Parents quarreled and advised them to send messages to their father. People are the most complex creatures in the world, because people have obvious emotional changes and emotional changes, and different people will have different feelings and influences, which is puzzling. Like things at home. Let's share the text message that my parents quarreled and persuaded to give to my father.
Parents quarrel to persuade SMS 1 Send a message to dad (preferably in tears) to let them know that when an adult quarrels, the child is actually hurt.
Parents always quarrel, what should I do if I get divorced?
First, if there is, I think this is a special way for your parents to get along.
We've been arguing for too many years. Can you get used to not quarreling? It doesn't matter if you are not used to it. It's not that you live with one party. Only such parents can't handle their relationship well, so that their children are deeply affected. Probably two immature people gave birth to two children, but they are still immature.
In fact, even you think their quarrel is childish? They never really wanted to write an agreement? Then stay out of it. Do you find that sometimes the more you persuade, the more fierce and serious you are? Don't interrupt for the time being, it's just an immature catharsis between two people. Which side do you think is more wronged afterwards, and then you can comfort. You have a good idea. You want to be financially independent, but your purpose can be changed.
You can comfort your mother who is fragile in heart and feels that the value of being rewarded is low, and say that when I grow up and have the ability to earn money, I will take care of you, let you enjoy it and make up for the hard work of the previous years. Maybe your mother who has been gnashing her teeth will be moved by you, so that she can no longer rely on her father to get attention, and she will not shout out her grievances from time to time. For example, do something that moves mom.
Dad can also comfort me in this way, and I suggest being as kind as possible to my mother. After all, we are interdependent when we are old. I think grandma must have something wrong with her mother, so her mother has always resented her. This may be because grandma didn't help her when two people formed a new home. Warn them not to influence their younger brother when they are moved by you.
Secondly, if there are few happy moments, it is probably the result of traditional marriage thought. You and your brother have grown up, so you don't need too much pressure at present. Normal, because when you are all grown up, the reason should not be for the children. Not getting divorced can only be their own choice.
To sum up, the heart is more inclined to the first one. Don't worry too much, you can only forgive the trauma caused by two adults who can't solve the problem and communicate. Doing a good job now, repaying mom and dad in the future, taking care of my brother and making this home warmer may be the best answer.
Parents quarrel to persuade text messages to dad. 2 How do parents quarrel?
Understand and tolerate each other.
I think quarreling between two people is a trivial or trivial matter in life. If two people can go to husband and wife, or even stay together until they are old, then they should understand each other and tolerate each other when quarreling. If we can say this concept like children, then parents should consider making concessions.
Empathy, self-reflection
When two parents quarrel, we might as well put this idea into each of them's mind and have a good talk with their parents. If they are on the other side, will something they do or say be unacceptable? Through empathy and further reflection, we can achieve the goal of peace.
Talk to your parents alone and open your heart to each other.
By talking alone, I mean that we need to talk to our father alone, and then objectively tell our mother's shortcomings through our observation, and tell her what she did wrong, get along with her alone, tell her father's shortcomings, explain the shortcomings of two people, and open the knot in each other's hearts.
Recommend some warm-hearted books to them.
The power of books is very powerful. Reading some warm-hearted books can slowly adjust a person's temper, learn to be steady, and learn to understand and tolerate others. When his mind is big enough, his mind will open, so that his hobbies will gradually merge, so that his parents will not quarrel.
Spend more time with your parents and do something they are interested in.
When parents quarrel, we should talk to them more, and then try to do something with them that they are usually happy and interested in, so that the anger in their parents' hearts can be forgotten.
Cook a hot meal.
When parents quarrel, we might as well cook a warm meal. When they quarreled, as children, we slowly walked over and said, "I cooked the meal, and then smiled and took my parents to dinner." When children do this, I think parents should stop arguing!
Remember, in the process of parents quarreling, don't be influenced by your emotions. Don't say that parents are not good. We advise you, so it's important to keep a good mood. When you encounter this kind of problem, you must understand the reasons for the quarrel and then communicate with your parents to solve it.
How will the contradiction between parents affect children?
The so-called parental conflict, as the name implies, is the conflict between parents. In detail, parental conflict is a verbal dispute or physical attack caused by disagreement or other reasons.
Some studies also show that the conflict between parents will have a huge negative impact on children's emotions, cognition, interpersonal relationships, academic performance and so on.
Some people even say that long-term conflicts between parents will have a greater impact on children than divorce.
In the process of consultation, I often meet some children who are in conflict with their parents. Moreover, when these children describe family problems, they will be particularly cold, as if they were talking about what happened to others. Therefore, many people will feel that parents' problems seem to have no influence on their children, and the children are still doing well.
That was not the case. Just like once there was a girl whose parents were not divorced, but separated for many years. She told me an experience of her own.
Once my parents quarreled, my father picked her up and stood on the edge of the balcony, and then yelled at the mother: "Don't argue with me! If you quarrel with me again, I will throw her down and make you regret it for the rest of your life. "
As he spoke, he went to the window. The girl cried when she talked about this experience. When her mood stabilized, she told me, "This happened when I was five years old. I thought I had forgotten it long ago, but when I said it just now, I had the same fear and tension as before. I haven't forgotten. "
This is actually the reason why she has been unable to establish intimate relations with the opposite sex. Because from her parents, she not only didn't see love, but saw resentment and threats. All this made her unable to trust a person completely.
In the family, children are often the weakest and most vulnerable, and they need the infinite care of their parents. Only under such careful education will children gradually feel safe and finally dare to face their own lives.
But if there are problems, contradictions and family problems between parents, it will be difficult to raise a problem-free child. The shadow that parents bring to their children will always be with them, making it difficult for them to deal with. Even if the child grows up and has the ability to repair himself, it is very likely that he will struggle in the shadow of the past all his life, and this process of struggle will make him scarred.
The contradiction between parents is not terrible, but it should be solved by itself, and children should not judge.
We often encounter such scenes in our lives. Mom and dad quarreled in front of the children and asked them, "Who are you wrong?" "
From a rational point of view, children's life experience and experience are insufficient. Many things between parents, children don't know what happened. What he saw was that his parents were quarrelling. As for why and how to do it, the children don't know. What's more, as the old saying goes, it is difficult for an honest official to break housework, not to mention being a child.
From the perceptual point of view, mom and dad are the closest people to children in the world. At this time, it is difficult for children to make a choice if they have to stand on which side to say who is wrong. Because such a choice means that the child is on the opposite side of the party he thinks is wrong, and they are close people. Emotionally speaking, supporting anyone is not the best result.
This practice of parents will make children in a dilemma, but it will also bring endless pressure to children. This is why many parents divorce, and the children not only can't talk, but feel that it is long overdue for divorce, because the children are caught in the middle and have long been in pain.
Although in a family, parents and children are independent individuals, parents should solve their own problems instead of handing them over to their children. Because the child has no obligation to deal with it, and because the child does not have such ability.
Parents should adjust the way of dealing with contradictions, which is also an opportunity for children to learn.
Just like the parents mentioned at the beginning of the article, they will fight because of the conflict while driving. It is conceivable that if they are in the family, they may be more shy.
But parents are role models for their children. Parents are telling their children how to grow up. Even the way parents deal with contradictions is to tell their children how to deal with contradictions in the future.
Bandura has a famous theory of social behavior. Children will learn this behavior by observing other people's behavior, which will be transformed into their own behavior. If parents take a negative approach, such as violent settlement or quarrel.
Then, children will do the same in the face of conflicts in the future; If parents deal with contradictions in a positive way, then children will actively face difficulties and contradictions in life in the future.
There was a news that a teenager broke his mother's head with a hammer while she was sleeping, resulting in her death.
It is inconceivable that a teenager should do such a cruel thing to his mother. After investigation, it is found that teenage mothers are usually strong and strict with their children. The child's grades are not bad, but during that time, his grades dropped because he was addicted to playing games.
Seeing her son like this, the mother said to the child, "If you don't study hard, I will kill your puppy." When the child heard his mother say this, he also said to his mother, "If you kill the dog, I will kill you."
After that, the conflict intensified, and the mother really killed the puppy on the spot, and the teenager also killed his mother.
Such a tragedy did not happen between parents, but it must be said that the mother's behavior gave the child a "demonstration". When the mother ignores the emotion between the child and the pet and makes excessive behavior, the child is angry and sad, and imitates the mother's behavior, which leads to tragedy.
Both children and mothers have problems in the way they deal with problems. In the face of conflict, parents must adopt a positive attitude.
However, what is a positive method? It's actually quite simple. The criterion of judgment is not to let the conflict escalate.
Home is a place to talk about feelings, not just reason, so no matter what kind of contradiction occurs, parents should not beat and scold. Views can collide and problems can be communicated, but just don't forget to let love flow in the family.
When parents are in conflict and angry with each other, they can not communicate and express their opinions, and try to calm themselves down.
After that, wait until the mood drops, and then seriously think about where the contradiction that leads to the quarrel is, and whether this contradiction can be reconciled;
Finally, the two men sat together again and discussed what to do about it.
Moreover, if possible, it is best for parents to handle it in the absence of their children. If the child comes home and finds that his parents are not in the right state, parents can simply tell the child what happened and how the parents solved it.
If quarreling in front of children is inevitable, parents should not worry, but we should make up for it afterwards. For example, it is wrong to say to children, "Our state was not adjusted very well just now. We will try our best to adjust ourselves and avoid similar situations from happening again. "
At the same time, parents should also pay attention to adjusting their emotions in time, and don't vent their emotions on their children and let them become "scapegoats".