I don't think I know much about stay-at-home moms. Not a stay-at-home mom "willing" or "unwilling" to work. On the contrary, stay-at-home mothers "can" or "can't" find suitable classes. No one wants to give up his value, just like no child wants to be top student. 20 18, when my child was in the fourth grade, I quit my job to take care of the baby at home. The moment I decided to let go of myself, I was also forced to do nothing. Work that goes out early and comes back late every day can only put children in a custody class. Every weekend and business trip, the couple try to stagger their time. Children's study habits and grades plummeted. At this time, I am a mother. I don't care about children's study and habits. No one can replace me. In fact, I have been trying to find a balance between work and raising a baby before my child's fourth grade, and I have been trying various methods. Tutor, tutor, get home at eight o'clock in the evening and help with homework with sleepy children. Yes, the battle ended at 9 o'clock, but more chickens flew and dogs jumped to 10 or even 1 1. The child's face is pitiful and I am full of anger. In exchange, the children go to school in a daze every day, and I get up early in the morning and go to work tired. Children's grades are still hovering at the lower and middle level. I can't find a better way, so I can only decide to let go of myself first, seize the most precious parental management period of children and intervene in time. Now children's grades have improved slightly, but many study habits have taken shape. If you want to find a job that can take care of your baby and go to work, I think people who have tried it must know how difficult it is. Therefore, as a stay-at-home mother, my proposition should be "yes" or "no".
I want to tell busy parents that as parents, we also have a shelf life, so don't let us play a role after the shelf life. That's really not easy. I heard a saying, very good. The loss of managing children in recent years may only be "1", but the gain for children is far greater than "10".
I also want to say to all stay-at-home mothers that we are only temporarily putting down our original jobs. We haven't put ourselves down yet. We can still keep learning and making progress. When life and work are balanced, we will return to work with greater energy.
When will the public realize the contribution and value of stay-at-home mothers?
I'm really sad to talk about this topic.
I am an intermediate accountant, and I take time to take online classes to receive continuing education every year. . But I have been a full-time mother for six years.
From pregnancy to children's kindergarten classes, relatives, neighbors and even parents all say that I am lazy. . You will be happy. It's worthless
However, I waited on myself and the children, and I only lay down for 10 days. Or because I abandoned the palace property. Pick up and drop off children, get sick and seek medical treatment. Shopping, cooking, washing and cleaning. If I get sick, I can't get up. Something will go wrong with the house. .
All the children's parent-child activities and homework guidance are mine. .
Once I wrestled with my child for two hours because of a topic. I was so angry that I slapped her twice, and her father slapped me twice. Said I had the ability to travel outside. . Go to work if you can!
That is the reality. . .
If I want to. You can find a job with a stable income in minutes.
If I can, let the children go. Find a small table and hire an aunt to pick you up. I can also sit in my office and have tea and chat.
The person who asks this question is really a farmer.
You shouldn't have children of your own!
Do you know when the children will finish school?
Around 4 pm, do you know how many companies are willing to let employees get off work at 3: 30 to pick up their children?
Do you know how many roads and bustling streets children have to cross to go to school nowadays? Do you think it's still the 1970s? Ten cars a day on the road?
Do you know how many mothers-in-law are unwilling to help with their children?
You don't know anything!
Your daughter-in-law has gone to work. Can you buy food, cook and do housework to help children?
I am sorry for your daughter-in-law, looking for such goods.
Because I'm used to the life of a stay-at-home mother, that's her comfort zone. Stay-at-home mothers stay at home for a long time, and it is easy to get out of touch with society. In the future, she needs to pay a lot! This is easy to understand! Maybe it's not that I don't want to, but that I don't have the courage!
The children are at school and I am at work.
Get up early in the morning, cook a good meal, eat it in a hurry, then freshen up, and pay attention to your image when you go to work. I can't be so sloppy at home. I have to go to work at 7: 30 and leave at 7: 15 at the latest. The children's school doesn't open until 7: 20, and my husband has to take them there.
If you don't go home at noon, you will eat at work. One of my children eats in kindergarten, the other is in primary school, and I come home from school. My husband doesn't want to cook when he comes back from work. He was tired from work and there was no ready-made food when he came back, so he took his children out to eat somewhere else.
I got off work at 4: 30 in the afternoon and just came back to pick up the children. I got home at about 5 o'clock, watching the children do their homework and cook. Husband gets off work at six o'clock, eats dinner, washes dishes, cleans the kitchen, cleans the house, washes clothes, bathes the children and sends them to bed. Then I can catch my breath, sit down and have a rest, and then I fall asleep.
There are two days off on weekends. One day I watch my children do their homework, clean the house, cook three meals and take them out to play.
After working for several months, the meat raised at home has lost weight. My husband took the children out to play for several months and had enough lunch. I feel more and more tired. The comparison and intrigue between colleagues in the unit also make me very uncomfortable and tired. Husband is very distressed. He said: "If you are tired, don't do it, work hard and get less, and enjoy yourself at home."
So, I went home happily, continued to be my full-time mother, and took good care of my husband, children and myself.
Why do many stay-at-home mothers still refuse to go to work after their children go to school? The reason is sad.
0 1. Being a full-time mother for too long is out of touch with society.
Maybe my mother used to be excellent and even capable, but if you think about it, being a full-time mother at home for four or five years has long been out of touch with social work. Even if you let her work, she can only do simple paperwork.
Four or five years has changed a person, not to mention not going to work all day, even those who go to work can't keep up with the fast pace of work. Coupled with housework and children, it is impossible to work with peace of mind, so it is really not easy for full-time mothers to have a good job, whether it is making excuses or being lazy. She may have to work harder than others.
02. It is inconvenient to take care of children.
You may think that after the children go to school, the mother will be much more relaxed, even have nothing to do, and have time and energy to do a job. However, the time for children to go to school and go to work is completely different, so it is impossible to take care of them at the same time. Children usually leave school at 1 1:30 in the morning and 4:30 in the afternoon. Do you think you can pick up the children at this time? Unless you are free to work, there is no time to pick up and drop off children in ordinary jobs.
Besides, if the child is ill, you must ask for leave to take care of him. Children have winter and summer vacations. Go to work or leave the children alone at home? You can't quit in a few months, can you? Then when will you get a raise?
03, the imprisonment of traditional thought
There are also some stay-at-home mothers because their thoughts are more traditional. In their cognition, a good woman should teach her husband, serve her husband and educate her children at home. This is their job. If I go to work by myself, who will take care of so many things at home and who will do the housework? My mother-in-law can't count on it at all. If the mother-in-law is willing to help, she will go to work after giving birth, and will not wait until now.
Therefore, they would rather be called lazy by their mother-in-law than go to work and earn such a meager salary, not because they are afraid of being tired, but because they are contrary to their subjective intentions.
Generally speaking, it is very difficult for stay-at-home mothers to participate in work and integrate into society, so it is urgent. Don't complain about her lack of progress all day. In fact, she is not easy at all.
All the children are at school, and some stay-at-home mothers are unwilling to go to work. I think there may be three situations:
First of all, there are a wide range of options for full-time jobs now. Children go to school, but many aspects of children's learning and education still need their mother's attention. It is not easy to cook every day until the children come back for dinner and then do all kinds of housework. So stay-at-home mothers want to find a job that they can do at home.
My stay-at-home mom in my circle of friends does a lot of work at home. For example, some stay-at-home mothers do self-media, take care of their children's daily lives and guide their children to shoot videos. They persisted for one year and earned considerable income.
Some make cakes, bread and reserve birthday cakes, and we often order them. Some send their children to school, and they start making handmade jiaozi and steamed buns, and send them to a circle of friends. Everyone looks at them and wants to eat them.
In the second case, stay-at-home mothers may want to spend more time enriching themselves. In the first three to five years, it took about five years to get pregnant, have children, take care of children and stay-at-home mothers, which was out of touch with society for too long. At this time, it is definitely not easy to find a job when rushing back to the society, and I am also worried about whether the children have adapted to school life.
At this time, full-time mothers will trim themselves at home, enrich themselves, prepare to return to social work, observe whether their children can adapt to school life, and give themselves a year to recharge and experience, then returning to society will be much better.
The third situation is a stay-at-home mother who has just experienced a hard life for several years. If the father of the child has the ability to support himself and the child, the stay-at-home mother wants to have a good rest for a while. A good attitude is also good.
But now the cost of living is relatively high, and it is definitely not good to rely on the father of the child to cope for a long time. In case of special circumstances, the economic impact on the family is still quite great, so full-time mothers should strengthen their working ability and return to work as soon as possible after taking a break.
Now many mothers choose to be full-time mothers, and they are doing well. In the community where we often communicate, most active mothers are full-time mothers. When you listen to your stay-at-home mother, your image in your mind may be: slovenly, slovenly, expressionless, ambitious, and seriously out of touch with society. In fact, this is really not a portrayal of all stay-at-home mothers.
Of course, being a stay-at-home mother is not about raising your figure, and going to work is not about putting down your figure. It's just two different lifestyles.
When I first chose to be a full-time mother, there were nothing more than the following situations.
Many stay-at-home mothers are because no one looks after their children. Some are old, some are old, some are sick, some are unwilling to look after their children, and some have too many brothers and sisters at home to be busy. In short, they can't find the right person to look after their children, so they have to look after them themselves.
In other families, there are old people to help look after the children. Mothers are not at ease. They always think that old people will not take care of their children, or they will lead their children to be bad, and they can't give them a better education.
Some people say, take care of a nanny? Nannies are more reliable than their own old people. Since the old man doesn't want to use it, what about the nanny?
Moreover, the cost of hiring a nanny is not low, and the salary earned by working on your own may not be able to afford a nanny. It is better to accompany your child to grow up wholeheartedly, and don't miss every moment of your child's growth.
Some mothers have worked outside for many years and don't like to work. With children, they just let themselves relax, which is also a reward for their years of hard work. Although I found that I was more tired than work after working full-time, there was no room for turning back. Now that you have chosen, you have the courage to stick to it!
Why don't stay-at-home mothers go to work when their children are at school?
Children need to be picked up after school, delivered at 8 am and picked up at 5 pm. If you don't necessarily find a job with easy time after work, it's not easy to get off work at 5 pm. Some have to work overtime and can't pick up the children on time. The child is always the last to be picked up, the teacher is unhappy, the child can't accept it psychologically, and he will feel wronged.
Dabao went to kindergarten. I used to pick him up for a while. Dabao is the last one every time. He looks at the teacher with different expressions. He is very anxious. The teacher wants to go home early after work. It is really worth understanding. Dabao has no sense of security either. Every time he said, "Mom, come and pick me up early today!" " "It looks so poor!
When children go to primary school, they need to attend some interest classes in winter and summer vacations. At this time they also need to pick up and drop off. If the job is really hopeless, where can I find a job with winter vacation and summer vacation?
After being used to living at home, stay-at-home mothers don't like contact with outsiders anymore. There are indeed some problems in interpersonal communication, and it is difficult to adapt to finding a job and showing her face. How free you are at home. You can get up and go out at any time. Sometimes you can go out at any time without asking for leave. It's so convenient.
Sometimes when a child is sick, he can accompany the child at home to see a doctor and take care of the child in time. If he goes to work, he needs to ask for leave, but also depends on the boss's face, which makes him uncomfortable and may delay things.
There are many full-time mothers, although they say they are full-time, but they just move their jobs to their homes. Many mothers have created a world with their own skills. Some read picture books, some write articles, some design, some supplement food, and various occupations. It is also worth noting that they have achieved economic independence while taking care of their children. Don't think that full-time mothers are raised by their husbands at home.
In short, different people have different choices. Everyone chooses to be a full-time mother, some are helpless, some are good wishes, and in the end they are their best choice. We should all give respect instead of cynicism!
Stay-at-home mothers don't want to go to work, because being a good stay-at-home mother is also a good job! Let the lover and children go back to a warm home, have delicious food, clean up inside and out, and make a good table. What a wonderful well-off life! Ha ha!