Recently, I heard someone say that "communication is simple", but I don't agree. Speaking is simple, but communication means exchanging opinions or appreciating with others, which requires higher skills. Communicating with people requires us to listen and speak skillfully, not to speak without scruple. It is even more difficult to communicate with those who are full of fear, anger or depression, because we will be more helpless under the control of this emotion. But whether at home or at work, don't despair or give up on your communication barriers! Even the best communicator is honed bit by bit. Here we provide some tips for your reference.
Don't fight back even if the other person looks angry with you. Other people's emotions or reactions are likely to be caused by fear or frustration, just like you. Take a deep breath, then quietly count to 10, and let the other person vent his emotions until he is willing to say what he really thinks.
You don't need to know all the answers. It is also good to say "I don't know". What do you want to know, just say it, and then say what you think. Or you are willing to find the answer to the question with each other.
Respond positively to facts or feelings, not antagonistic. For example, instead of saying "Hey, I'm working" or "It's not my job" (it's easy to get angry), it's better to say "Tell me more about what you care about" or "I understand your disappointment". Seize every opportunity to communicate, because many times you may alienate others because of a little absentmindedness.
People want to hear whether you agree with them, not what you think. Many people are complaining that others don't listen to themselves, but forget that they don't listen to others! You can give all your opinions to show that you are listening, and say something like this: A. "Tell me more about what you care about" B. "What's wrong with what you care about?" C. "I'm very interested in what you just said. Can you tell me what makes you believe so much? " D. "Why are you so satisfied with one thing?"
Remembering what others say and what we hear may lead to misunderstanding! Our personal analysis, assumptions, judgments and beliefs may distort the facts we hear. To make sure you really understand, repeat what you hear and what you think, and ask, "Do I understand correctly?" If you have an emotional reaction to someone's words, just say it directly and ask for more information: "I may not fully understand what you said, but I understood it in my own way." I think you mean XXX. Is that what you mean? "
Frankly admit the troubles and mistakes you have caused. Make a commitment to the deadline. If you need others' help, use your energy to influence them. For example, if you want to update someone's computer and work in her office, you can say, "I know it's impolite to bother you at this inconvenient time, but I will appreciate your cooperation." Our maintenance work can restore your working system to normal. We'll come to you at 3 pm and finish the work at 5 pm. "
Don't point fingers until someone asks you. It's really a headache to say something you know will be good for someone, but you can't say it. Use euphemistic expressions, such as "It may be …" or "I have been in a similar situation. If you find it useful, I would like to share more of my experience with you." All of the above are better than saying "what should you do".
Seek common ground while reserving differences. What do you two like (try not to disagree)? Say your point of view and find out the similarities. For example, "I think this plan will make you successful."
Remember that change will bring pressure to people. Use your enthusiasm to influence your employees, and they will not change or get out of control. In this chaotic world, this can make our mediocre life warmer. So if you are around someone, or you need him to do something for you, tell him as much as possible when you need help. If possible, tell him you want to help him, too.
Active thinking and concentration. We always look at problems from our own perspective, or give our own experience according to the environment. Many people who are considered successful, including professional athletes and literati, have positive thoughts. Ask yourself, "What's good about this thing?" Or "What can I learn from it?" Stay optimistic. Don't forget to take different ways to reduce stress and make your work more enjoyable.
Most people, including yourself, are self-centered. This is not a bad thing, which enables us to protect ourselves. Don't think that anyone will know your selfishness. Say what is most important to you and ask others what is most important to them. This will lay a good foundation for exchanges between your.
Improve your listening skills. Many people think their listening is good, but the fact is that most people don't listen at all-they just talk and think about what to say next. Listening means asking questions and getting rid of distractions, such as what to say next, who to meet next, what happened outside, and so on. If someone has a thorn in his words, it is often because he has a fear hidden in his heart. All they want you to do is have a real and friendly conversation.
Everyone who lives in the city has a sense of alienation, because each of us has built a wall psychologically, isolated from each other and self-guaranteed. We are eager to find a friend who will listen.
People usually only hear what they like to hear, or explain what they hear in their own way. Often this is not the real meaning of the other party, so people can only get 25% of the real meaning when they "listen".
In order to improve people's communication, we should advocate "active listening" The so-called active listening means actively listening to what the other party is saying and mastering the real facts to solve the problem, not just passively listening to what the other party is saying.
When customers speak, they know how to nod their heads in the middle and clap their hands properly, just like putting a little soy sauce when eating, which will definitely make the food more delicious. If you want to be a leader in the sales industry, you must work hard on your listening. If the customers don't talk, your business will surely fail.
If you can't understand what others say, it may be because you missed a point mentally. If you don't listen attentively and actively, you will get the wrong information. Concentrate on what the speaker says and questions, and send a clear signal that he cares about what he says, so as to ensure two-way communication.
When listening to people, you must communicate with them as much as possible, just like talking. You should listen attentively, but if you don't make it clear, it is impossible for the speaker to know.
If you don't respond, if you don't respond, the speaker can't be sure whether you understand. Showing that you are interested in the content is a kind of feedback, which can encourage the speaker to continue. Here are some simple and effective ways to show that you are listening.
Show your interest.
You can use the following methods to show that you are interested in what you say:
Keep eye contact: When listening, you must look into each other's eyes. People judge whether you are listening and absorbing what you say according to whether you look at each other.
Let people finish their sentences: Let people finish their sentences completely without interruption, which shows that you attach great importance to the content of communication. People always understand interrupting others as respecting their own ideas, but it is actually disrespectful to each other.
Agree: Nodding or smiling can indicate agreement with what is being said, indicating that you agree with the speaker's point of view. People need to feel that you are listening.
Focus: Put aside distractions (such as pencils, key chains, etc.). ) You can doodle or play, and you won't be disturbed. People always think that doodling, fiddling with paper or looking at watches are absent-minded-even if you are serious.
Relax yourself: Take a relaxed posture (such as tilting your head slightly to one side, or tilting your center of gravity to one side), and you will get the impression that what they say makes you concentrate.
All these signals enable the people you communicate with to judge whether you are listening attentively to them.
Check your comprehension.
To check whether you have heard the information clearly and correctly (especially when you are on the phone), you can do the following:
Explain the message: repeat what you have heard in your own words, and you can determine whether you have received the message accurately.
Ask questions: By asking questions, you can check your understanding of information and let the speaker know that you are actively listening.
The above two-way activities can not only make you get the correct information, but also make the speaker focus on what he really wants to communicate.
The principle of listening
Stand in each other's position and listen carefully:
Everyone has his position and values, so you must stand in the other person's position, listen carefully to everything he says, don't criticize or judge the other person's ideas with your own values, and keep an understanding attitude with the other person.
Be able to confirm whether you understand what the other party said:
You must focus on repeating what the other person said to ensure that your understanding is consistent with the other person's, such as "Did you mean what you just said?" And "I don't know if I heard you right, you mean ...".
Be able to show sincere and careful attitude and listen to each other's words;
Look into each other's eyes sincerely. Eyes are the windows to the soul. If you look around, look at your watch and look at the information at hand when the customer is talking, your business is likely to be ruined.
Listening skills
When a salesperson listens to a customer's conversation, the most common weakness is that he only pretends to listen to the customer's conversation and can't wait for the opportunity in his heart. He wanted to say his own words and completely abandoned the important weapon of "listening". You can't hear customers' intentions and expectations, and your sales are like an arrow that has lost its direction.
Joe Joe girard sold a car to a customer, and the transaction went well. When the customer was ready to pay for a car, another salesperson chatted with Gillard about yesterday's basketball game. Gillard talked and laughed with his companions with relish and reached for the car. Unexpectedly, the customer suddenly turned around and left without even buying a car. Gillard has been thinking hard all day, wondering why the customer suddenly gave up the car he had chosen. At 1 1 in the evening, he finally couldn't help calling the customer and asking the reason why the customer suddenly changed his mind. The customer told him unhappily on the phone: "I talked to you about our little son when I paid this afternoon." He has just been admitted to the University of Michigan, which is the pride of our family, but you didn't hear it at all, just talking to your partner about the basketball game. " Gillard understands that the root cause of this business failure is that she didn't listen carefully to the customers talking about her favorite son.
Listening is one of the good ways to sell. Japanese sales king Ichihara said: "Listening is more important than eloquence for sales." Salespeople can gain more recognition from customers by listening.
How to establish effective communication with customers is a long-term problem that puzzles salespeople. Are you pursuing short-term sales success? Or do you want to maintain a long-term relationship with customers? Can you successfully sell any products as you wish? Or, do you know what customers need? Do you know the skills of communicating with customers? Which communication method is the most effective? There are three different communication modes here-courtesy, skill improvement and personalized service. Which communication method is more suitable for your company?
In order to better understand these three modes, here is a simple example. There is a dairy shop with three service personnel, Xiao Li, Da Li and Lao Li. When you approached Xiao Li, Xiao Li smiled and took the initiative to ask questions, greeting your weather for a while, talking about the children's recent situation for a while, and talking about something unrelated to buying milk. Xiao Li's method is to be polite to the guests. Li said in another way, can I help you? What kind of yogurt do you want? We offer preferential treatment to our long-term customers. If the temperature is higher than 30℃, you can come here to drink a cup of yogurt for free every day. Do you want to take part in this activity? Da Li's way is to improve his skills. Lao Li's way is more mature and sophisticated. He talks to you about your daily dietary needs and asks what kind of milk you drink, sugary or sugarless. Maybe you are diabetic, maybe you are losing weight? And Lao Li will always find a dairy product that suits him best and tell you how to keep the nutritional content of milk. Lao Li provided a personalized communication mode.
So, which of the above three modes do you think is more suitable for your company? Which method is the most effective? What are the internal relations between these three modes? The following survey may be quite different from your intuition.
One of the questions is whether the non-verbal services used by salespeople are always consistent with the verbal services. If the two are consistent, these three models will play a very good role. Studies have shown that skills upgrading can bring more benefits to enterprises.
However, if the provided verbal and non-verbal service information is inconsistent, customers tend to believe the non-verbal service information. In other words, if a salesperson is trained to look polite, but his body language may reveal that he doesn't like his job or deal with customers, then polite hospitality will lose its meaning. Similarly, skills upgrading will not achieve the expected results because of the unfriendly or careless sales staff. Only personalized service can combine verbal and non-verbal information perfectly, because the salesperson and the customer have established a deep relationship due to long-term communication.
The most important oral communication of salespeople is the opening and closing remarks. Because it is easy for people to remember what happened at the beginning and end when communicating. Therefore, when communicating with customers, salespeople should pay special attention to the polite greetings at the beginning and end.
Polite hospitality pays attention to immediate response, including instant time, instant space and instant language. The so-called instant time is to greet customers who come in in time. For example, as long as customers come to the sales window 1 meter, they should say hello within 5 seconds, so that customers can feel your warm reception. Space instant is close to customers in distance. Intimacy varies from place to place with different cultural backgrounds. The immediacy of language means that when customers express problems in different ways, they can respond quickly, instead of saying "that's not my department's business" or "I'm not the person you are looking for" Small language differences often lead to completely different results. Therefore, it is better to use positive language, such as "Let's see what the problem is", which is much more polite than using negative language "This problem needs to be considered".
For skills improvement, the investigators listed at least 15 ways to master the communication skills between customers and salespeople. Such as commitment, threat, sense of honor, positive respect, negative respect and so on, are all related to the weakness of human nature. Salespeople should fully understand the characteristics of human nature and integrate them into the sales language to stimulate consumers' psychological expectations such as being loved, not missing the transaction, having a unique vision and being fashionable.
The survey shows that most successful marketing terms have the following rules: create demand-arouse interest-arouse desire (through any kind of human demand), and finally take action.
Non-verbal information can even affect the potential emotions of customers in the process of communication with customers. For example, at cocktail parties, waiters with big smiles get tips several times more than waiters with few smiles on average. Similarly, you can get an extra tip of 10% by putting the change back in the customer's hand or patting the customer on the shoulder when paying the bill. Being close to customers, or crouching down to make eye contact with customers, will also increase the amount of tips.
In a word, personalized communication mode is the most effective mode, but it needs more training and practice. And like other models, its effectiveness will be greatly reduced by the subtle discrimination of sales staff. The survey of retail industry shows that obese customers, customers who don't pay attention to clothes, customers who are different from salespeople (such as gender, race, grade, age) and provocative customers will not get timely and polite service. The service for women is not as fast as that for men, and the service for the physically disabled is better than that for the healthy. All these show that only through training can the differences in services be gradually eliminated.