Letters from fans:
Hello, Brother Kai, I read your article through the recommendation of my friend.
My boyfriend and I have been in love for almost three years. When I first mentioned him with my parents, my family strongly opposed it.
I think their place is not good, the traffic is inconvenient, and it is far from my home, but I still contact him secretly.
Finally, my parents knew that I was still in contact with him, so they had a big fight with me and cried and quarreled with me at home. I broke up with him.
Soon after, he came to me again, and we made up again. Slowly, the whole family objected until only my dad objected, until my dad reluctantly agreed some time ago.
His family kept urging him, and my parents also went to their house. My parents told me to break up with him completely when I came back.
Because there are mountain roads, I live in caves.
Although he also bought a house in their city, my parents felt that the down payment was not much.
And after we get married, it still costs a lot of money to decorate the house, and then I am under too much pressure to be with him.
My parents just want me to find someone from our county who is close to me and knows the roots very well.
Every time I see my parents feel sorry for me, I really want to give up.
But I am afraid that I will find someone who will satisfy my parents, and then I will regret why I didn't persist.
Kai Zi replied:
Hello girl, all parents don't want their daughters to suffer in the future.
So you must understand that it is not for you to find a satisfied parent.
It's that your parents are more experienced than you. They know how painful it will be for you to find someone with poor conditions in the future.
For most young people who have not reached the stage of daily necessities, it is easy to imagine the future as beautiful and simple.
At the same time, you will be too optimistic about your ability. I always feel that it doesn't matter if I am poor now. Let's work together.
Of course, I don't object to this view. After all, I am also a poor student who just graduated. I also firmly believe in the view that "don't bully the poor."
But I also want to remind girls that if a boy's family conditions are not good, you should consider these three questions more:
1. Is he motivated, responsible and hardworking? 2. Does he have a good personality? Will his family be helpful to you in the future, or will it be a burden to you? In my opinion, you should think about these points before considering whether to be together or give up, so as to avoid the possibility of regret in the future.
02.
Letters from fans:
Brother Kay, I'm very sad these days.
I am from Shanxi, 3 1 year old, and my husband is from Liaoning, 36 years old. /kloc-I was introduced by a friend in March and met my parents in August.
During the Spring Festival, his mother came to Shanxi to meet her parents. Due to the epidemic situation, she received the certificate until May 20th, and the wedding date was set at June 65438+1October 20th.
His parents divorced when he was a child, and I always knew that his family was in a bad condition.
My family is also an ordinary family, so there are many ups and downs when the two sides talk about bride price.
The bride price in Shanxi in recent years is a bit outrageous. General bride price138,000, and a bunch of messy180,000. Seeing his family's difficulties, let him discuss it with his mother, which is * * *1000000 yuan.
My husband said yes, but my mother thought yes. Then his mother said no. My husband is introverted and has never said anything about it.
My mother compromised, and finally, as my husband and mother said, the bride price was 52,800, the three gold and photos were 20,000, and the fare for getting on and off the bus was 7,800. After getting the license, his mother gave me 72800 first.
Then one day, I suddenly found him borrowing money online. My husband hasn't had the habit of saving money for so many years. Before I met him, he owed more than 20 thousand credit cards for playing games, and then we slowly paid back the money.
Now there are more than 80 thousand in hand, and the bride price is still short of 20 thousand It is difficult for me to give money directly to his parents. It's so tangled
Kai Zi replied:
Hello, girl, we can look at this problem from two angles.
1. No matter how much your local bride price is, how much you want to charge varies from person to person. 2. The other party is 36 years old, and even the bride price of100000 needs to be paid at home, and the family finally struggled and didn't get enough. It is really necessary to consider the man's ability. As for you, your husband has not been in the habit of saving money for so many years, and his credit card owes 20 thousand for playing games.
I can't help asking, at 36, don't you have such a plan for your life?
If he is 26 years old, he is still young and ignorant, but he is already 36 years old.
Now that you have chosen him, you should be clear about two possible issues to consider.
1, you can only find such a man under your own conditions; Faced with a 36-year-old man who has nothing but plans, are you confident that you will have a good life in the future? As for the rest, I can't say more. In short, I still want to tell the girls that if you want to find a man with good conditions, you can do well yourself.
If you can't be financially stable, or even have no savings for a long time, you are likely to be troubled by various trivial matters after marriage, especially because of money!
03.
Letters from fans:
Hello, brother Kay!
I am a person about to enter the marriage hall, and the wedding was postponed for half a year.
Because of my professional reasons, we didn't have any money at first, so we wanted to stop buying it first and talk about it later.
Now I have discussed with my boyfriend and plan to buy a pair! After all, there is a sense of ceremony.
Boyfriend said to wait until he got paid. I asked him yesterday. He said he had no money, so he stopped buying it and lent his salary to a friend.
I don't want to say how complicated my mood was at that time, and then put forward this right away.
Then he replied that it was inappropriate. Is it gone?
Brother Kay, what should I do? It's not a pair of rings, but this attitude is unacceptable. How should I communicate? It's the cold war.
Kai Zi replied:
Hello, girl, you are right. It's not a pair of rings, it's an attitude.
It's that he broke his promise to you and didn't keep it.
Then you should think that he doesn't care about your feelings before you get married. What do you think after marriage?
What's more, is it true or not that he lent his salary to his friends?
If it is true, are his friends more important than his wife?
He is proud enough to sacrifice his lover's feelings. Can you believe that he will care about you in the future?
If it's fake, where did the salary go and where did the money go?
There is also a very real problem that I have to remind everyone. Two people who are about to get married don't even have any savings. Is it really suitable for marriage?
Judging from your state, it seems that you are not ready to get married psychologically and economically. Is it necessary to get married? I suggest you think it over.