The topic content is like this:
One of the husband and wife is from a poor family, and their life is quite embarrassing. And the other family is richer. There is a big gap. Should we get married?
To tell the truth, it must be irresponsible to get married without hesitation.
Therefore, if two people want to go to the end, they must seriously consider each other's family circumstances.
0 1
Before I say why, let me tell a story about a female friend.
My friend Xiaomei, a sophomore, is with her boyfriend, who is one year older than her. Xiao Zhang is honest and kind to Xiao Mei. He will take care of people.
Up to now, there is nothing wrong with their relationship, and both of them love each other very much.
But the real problem is-
Xiao Zhang's family is in business, and his family is not bad, but later his business failed and went bankrupt. After bankruptcy, Xiao Zhang's parents didn't find a new job and stayed at home. Besides, their parents like gambling, so they owe a lot of money at home. After they got into debt, their parents sold everything they could at home. I heard that after paying off the debt, it is estimated that the only valuable thing at home is the house at home.
Although all the money has been paid off, the problem is that Xiao Zhang's parents still like gambling every day. Undoubtedly, this gambling personality can easily lead to the problem of financial exhaustion in the future.
Xiao Zhang is quite honest. All the debts in the family are from his girlfriend Xiaomei, so there is nothing to hide. Besides, he said that if Xiaomei could find someone better than him, he would let Xiaomei go.
Compared with other couples' practices, for example, some people deliberately hide some facts and even make up lies just to be with their boyfriends/girlfriends, which is very selfish and really jaw-dropping.
All in all, in terms of personality, Xiao Zhang is really good.
02
In addition to family problems, there is also a real problem: boyfriend's lack of ability and slow career development.
Xiao Zhang graduated earlier than Xiao Mei, perhaps because of his lack of ability and youthful spirit, so he has not been able to find a reliable and stable job until now. Since graduation, he has changed jobs several times, with a pitiful monthly salary of two or three thousand yuan.
I can't support myself at present, let alone the consumption of dating. Therefore, they have become very frugal when they go out, and some expenses are also paid by Xiaomei herself. Now Xiao Lian can't afford birthday or holiday gifts.
In contrast, Xiaomei's family is much better than her boyfriend's, and their families are different, which makes Xiao Zhang feel a little inferior and guilty. She often says to Xiaomei: I'm sorry that I wronged you and failed to let you live a good life. I must work hard.
But the reality is that you can't see the future. Xiaomei knew his predicament and said with a wry smile, nothing, nothing. You can do it.
Xiaomei actually wanted to break up, but she couldn't say it. The biggest reason is that she is afraid that she will never find a man who is so kind to her again.
Xiaomei hasn't told her parents about Xiao Zhang's family, because she knows that if her parents know that Xiao Zhang's parents are addicted to gambling and debt, they will separate.
So Xiaomei has been struggling, crying several times and asking the author what to do.
After all, when two people are the same age, girls will want to get married first, while boys are in the period of career development, which is a problem.
Xiao Mei is worried that if Xiao Zhang is still in such a state that he can't see the future when he gets married, and the man's parents are heavily in debt, then her parents will definitely disapprove of her being with him. But she said herself that she could not bear to part with this relationship.
After listening to this story, do you think Xiao Mei should break up?
My advice to Xiao Mei is: Split.
03
When two people were together, they were attracted to each other at first, so they talked about love. Falling in love is like a fairy tale. If you want to be a princess, you can be a princess as long as the prince loves you.
However, marriage is different. Marriage needs not only love but also bread.
From love to marriage, in addition to vows of eternal love, it is also inseparable from the daily life of three meals a day. In marriage, pure love should be preserved with enough material.
There are many people who love each other very much and don't consider some practical problems. They didn't think clearly before they got married, which led to many problems, constant quarrels and even became enemies after divorce.
Here, I am not calling on a girl to marry a well-off boy.
After all, there are some special cases, such as the boyfriend's family is well-off, but his parents are profiteering for profit, and girls are bullied at home after marriage. Such examples abound. Therefore, such a giant must not enter.
So as a girl, how should I choose? Boys can also learn from the following views, in the same way.
If this man is not well-off, but he is really good to you, with an income of 100, and is willing to spend 90 yuan on you, then you can consider him as your marriage partner.
But besides his kindness to you, the other person's family is also a factor to consider when getting married.
If the boyfriend's parents are hardworking and content, then such a cold door can be married, because practical optimism makes people rich. Even though he is poor now, as long as he is enterprising and positive, I believe he will succeed in the future.
But if your boyfriend's parents are in a situation similar to Xiao Zhang's, you should think carefully. Xiao Zhang's parents' gambling habits reflect the incorrect values of parents and family. Now that the man's parents are heavily in debt, his parents should have realized the harm of gambling, quit as soon as possible and start over, but his parents did not have such an understanding and were once addicted. This kind of family atmosphere, if two people get married, is actually extremely unfavorable to their married life.
Even if I don't live with my in-laws in the future, since two people decide to get married, it's not a matter of two people, but a matter of two families.
Married, everyone is a family, with strong blood ties, and the man's family economy has problems. The woman must not sit idly by, otherwise the neighbors will definitely say that the woman is heartless.
Therefore, when talking about marriage, we must look at each other's family circumstances.
Look at the family, not to see whether his family is rich and powerful, but to see his family's behavior, lifestyle and family atmosphere, because these are inseparable from his life and will also be related to you.
If the relationship is good, it is a princess in a fairy tale.
More importantly, you can be a princess if you marry the right person.