Now many people on the Internet are asking for help, how to make marriage happy. With the development of society, people now have a great pursuit of spiritual life, and marriage is an important link that affects their spiritual life. A happy marriage will undoubtedly make people feel spiritually satisfied.
However, it is not easy to want a happy marriage. According to incomplete statistics, more than 75% of married women feel unhappy in their married life. The proportion of men who feel unhappy in marriage is much lower than that of women. This also illustrates a problem. It is more difficult for women to feel happiness than men in marriage.
In fact, the root cause of unhappy marriage is nothing more than the following two kinds: first, marriage has no love foundation, and second, it does not know how to operate after marriage. In fact, everyone understands this truth. The key is whether you have carefully combed, thought and really implemented it.
There are many factors that affect marriage, but there is only one road to a happy marriage, and that is the respect and freedom between husband and wife.
Respect and freedom are the most basic principles in dealing with marriage. No matter how deep the love between husband and wife is, don't ignore these two principles, otherwise the deep love will dry up. There is no love without respect, and there is no love without freedom. In order to make the marriage last, we must keep these two basic bottom lines.
-02-
Marriage is a lifelong career of husband and wife, which needs careful management. Only when husband and wife overcome difficulties again and again can marriage become richer and more meaningful, and when they grow old together, they become more and more precious, and they also exude her real charm.
In most marriages, we will encounter some problems and contradictions to some extent. Some are contradictions between husband and wife, and some are contradictions with family background.
In my opinion, the contradiction between husband and wife can be solved through communication, which is relatively easy; And some contradictions with family background are much more difficult, because the relationship is too complicated and the contradictions are trivial and difficult to solve.
In the face of the contradiction and conflict between marriage and the family of origin, I suggest that husband and wife maintain a certain sense of border with the family of origin. Many contradictions occur because the two sides have no sense of boundary. Only when the two sides leave room, respect and understand each other, will contradictions not arise.
As parents and relatives of either husband and wife, they should be conscious. Now that they are married, there is a boundary between them and the family they came from. At this time, don't interfere with the marriage of two people at will, let alone try to create contradictions. Because of your intervention, it is likely to cause a crisis in the relationship between husband and wife.
Since you are a relative, you must learn to let go.
-03-
What would you do if an uncertain relative interfered with your's marriage and affected the feelings between your husband and wife?
Some people will choose patience because they can't give up their affection; Others will warn relatives not to go too far.
Many times, marriage is just because of these ambiguous relatives. And Xiao Lu met such a wonderful "relative".
Lv Xiao and her husband Abin have been married for almost seven years. In these seven years, the relationship between husband and wife has been profound from the beginning to the present. Nowadays, Xiao Lu has put the focus of life on children and has little hope for marriage.
The reason may be more complicated. Too many trivial things happened in seven years, and the couple didn't have the concept of managing marriage, plus Abin's family was involved. Wait, Xiao Lu is too lazy to think about it.
Faced with a man who can't handle marriage and feelings well, Lu Xiao has felt disappointed and tired. If it weren't for the children, Lu Xiao would have wanted to divorce him.
-04-
Lu Xiao bought a house with the help of her parents before she got married. After we got married, Abin and I bought a set, and they lived in this house. That suite has been rented out by Lu Xiao to subsidize the family.
But after more than three years of marriage, Abin's younger brother and Lu Xiao's brother-in-law got married, and the couple didn't have a house to live in. Brother-in-law begged Abin to let him live in that house.
In addition, his parents begged him, and Abin was a man with no idea, so he agreed.
Xiao Lu didn't know about it until Abin drove out the tenant and let his brother move in. Lu Xiao was very angry at that time and asked Abin why he didn't tell himself, did you make your own decision without my permission?
I didn't expect Abin to plausibly say, "My brother has no house to live in now. They're all family. What is it to you? " Besides, isn't your house mine? I don't have the right to make a decision yet? "
Xiao Lu looked at the man who was full of fallacies, and he was very angry. But now that things have happened, I can't drive my brother-in-law away. So the matter was settled.
As for the rent, my brother-in-law didn't even mention it. Lu Xiao was very angry and had to disperse at Abin's place. The couple's feelings plummeted.
-05-
Lu Xiao and Abin have spent a lot of money on their brother-in-law since they got married. My younger brother Abin belongs to the kind of person with low hands and high eyes. I don't learn anything on weekdays, but I have to learn from others to do business after I get married. As expected, I lost a lot of money.
Part of the money was taken from parents and part was borrowed by Guan Abin. He said he had borrowed money and had no intention of paying it back in recent years.
In fact, Lu Xiao and Abin are not rich. They have to pay off their mortgage and car loan, and they have to raise children, which is a big expense. Lu Xiao has been afraid to buy better clothes and cosmetics in recent years, and her life is under great pressure.
But even so, Abin secretly lent money to his brother. Xiao Lu knows that her mother-in-law is carrot and stick. Mother-in-law dotes on her little son and often asks Abin for money and gives it to her little son. Xiao Lu knows that she has told Abin that she won't give her mother-in-law any more money in the future. But Abin wouldn't listen, saying that Lu Xiao was unfilial.
In the face of this incompetent husband and the family who doesn't know her husband, Lu Xiao is really exhausted.
Just last year, Lu Xiao's father was seriously ill and was admitted to the hospital. The doctor said that an operation was needed, and the operation cost was very high. Lu Xiao's parents didn't have enough money. She was the only child in the family, so Lu Xiao took out her savings to see her father.
But the money in his hand is nine Niu Yi cents. In desperation, Lu Xiao asked Abin to get back the money he lent to his brother-in-law.
-06-
Unexpectedly, after hearing this, Abin directly said no and said he would go. Looking at Abin's incompetence, Lv Xiao hated it in his heart. So she asked her brother-in-law for money.
But my brother-in-law directly said that he had no money and didn't intend to pay it back. Xiao Lu looked at the rascal and was very angry.
On second thought, she sold the house just in time to meet her father. So tell my brother-in-law directly and move out quickly. The house is going to be sold.
But my brother-in-law was anxious when he heard about selling the house: "I have lived in this house for more than three years. Why sell it? "
Lu Xiao smiled angrily. She took out the real estate license and told him word for word: "This house belongs to me, only to me, and has nothing to do with your brother. I can sell it if I want to, understand? "
The news that Lu Xiao wanted to sell the house spread, and both her in-laws and Abin advised her. The implication is nothing more than selling the house, and the brother-in-law has nowhere to go. Lu Xiao told them categorically: "The house is mine, and I can sell it if I want. If you force me again, I will divorce Abin and divide the property in half! "
On hearing Xiao Lu's divorce, Abin panicked and never dared to speak again. The in-laws have nothing to say directly and can only leave.
-07-
Finally, Lu Xiao sold the house, and all the money she sold was given to her parents, leaving no money for herself. As for the brother-in-law, she never asks. She has made up her mind that if Abin continues to be confused, she will divorce him!
In fact, from the story of Lu Xiao, we can see that a person's family background has a great influence on marriage. At this time, it is even more necessary for husband and wife to handle the relationship with family of origin. Keep a certain distance and don't let them interfere with your marriage.
Life is not easy, and marriage is even harder. If you want to live a happy marriage, you need to study hard and manage well. Marriage happiness cannot be achieved overnight. Both husband and wife should work hard for it to taste the happiness and beauty of marriage.