother-in-law's calculation, nor her mother-in-law's trouble, but her husband's attitude towards this matter, because her husband actually said, "He listens to his mother and then wants Arlene to move out alone."
It was also because of her husband's attitude that Arlene had the idea of divorce. In fact, Arlene said, this is not the first time they forced her to repay the mortgage. It was first on the eve of Arlene's wedding. On that day, her mother-in-law said to Arlene, "Daughter-in-law, after you get married, move to a new house, and then you can pay the mortgage yourself. You earn a lot of money anyway. "
Arlene was particularly angry after listening to her mother-in-law. Although she made a lot of money, the house was bought by her in-laws and the name on the real estate license was also her in-laws. So Arlene directly angered her mother-in-law, "I don't help the poor because that house has nothing to do with me."
At that time, after hearing Arlene's answer, although her mother-in-law looked pale, she didn't say anything. So Arlene thought her mother-in-law had compromised and got married the next day. But I don't know, less than a year after they got married, her mother-in-law clamored for her to repay the mortgage, saying that they were under too much pressure and their son didn't earn much money, so the pressure to repay the loan was particularly great, and Arlene helped them share some of the pressure.
Hearing her mother-in-law's words, Arlene refused directly. Arlene said that although she acquiesced in her husband's mortgage repayment, it did not mean that she was willing to repay the mortgage. It was also because Arlene refused again and again that Arlene's husband began to force her again and again. Perhaps seeing her husband under too much pressure, Arlene said to her husband, "I can repay the mortgage and let them transfer the house to us, otherwise I feel insecure."
It was Arlene's words that made her mother-in-law particularly angry. That day, Arlene's mother-in-law said to her, "You are a real person. You really came for the house. If you really live a down-to-earth life, the house will still be yours, no matter whose name it is. " Arlene was very angry when she heard her mother-in-law's words, so she quarreled with her mother-in-law many times.
Arlene said that her husband has only one attitude towards this matter, that is, when parents are old, they should share more and take the initiative to bear these pressures, otherwise it would be unfilial. Arlene said that when she heard her husband's words, she was particularly desperate, so she would never agree to help her mother-in-law repay the mortgage, just as her mother-in-law would not transfer the house to her.
Also under Arlene's repeated refusal, Arlene's mother-in-law lost patience and stopped asking Arlene to repay the mortgage. Instead, she asked Arlene to move out immediately, even saying, "This house is not her money, so she is not qualified to live." For this matter, Arlene's husband has been standing behind her mother, so this made Arlene particularly angry and had the idea of divorce.
Arlene said that although she kept saying that she wanted a divorce, in fact, she still couldn't bear to part with this marriage and didn't want to go through two marriages. So she asked me, "Should she get a divorce?" ?
Bian Xiao has something to say:
It is said that "it is better to tear down ten temples than ruin a marriage"! But for Arlene's marriage, I think it's better for her to get divorced, because high-quality singles are definitely better than low-quality marriages. In such a family, it is impossible for her to be happy. Everyone treats her like an outsider. Not only her mother-in-law is calculating her, but also her husband and mother-in-law are calculating her. It is difficult for her to be happy.
In my opinion, I don't think there is anything wrong with Arlene's practice, because she has no obligation to repay the mortgage for her mother-in-law, because the house has nothing to do with her. It is her mutual affection to be willing to repay the mortgage, and it is also her duty not to repay the mortgage. No one is qualified to make irresponsible remarks.
In addition, Arlene's mother-in-law and husband are not qualified to drive Arlene out of the house at all, because although Arlene has not paid the mortgage, her husband has been paying the mortgage, which proves that Arlene has also paid back the money, because her husband's money is the joint property of their husband and wife, and some of it belongs to Arlene, so Arlene's mother-in-law is not qualified to drive Arlene out.
Everything Arlene's mother-in-law said was actually a moral kidnapping to Arlene, that is, it was easy to stand and talk, because she couldn't do it herself. Why did she ask Arlene for it? If she really doesn't care about this, why not just transfer the house to Arlene? Why do you calculate Arlene like this?
Besides, Arlene said that she could not bear the marriage. In fact, this seems particularly ridiculous to me, because her husband doesn't love her so much at all, not only has no sense of responsibility, but also has no responsibility. I don't know what Arlene loves this man.
In my opinion, a man who loves a woman will never let the woman he loves bear all the pressures and risks. They will only take all the responsibilities for the woman spontaneously, instead of pushing all the suffering choices to the woman.
For Arlene, now she has only two choices. The first is to choose divorce directly, then drag down this unfortunate family and find happiness again. The second is to let her mother-in-law transfer the house to her. If her mother-in-law is willing to agree, then Arlene can still accept it, because Arlene is still unwilling to divorce.
Although it is said that "poverty leads to change", I still want to advise my mothers-in-law: "Don't think about calculating your daughter-in-law, because no matter how smart you are, the last person to regret it must be yourself, because when you calculated your daughter-in-law, you also destroyed your son's marriage in disguise."
Everyone says "ten years to see the mother-in-law, ten years to see the daughter-in-law". The attitude of your mother-in-law to her daughter-in-law today is the attitude of her daughter-in-law to her mother-in-law in the future, so don't over-calculate, show sincerity to treat each other, and you will get good results. If you calculate blindly, you will only harm others and yourself.