In the morning class, the teacher led himself to do a meditation, quietly imagining the three people who are most troubled by his current relationship. Who are their names? Think about your relationship with TA. How do you feel? What physical feeling? If you rate your relationship, how much would you rate it?
This is a clear self-assessment form. I am a little sleepy in meditation, but I can still answer all the questions in my mind, because dealing with all kinds of relationships is also my important goal in 20 19. I believe that the completion of these four modules will be of great help to deal with various relationships, and my self-personality will be more perfect and mature.
I admire the setting of teacher Cheng Baiyi's league building. The design is ingenious and entertaining. Without the stiff feeling of group building in the last class, the three groups grew up collectively by sticking gum, and then let everyone remember the names of the group members by wearing candied haws. The novelty of this link design made me deeply see Mr. Bai Yi's intention. Admire is gratitude!
Teacher Duan's lectures all day are really wonderful. What attracts me most is that knowledge is too practical and grounded.
What troubles are there in life?
1, unwilling to face it
2. Unwilling to accept
3. Unwilling to let go
When a person is unwilling to face those people, things and things, there is no chance to really see the needs and feelings behind this person; When you don't want to face those things, you can't see the truth behind them.
When a person does not accept himself or others, then he does not consider the border issue. For some things, some people accept, he will feel helpless and even forced to accept. However, that's someone else's problem. TA is TA's helper in life. Allow yourself to experience this experience, and also allow others to experience TA's unique and distinctive life. Willing to make the person you love suffer, all experiences are experiences, and all pains are packaged gifts.
Unwilling to let go. It is a deep obsession, a strong desire for control, and a lot of insecurity. Especially in parenting education, it is safe and correct to try to shape children into their ideal appearance and let them develop according to the bright and smooth road designed by themselves. Children may develop according to their parents' expectations at a very young age, but when children reach adolescence and their self-awareness is established, t a will not develop as carefully designed by their parents.
Look at what is worrying behind your control. Afraid of what? How often will you put your past life experience on the people, things and things you are facing now? Will what you are worried about really happen? Everything outside is a reflection of your heart. See where your inner sense of security is missing? What beliefs and rules are limiting yourself?
Second, the signal:
1, incompetence, ignorance-behavior level.
I don't have the ability to do it, mostly because I was suppressed, arranged and restricted too much in the process of growing up, and I gradually formed self-denial, didn't believe in my own ability, didn't get deep trust from my parents, didn't get full permission, and didn't believe in my ability to do everything well.
At the same time, the pursuit of perfection and idealization is also one of the reasons why I feel I can't do it. Teacher Li Zhongying said: Perfectionism is the best way to commit suicide. Therefore, there is no binary opposition between good and bad, only good and better, everything is just right and everything is the best arrangement. Allow others to truly experience the life of TA; Allow yourself to be imperfect, not live in the eyes of others, and live your true self.
2, unwilling, unqualified-psychological level.
Unwilling, not qualified, just not qualified. The reason may be that I was subtly influenced and hypnotized by my parents' behavior when I was a child, or I was restrained by the hidden system dynamics.
Many people want something consciously. For example, many people want to have a lot of money, but their subconscious mind doesn't want it. Through systematic arrangement, "money" means not looking at TA, or that TA doesn't go near money at all. Some people may have money in their hands and can't stay; Some people don't want their own money at all. It suddenly occurred to me that I often do this. I don't want my own money Open a shop with friends after work, and many colleagues, relatives and friends will use our things. However, when the work is finished, I never take the initiative to ask others for it, and when they want to keep accounts, I rarely send the contract to others on time under repeated urging, sometimes it takes months to get the money back. I used to feel that I was procrastinating and regarded these things as things I didn't like. But today, after listening to the teacher's explanation of this part, I found that this problem may not be the reason I thought-procrastination, maybe there is really a power system behind it. Therefore, we need to see the truth and reconcile with it.
Practice with telepathic communication:
1、? Would you please look at me? & lt say it three times >?
B:<b doesn't look and doesn't respond >
? AB exchange role
? AB communication and sharing
2、? look right at me , please. I see you
? Please accept me. ? I accept you too.
? I respect you. I respect you too.
? I love you. ? I love you too.
? ? Follow your heart and do body movements.
Make eye contact and develop with your heart.
This interactive experience directly touches the soul. In the first round, I did B and didn't respond to A. I saw the loss, grievance and helplessness of my partner A. When doing an A, I don't want to see my A in the face of my repeated requests. I think I saw my partner. I was so angry that I couldn't wait to kick him when I saw him immersed in his own world.
In the second round, when I was doing B, I completely looked at my opposite partner A. Partner a's eyes are getting wet. When we hugged, she felt love and warmth. When I was doing an A, I was distracted. I am reading four sentences on PPT. When I can't devote myself to these words, my body and mind are out of place. The other party thinks I didn't devote myself to it last time. When I hugged her, she felt that my body was not as soft and relaxed as last time. This imperfect experience is a very precious reminder to me. When we face our children and lovers, it is very important to face them wholeheartedly. Language is pale, but the perception of the body is very real. When you respond absently to your child and lover, the other person's heart can't feel your love at all. Therefore, high-quality companionship is particularly important.
The process of psychological activity:
Everything that happens outside forms our inner vision, hearing and feeling through our BVR, that is, our beliefs, values and experiences. When we receive such information, we will analyze, process, judge, delete, distort and summarize it, and finally form a set of our own understanding. Everything has no meaning in itself, and all meaning is given to it by people. These meanings will form their own protection mechanism. When our brain is in danger, we will adopt two coping modes, either fight or run away. This is the way of life that human beings learned in ancient times. These new meanings and new protection mechanisms, because of the handling of our thoughts and beliefs, will bring us different emotional feelings, different behavioral desires, our tone of voice, and our body language will also change.
Therefore, it is particularly important to make what is happening outside more meaningful. Since the matter itself is meaningless, we might as well turn it into a good and positive meaning.
There are three kinds of people:
First, the visual type.
They all use images and pictures to remember, think and use.
Second, the auditory type.
Memorize, think and use with pronunciation, speech and words.
Third, the sensory type.
Sensory people often use feelings to remember, think and use.
Everyone's unique life has its own unique appearance and soul. When you can see a life, understand the characteristics of TA and respect the behavioral characteristics of TA, you can really understand TA and establish good communication with others. Only by understanding the characteristics of children can we teach students in accordance with their aptitude. For example, some children are visual children and have a sense of picture. TA depends on the teacher in class to understand the content of the teacher's lecture. Such children may be the children that teachers like. Follow the teacher's eyes in class and leave an impression on the teacher. You are staring and listening attentively, which is a good impression; However, auditory children don't need to see a teacher if they don't listen. What TA needs is to capture what the teacher teaches with hearing. Why it seems that there is no cognitive listening in class, and there is no lack of attention to teachers, but people can finish their homework well after class and get good grades. These children are regarded as clever children by the teacher. In fact, these children may be auditory children. Although TA doesn't see the teacher, she is still studying wholeheartedly in her own way. Just like teacher Duan's daughter, listening to her own recording and memorizing words is fast and has a large memory; Some children are also emotional. Parents of such children need to touch their children more, touch their heads, pat their children on the shoulders, hug their children more and kiss them more. When studying, TA will feel and think more, but in class, these children tend to move more, and TA's body needs to move back and forth. Children who love to play tricks in class may do this. This is also the way of learning TA. TA can't see the teacher thinking more.
Because you know, you are kind. When you really know how to use a person, you can really understand TA.
Mind reading:
The eyes are the windows to the soul. Through the rotation of eyes, we can know how a person TA went to the future to create and imagine, how to go back to the past to recall, and how to perceive that TA was immersed in feelings to experience. This skill is a very good skill to understand others in consultation, negotiation and communication.
When I left the classroom, I forgot to take notes. All my understanding is based on my own understanding and limited memory in class. If there is any inaccuracy, please give your valuable advice to the teachers and partners you see.