20 16-03-24 originated from the network.
1On October 22nd, 2065438+ 16, Tielong Village, Long Tao Township, Beichuan County, Mianyang City, Sichuan Province held a New Year gift distribution activity for left-behind children. Li Ang (pseudonym), a left-behind child, got a "mysterious gift" at the event site-his father who worked outside for three years "transported" himself back to his children by express delivery, which satisfied his father's wish to go home for the New Year. The picture shows Huang Haicheng, who has not seen his son for three years, holding his son Li Yang in his arms. Behind the warm return of "Chinese New Year Dad" is the incomplete affection of a large number of left-behind children. Parents work outside the home and don't go home for a year or even years. There are 76 students in Long Tao Tibetan Township Primary School, nearly half of whom are left-behind children.
All working parents want their children to have a better life.
This is a propositional composition "The Story of Left-behind Children and Me". To tell the truth, I am under great pressure and ashamed. Because I am not a reporter, I have no confidence to write well, and I have no long-term career in public welfare or left-behind children's education. I'm afraid I will waste this precious page.
When the word "left-behind children" is mentioned, many pictures come to mind from time to time. Even so, I still don't know where to start, because I find that I can't find the answer to the question at the moment.
Won't it solve the problem to let parents go back to their children? That's what I asked my aunt. Perhaps this is the most direct candidate I can get close to from another angle-to understand the inner feelings of left-behind children through their mothers.
After my eldest daughter was born, my husband and I took care of it together. Apart from the lack of parenting experience and scientific feeding methods for new mothers at the end of the month, I was once exhausted. So I hired a helper for a month, but only after 20 days, I changed back and brought it myself. At that time, I was convinced that others would not take good care of my children. At one time, I totally rejected aunts with children, thinking that they would only make money and would not really love our children.
However, my children and I are lucky! Aunt Fang is very kind to her daughters. Aunt Fang is not surnamed Fang, because the last word of her name is Fang, so children like to call her Aunt Fang.
Seeing Aunt Fang playing with her children, going crazy together and going out to work together, I feel down-to-earth and full of energy every day. Aunt Fang loves my children so much that I feel at ease, but my heart is always aching.
She is also the mother of two children. She takes care of other people's children's food and drink every day. Who cares about her children? Will she miss her children?
Her two children are also babies. Her baby comes home from school every day and wants to jump into his mother's arms smelling of oil smoke. At dinner, she told her mother who she had become good friends with at school and who she had been at odds with. If you have any questions about her homework, you can ask her. When night comes, her baby wants her mother to pat herself, scratch her back, rub her feet, sing her mother's folk songs from primary school softly and sleep peacefully.
But I can't. Aunt Fang put down the bowl chopsticks and kept shaking her head. Most of the farmland in our hometown Honghu Lake, Hubei Province has been dug into fish ponds to raise fish and grow lotus roots. Few young people are willing to feed fish in their hometown because the whole family doesn't have much income all year round. The rest of the farmland are basically cotton fields interplanted with watermelons, even so, they can't make much money. In addition, depending on the weather, if you encounter bad weather, you really can't.
How do you think you can stay in your hometown with your children?
I can't stay any longer, we young people all work in big cities! Who doesn't want to make a lot of money while young, but leave the elderly and children at home? We can't take the children. First, there are no conditions. Second, at least our hometown is taken care of by grandparents. Neighbors can help us.
Do you think the children are unhappy?
Aunt Fang paused and said that once during the Spring Festival, her daughter said to me as soon as she entered the room: Mom, our teacher said that we are left-behind children, do you know? We are left-behind children!
When I asked you how to answer, Aunt Fang quickly became red-eyed and said that I could only tell her that mom and dad had to go out to work in order to improve the conditions at home, so that you could study hard. ...
What is the answer? Any parents who want to leave their children are not all for the sake of making their children live better. Except this time, I seldom talked to my aunt about her children before, because I was afraid of touching the softest place in her heart, afraid that she would simply give up going home to take care of the baby because of touching the scene one day. I have to admit, sometimes I run away as if it would make me feel better.
However, I finally found that for people who have been wandering for a living all the year round, family ties are not as good as the desire to survive.
Looking around at this moment, do you find that they have become an indispensable part of the whole city? In Shanghai, where I was born and raised, and in Beijing, where I have lived for many years, the influx of migrants has already become the main force in the front line of urban production. Catering services and factories and enterprises are not run by these hard-working workers. Big cities have given them another life, and they can't give up all the opportunities. These opportunities may make their next generation no longer leave their homes, separate from each other and avoid running around. If it were you and me, they wouldn't have a second choice in the face of survival.
So, there is really no solution. Because I have always simply believed that the root of the problem of left-behind children will be solved by attracting young parents to the countryside and not leaving. We have been talking about the problems of left-behind children, most of which are lack of care and education. We know that in infancy, children are always eager to get various responses from their parents. Even if the baby can't talk, he can rely on and be infatuated with his mother's body temperature and feel the love conveyed by his parents' body language. When children enter the language development period, the communication between parents and children will make children feel happy in babbling. At the troublesome age of three, the child entered a small rebellious period for the first time. Without the personal efforts of young parents who are better at thinking and acting, children may miss the important first lesson about parenting and social skills. At school age, children's words and deeds, behavior norms, need to have parents who are more in line with the current social values. Let's stop talking about adolescence. It is a time when parents need to be friends and listen to their emotional troubles in life. If we leave all this to the elderly, how can we have such energy to replace the role that parents should play?
Then, what can be done to make up for the lack of left-behind children's hearts when the existing environment cannot be changed?
Aunt Fang thought about it and asked her children to visit her mother during the holidays. Her mother would also try to find opportunities to visit her children during the holidays.
Last Spring Festival, I asked my aunt to go back to her hometown many days in advance, and then I rested for nearly a month before coming back. During that time, we took our two children to Xi 'an for the New Year and went back to Shanghai to visit relatives and friends. In the meantime, my friend asked me why I gave my aunt such a long vacation. I said that because her children were left behind and she was the mother of two children, everyone was silent at once.
Every time I let my aunt go home on holiday, I imagine her rushing home to see the children. To take the high-speed train to Hankou after 7 o'clock, you have to change to the light rail to the long-distance station at the other end of the city and catch almost the last bus back to your hometown in a hurry.
Once, I decided to give my aunt a few more days off and let her go home to see the children, but I ignored the details of changing cars. Aunt got off the high-speed train and arrived at the station. There was no shuttle bus back to her hometown. She could only stay in the local area for one night, go back early the next morning, stay at home with her children for one night, and have to travel long distances to Shanghai early in the morning. She asked me if I could take another day off, and I agreed, because I am also a mother. I hope her children can have the surprise that their mother suddenly comes home, and have a chance to see the baby in a few months and talk to them before going to bed. No one can refuse such a request.
Does the child have any difficulty in learning?
Aunt Fang said that now the government subsidizes money to build a good school. Without parents to help with homework at home after school, children will choose to go to teachers to do homework or tutor. The children were disappointing, and she was relieved.
I have some experience on this point. A few days ago, my story mother team and I went to a primary school for the children of migrant workers in Shanghai to tell stories to the children. Compared with the real left-behind children, the children in these schools are much luckier. They can receive education in their parents' city and see their parents every day. But because parents work and have great mobility, they are called "migrant children".
Faced with such a group, mothers are under great pressure. How to tell each story, what questions to ask after finishing, and how to interact with children need to be fully discussed. Everyone prepares lessons two weeks in advance every time.
This time, the story is "Nobody likes me". Buddy, the new puppy, can't make new friends because he is not familiar with the new environment and is not confident enough. Until the considerate fox appeared, he encouraged and accompanied him to bravely tell the animals that he wanted to be friends with everyone, so the previous misunderstanding was solved and Buddy made many new friends.
This story should be suitable for this group of children. It was practiced in her daughter's class last week. It is reasonable to say that there will be no problems, but mothers still repeatedly screen and modify the narrative methods and questions suitable for children in the group. We are all worried that those who have experienced the separation of parents and children at a young age will be too shy or afraid to express their true thoughts, which will lead to silence.
Throughout the story, the children were very involved, and we were flattered by the positive enthusiasm when answering questions. In the interactive session, children all want to perform on stage, which completely subverts our imagination, or we still think they are too fragile. In fact, these children have long been integrated into this city, and they have begun to make friends, accept new things, and have the company of their parents. Compared with those left-behind children who are far away from home and silently miss their parents, isn't their childhood beautiful?
After the story is finished, there is an interactive question. The mother of the story asked: Why didn't Buddy the dog make new friends in the first place? The good boy in the first row raised his hand, and his voice was a little low: because he moved to the city.
Perhaps in the child's mind, Buddy, who is new here, is himself.
We secretly promised that every buddy would meet the fox who accompanied him earlier.
(The author is a well-known actress and ambassador of UNICEF to China)
Decision reference
In the context of the country's continuous improvement of feeding agriculture, it is not going out to work that has a way out. If you have to go out to work, you'd better take your children or parents and stay at home alone. Otherwise, it is suggested that teachers pair up with left-behind children. As parents, teachers are responsible for the whole process from study to life. This is an important measure to solve the worries of migrant farmers.
Free Lunch Love Ambassador Ma Yili (Photo courtesy of the interviewee)