Wen Wen is 35 years old this year. She once talked about three boyfriends, all of which ended in failure, so that she became disappointed with her marriage. She wondered why it was so difficult to meet a good man, but she couldn't find an equally good boyfriend when she had good conditions.
In her opinion, she is very beautiful, with a height of 165, a master's degree, and a monthly salary of 15K. How can she be regarded as a quality leftover woman? However, whenever she issued a request for choosing a spouse, she was laughed at by others, saying that her standards were too high.
Wen Wen's original mate selection criteria were: the man is under 35 years old, has a house and a car, has an annual salary of not less than 500,000, has a good personality, and combines the three views.
Later, she adjusted it to: the man is under 35 years old and the annual salary is not less than 300,000, which will hurt people.
But even so, few men can meet her requirements. Wenwen is really confused. Are all men so bad nowadays?
She sometimes feels disappointed. Her ex-boyfriends are not as good as one. It is even harder to find a good man now.
Wenwen's first boyfriend was a college classmate and broke up after a year of dating.
Wen Wen said that her boyfriend's family conditions are too bad, and this doesn't count. The key is that the boyfriend is not motivated, can't see the hope of the future, and can only stop loss in time.
The second boyfriend, an international student I talked about in graduate school, lived together for about three years. Originally, this boyfriend was not bad, and the conditions in all aspects were not bad, but after living together, I found that there were many differences between them.
For example, because of different concepts, two people's understanding of Chinese and western cultures is very different, so they cannot be unified. Because both sides are highly educated and unwilling to bow their heads and stick to their own views, they often quarrel.
Another example is that the quality of life is different. Wenwen is a clean girl, but her boyfriend is very casual and doesn't pay attention to hygiene and life details at all. He also argued that it was his freedom, and Wen Wen couldn't stand it, so he broke up.
The third boyfriend is a department manager of the company. Wen Wen and he broke up after only getting along for three months. Because Wenwen found out that he was having an affair with many women, and she was not stupid. I can guess that this man is love rat, a playboy.
In this way, Wen Wen's three boyfriends failed to talk about success, so that they are still unmarried and single.
Because he is getting older, Wenwen himself is very anxious. She is not the kind of person who doesn't get married and thinks that women should get married.
Therefore, this year, Wen Wen accepted the advice of his parents and friends and started dating.
02
Wen Wen has just started dating and doesn't intend to lower her conditions, but after several dates, she is a little hesitant. She said that blind date men are nothing. It is really unrealistic to find a high-quality man in the blind date market.
She gave an example. In the first five or six blind dates, the man doubted her past emotional experience. This really makes Wen Wen laugh and cry. Who hasn't been in love yet? These men are too serious, not serious at all.
Those men are satisfied with her in all aspects, but they can't accept her love experience. They are really speechless. Wenwen was very angry at first. She thinks she's been in love, so what? She can only say that men are really too narrow-minded, so don't marry heartless men.
In her opinion, she has never doubted them, what's more, the economic conditions can't meet her requirements, and some of them are too poor. Who are you to doubt her?
Later, however, Wen Wen learned something from her previous blind date experience. She felt that there were some things she couldn't tell them, lest the men should be too narrow-minded.
Therefore, in the next few blind dates, Wen Wen kept silent about his past love experience. Even if the man took the initiative to ask, she said that she had never been in love and had been single, because she was in the postgraduate entrance examination and was delayed.
Wen Wen really didn't expect that when she said this, this man especially favored her and thought she was really an excellent woman.
So, when the blind date reached 10, a man was particularly satisfied with her and offered to get along with her.
Wenwen thinks that this person is in good condition and looks good, which is quite suitable for him, so he agreed. She feels that she can really get along without worrying about those mate selection requirements. You can also lower the conditions appropriately.
Therefore, Wen Wen chose to compromise, no longer adhere to the previous high standards, and seriously talked about love with this man. After getting along for more than a month, both of them felt very satisfied, so marriage was put on the agenda.
Wen Wen said that after three times of love and 10 blind date, she didn't have much time to choose, so she might as well get married.
Besides, now this man is very kind to her, honest, financially based, with a house and a car, and does not choose other conditions.
In this way, Wen Wen agreed to the man's proposal, and they are going to get married at the end of the year.
03
Wen Wen wants to tell older women that it is not easy to meet an honest man, and it is ok to lower the standard appropriately.
What's more, there are not many good men now, and there are even fewer honest people. When you meet them, take good care of them and stop insisting on high standards.
In fact, in love, it is really not a wise decision for older single women to insist on high standards of waiting.
First of all, in terms of age, women can't afford it. As they get older, they will inevitably lose the advantage of choosing a spouse.
No matter how good your conditions are, you can't hide your age. Appropriately lowering some standards may make the road to mate selection smoother.
Men nowadays are very pragmatic. They don't care how good the external conditions of women are, and most of them tend to be women's age and fertility. In the eyes of many men, older women are unattractive. What they value is whether you can have children.
Moreover, there are really men who meet the high standards of women. Instead of spending so much money and energy, why not find a young girl and an older woman like you?
Therefore, Wen Wen's suggestion is still correct. For older single women, it's really good for you if you meet an honest man. It should be the right choice to lower their conditions appropriately.
Secondly, women have been waiting for high standards, which is not good for their views on marriage and love.
Many men criticize women for being too materialistic. In fact, individual phenomena do exist, which leads to a bad impression of women in the blind date market.
Men think that these older single women are too materialistic to see themselves clearly because they are not married.
In the eyes of men, many older women have many problems, which are not emotional, or the criteria for choosing a spouse, or psychological and so on.
On this basis, if women insist on high standards and wait any longer, it will only make men's impression worse. They will think that such women are not worth marrying, because their hearts are higher than the sky and their lives are thinner than paper.
Moreover, women always insist on high standards and are silly, which will affect their views on marriage and love. They may be alone and will be disappointed in their marriage one day.
A really good woman can support herself and live a good life. Why should she get married? Once you have such an idea, your expectations for marriage may decrease.
In reality, many girls are like this. They began to pick from an early age, kept picking, and finally picked again. When they got older, they still didn't find the right man.
For girls, it is best to choose when age has an advantage. At this time, they will have capital. Once they pass the advantage of age, it becomes more and more difficult later.
Many women of marriageable age who are not married are too picky. After all, there are a few people who really get married because of their studies or careers.
Therefore, women should know that when you meet an honest person who is really good to you, you must remember to cherish it. Some people, once they miss it, will never come back.
Just like Wen Wen, isn't it a good thing to catch an honest man who is kind to her in time after her blind date 10? After two people fall in love, get married and work together, they are actually happy.
In short, for older women, when you don't have the capital of age, try to lower the standard, and the probability of meeting a good man will be great.
You have to understand that feelings are not just waiting for high standards, but taking the initiative to fight for what kind of man is right for you.
When you meet an honest person who is really good to you, even if the conditions are poor, you should try to cherish it, and maybe you will have a happy harvest.
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