Beauty in appearance is as important as beauty in mind. Appearance is a paper window of the soul. To paraphrase Cai Kangyong, I was naive!
Because the sense of security established by chatting up people will not be very high, it is not suitable to enter the pursuit process immediately after understanding.
Specific circumstances:
People I just met leave their phone numbers in a hurry, and they have limited knowledge of each other. How can I chat by SMS?
First, list some wrong SMS chat methods:
Cut to the chase: "Are you free for dinner today?" (Too anxious, no bedding, girls generally don't like it, of course, there are also very manly people who will be willing. )
Household registration management type: "hello, my name is xxx, I work in yyy, zzz." Nice to meet you. " It's not like a person, it's a computer program. )
Be caring and attentive: "The lowest temperature tomorrow 1 degree, and the highest temperature 13 degree. Caring about the weather means caring about yourself. Don't forget to add one more dress. " Do we know each other? )
Joke: "Chimpanzees accidentally stepped on a bench pulled by gibbons. After the gibbon cleaned it gently and carefully, they fell in love. When asked how they got together, the chimpanzee said with emotion: ape dung! It's all ape dung! " Forwarding humorous news is a low-level performance that makes everyone laugh. )
Narcissism: "If one day, you feel tired, as long as you turn around, my blessing will be by your side. No matter how far away, no matter how many years, this blessing will turn into a blue star, flashing in the morning, flashing in the evening and flashing in every corner of your life." (mental derangement! )
Endlessly asking: "What should I do?" (Watching TV) "What program are you watching?" (If you are the one) "Is it interesting?" (Not bad) "What should I do after reading it?" (... the woman finally stopped answering her text messages)
What's more, it drags English: "Hey, what are you doing now? Close your eyes and I will be by your side, thinking of you day and night!" "
Dear, if you have done these stupid things, please read on.
When it comes to how to send text messages to unfamiliar girls correctly, we must first understand the differences in thinking between the two sexes.
Sasha and Fangfang are together
Sasha: "I saw a skirt in Xidan yesterday. It was beautiful."
Fangfang: "I saw a windbreaker in Dongdan the day before yesterday, and I like it very much."
Sasha is with her boyfriend.
Sasha: "I saw a skirt in Xidan yesterday. It was beautiful."
Boyfriend: "How much is it?"
For millions of years, men have been quietly waiting for prey in the grass, and women have been chatting with children in caves. Men and men cooperate because of a clear goal, and then start to act silently after consultation. It is normal for women and women to get together because of the same situation and talk about each other's state and feelings. Therefore, men are projection thinking and women are mapping thinking. Until today, we will see that two men can go fishing without saying a word, but they can squat by the pond for an afternoon; Two women go shopping, even if they don't buy anything, they will talk all day.
Look at the examples of Sasha and Fangfang.
Sasha: "I saw a skirt in Xidan yesterday. It was beautiful." (where to see something, this is the state; What is particularly beautiful is the feeling. )
Fangfang: "I saw a windbreaker in Dongdan the day before yesterday, and I like it very much." Women seem to be chatting happily, but in fact they are all talking about their own affairs. )
Sasha is with her boyfriend.
Sasha: "I saw a skirt in Xidan yesterday. It was beautiful."
Boyfriend: "How much is it?" (Go directly to the problem solver)
Men talk to solve problems, while women talk to describe themselves in problems. Men don't know how to chat with unfamiliar girls because they accept the influence of sexual thinking. He will think: anyway, that's what we are actually doing, or we can meet directly; Or "giving gifts", that is, showing concern; Or "let her know how strong my hunting ability is", which is called display value. In fact, these are all purposeful behaviors. For a woman, unless she is willing to let you enter the pursuit process, it will resist men's purposeful behavior. The relationship between street and street is just not suitable for immediate pursuit, so this is also the fundamental reason why many chat-up offenders are unfavorable in the future.
There is a phenomenon in smooth sexual communication: the active party will adapt to the passive party's way of thinking. As a man, if a woman throws herself at you, of course you can act according to your own thinking, otherwise, you should learn to talk to them in women's language.
The following are some basic principles of SMS chat.
First, know each other's status and often say "What are you doing" (or "Are you busy" and "How are you doing recently". ), and then according to the speed, content and tone of the other party's answer, comprehensively judge the other party's state (busy or not, are you in the mood to chat).
If you feel that the other person is not in the state, then don't continue to send text messages, so as to ensure that you don't make mistakes and are not annoying. You still have a chance in the future.
If you are not sure whether the other party is in a state, for example, the other party replies "at work."
You can answer, "Me too. I'm not busy now. When I suddenly think of you, I will send a message. " Introduce your status, add some feelings and find out your connection. )
This answer is both a communication and a test. It doesn't matter if the other party doesn't come back. You didn't make any mistakes. But as long as the other person is not busy and doesn't hate you, it is usually easy to continue. Girls usually talk about themselves or ask you some questions, such as "We are always busy and will go on a business trip next week." (Describe the status)
You can answer: "envy, I haven't been on a business trip for a long time, and staying in one place feels quite boring." (state+feeling)
Maybe she will continue to say, "What do you envy? We have a hard business trip and have no time to play. " (She also joined the feelings, which is a good sign of improved communication. )
That's it in short. What you say to me is a trivial matter. If you talk too much, you will naturally feel familiar with it, and then you will be invited, and basically you will come naturally.
Remember, always grasp the "state"+"feeling" and find the connection between you and her (it can be the same or different, and it can be a topic of chat).
About the main points of asking questions:
Don't ask questions all the time. Keep talking and asking questions separately to avoid giving the other person an aggressive feeling.
When you are asked a question in the opposite direction, you should answer it well. For example, she asked, "Is your work always leisurely?" Just take this opportunity to introduce yourself, and don't forget to add "What about you?" Finally. It's friendly and easy to keep the chat going.
About the time of texting:
Preferably around 4: 30 pm. Generally speaking, this time is the least busy, whether it's work or school. Moreover, another study claims that at 4: 30 pm, human sexual desire reaches its peak, but this may also be a rumor. Anyway, it is no wonder that many people are polite. ...
About the end of the message:
The characteristic of short messages is that they can be returned or not, so we don't have to worry about why the other party suddenly left without saying goodbye. Of course, be polite and considerate. We are the initiative. If the other party doesn't reply to the text message, it will be regarded as the end of today's communication, and we will contact you another day. At this time, we don't have to ask why people didn't reply to the text message last time, so we can reopen the topic. Try not to text a girl you don't know twice a day, including calling, or people will think you are difficult.
In short, the characteristics of the devil's short message flow are unpretentious, fully aiming at women's psychology, not pursuing wonderful routines like other schools, not asking for merit but asking for nothing (nagging is not long-winded, the temperature should be well grasped), the rope saws wood, the slow work makes fine work, and the iron pestle grinds into needles.
Between the activities of the chat-up class, there is a wonderful teaching content that the devil teacher helps students send text messages to the girls they know, which is more wonderful than the devil teacher chatting with his own girls.
This can only explain another problem: these chats are more handsome than the devil.
When chatting up, if a girl flicks her hair from time to time when talking to you, it is a very good sign that she has unconsciously begun to care about her appearance. But usually only handsome guys can get this kind of treatment. People like me who have lived on inner beauty for almost ten years have never met anyone who teased my hair. It was not until these years that I organized a chat-up class. When the teacher watched others chat up, I found that there was such a beautiful scene in the world, and the follow-up was basically smooth. Please note, however, that only when a strange man accosts her directly can a girl's hair be pulled up, because people often react in an emergency and reveal real information. In normal life, girls will tease their hair, but men don't have to flatter themselves.
In the short message stage, there are three levels of interest indicators.
Low interest: She answers whatever you ask.
You: "What should I do?"
She: "Class."
Moderate interest: She shares her feelings with you.
You: "What should I do?"
She: "class is on, I'm sleepy."
Highly interested: she also wants to know about you.
You: "What should I do?"
She: "I'm in class. I'm sleepy. What about you?"
Let's talk about the dating stage.
It's good to be with you. A friend who has a car can do this test, pass by somewhere, tell her that you have to get off and do something, which will take about 10 minutes (such as picking up clothes from the dry cleaner), and ask her if she would like to wait in the car or go with you. Generally speaking, girls who are interested in you will not choose to wait for you in the car.
It is good to be willing to walk together. For example, after afternoon tea, it's time for dinner. One is a restaurant nearby. You can walk there. The other restaurant is far away, so we have to take a bus to see where she wants to go. Girls who are interested in you will choose to go to a nearby restaurant. In the same way, girls who are not in a hurry to end their date after dinner and don't want to spend any more entertainment, but are willing to walk and chat with you are often the most interesting.
To put it bluntly, "like you" means "like being with you", and "interesting to you" and "interesting to the date you arranged" are different. When MM doesn't know us well enough, it is necessary to strive for meeting opportunities by arranging interesting dates, but don't forget, it depends on whether MM is interested in herself in the end.
Let's talk face to face first.
When dating, if one party talks a lot and the other party listens actively, then usually the listener will be attracted to the speaker. At this stage, listening to you carefully is a very important indicator of a girl's goodwill. Even if you say trivial things, she will listen with relish and respond with questions, which shows that she is interested in you. The reverse is also true, which is exactly what we show in front of the girls we like.
It is worth noting that at the beginning of the date, the girl's confession only shows that she has some trust in you, but if she keeps this state and never pays attention to your situation, it means that you may be regarded as a trash can. Perfect dating communication should be two-way, listening to each other carefully and responding positively. Therefore, when the date reaches a certain stage, you must talk about yourself, so that you can see how interested she is in you from the other person's reaction.
In the process of men chasing women, because of their eagerness to achieve success, we often ignore these simple truths, blindly cater to the needs, and are busy making good feelings, while ignoring the judgment of the other party's interest in you.
In addition, it is emphasized that asking questions is not necessarily an indicator of interest. Some realistic girls will ask, "Where are you from? What job ... "That has nothing to do with interest. People are just pre-screening. At this time, we should recognize what a "material girl" is. It is normal for women to have material requirements for men. Most women will judge whether a man is qualified by his details, which is a euphemism and implicit "woman's way". The "material girls" are often naked and direct, and they adopt the "man's way". From the perspective of evolution, women will face the world like men only if they are unsafe. Therefore, we don't like "material girls", in fact, we don't like insecure women. For example, the famous saying "I'd rather cry in a BMW" that has been widely ridiculed recently-this local girl dare not even think about it. Which man wants to marry a crying wife?
Therefore, just as men should talk and do things like men, women are lovely to us when they are like women, and insecure women tend to think and act like men. For example, "What do you do?" And "What do you do at work?" As men, women are certainly more willing to choose the latter way of speaking. Because the former focuses on social roles (this is the way men think, just like I liked hero ranking when I was a child), and the latter focuses on your state (this is full of femininity), that is, I am interested in you.
The biggest difference between Devil dating science and other schools is to observe each other's state. Because the goodwill cultivated is often limited, but the goodwill excavated is often full of surprises. In the short life, there are always some people who appreciate us and don't miss them, which is our greatest happiness.
At that time, I wrote "What can I do for you?" The success rate is the lowest. Even if MM is friendly, the possibility of getting the number is close to zero.
Now reanalyze it in a critical way. MM's response A is male thinking, response B is female thinking, and response C is also female thinking. And my answer can also be divided into two kinds: male thinking and female thinking. If I answer MM's response B with female thinking-"I just saw you there and thought I might regret not knowing you, so I ran over at the first heat (the description of the incident and my feelings)." The result is basically good, the success rate is 70%, but the success rate is less than 1 0% when it is also used to answer MM's reply1
Now that I have found the problem, MM's response A is male thinking, so I shouldn't answer with female thinking. If you change to a male thinking-"There is something I want to know with you (state the purpose)." Such a clear and firm answer may have a 30-50% chance, so try it. Although the success rate is not high, it is like a goalkeeper taking a penalty. Instead of waiting for the other person to take a step before judging, it is better to find a direction to jump over. Sometimes a man's lifestyle is adventure.
So when you hear "What can I do for you?" At the same time, remember that the girl opposite you is a man at the moment. Unless she is already your girlfriend, you can flirt with her, or just come. And such an answer-"I just want to hear your voice", "I just want to talk to you" or "I just saw you there and thought I might regret not knowing you, so I ran over at the first heat." It will only make her think that you are such a long-winded man.
Example 2 I helped a student make an appointment with MM, and sent the first short message at 6 pm-"Are you home?" MM replied, "I just got home. What's the matter?" This is a typical male thinking reaction, so I immediately invited-"Let's have dinner together at noon tomorrow", and mm replied "OK". It's that simple. However, if MM answers, "I just got home and am tired." It is a typical female thinking. Don't be too direct at this time. You should talk to her mother-in-law for a while, and then invite her when the status comes up.
Example 3: Many men complain that women can't speak their minds and invite short messages-"Let's go to the party tonight?"
The answers of the three girls,
A- "I have to work overtime tonight."
B- "Our dormitory 1 1 will be closed soon."
C- "I live in XXX (a place far from the city)"
Experienced people can tell at a glance that responses A and B are rejection, while response C implies that you are here to provide a solution.
Analysis: Answers A and B are future tense descriptions, which belong to male thinking and directly point to the conflict with invitation. This is a unique way for women to say "no"; Response C is a pure state description, which belongs to female thinking, indicating that girls have a certain sense of security for you and completely avoid conflicts. Even if she can't keep the appointment tonight, she wants to know how good this man will be to herself.
By the way, if a girl with male thinking wants to date you, she will usually say, "Our dormitory 1 1 is closed. Can I come back before it closes?"
Example 4: One of my students accosted the girl she met the next day, and sent a dozen short messages back and forth the next afternoon. The atmosphere was good. The girl was cleaning the room.
So the classmate invited: "What are you going to do after cleaning up the room?"
Girl: "What do you want?"
Student: "I want to talk to you."
Girl: "I was so tired last night that I don't want to go out today."
Analysis: "What do you want?" It belongs to male thinking and represents a certain sense of insecurity. You need to give a clear plan for her to decide, such as "going to a coffee shop near your home", so that girls who may not want to go too far will agree. Remind everyone again that in the face of girls' male thinking state, we should stand firm and have a clear plan, and at the same time be brave in taking risks.
Analysis:
When facing the critical moment of relationship upgrading, women are always accompanied by some insecurity. Some schools call this "anti-mechanism", but it is not necessarily related to morality. I prefer to understand it as a unique phenomenon of women's thinking in gender relations, that is, fear of the unknown. What is unknown in this case is the intimacy that may occur next and the intimacy that may be established. Because most men are concerned about "sexual purpose" and "purpose" at this moment, they tend to ignore other irrelevant feelings, and will only devote themselves wholeheartedly, even risking their lives. On the contrary, those men who hesitate at the last minute are traditionally called "lack of masculinity"
However, the art of dating lies in the balance between masculinity and femininity. If you can go forward and take care of her feelings, then such a man is qualified to be called a "woman lover".
Therefore, "lonely men and few women go out together at night" is easy to make mistakes. In this case, we should focus on how to relax women's feelings at this moment. The reason why they are worried is so vulgar that we don't have to convince them by reason at all, and we can even admit it generously. Just use this routine as a prop, play a word game, do a brain trick and make girls laugh.