20 17 it will be fine on Friday, August 4th.
When I went out for a walk last night, my former colleague Min Jie didn't answer the phone. I called her after I got off work in the morning, but the call lasted for more than an hour.
It turned out that the couple quarreled again. This time, their daughter, who was on vacation at home in her junior year, joined in. I have known them for nearly twenty years. After the man cheated, the couple always quarreled intermittently. Although the daughter has always stood on the mother's side, she has never fired directly at her father. Last night, because her husband went out at night, Sister Min kept calling, but her husband took the first call and stopped. She asked her daughter to call again, but she still didn't answer. And then I came back and had a fight. In the spur of the moment and confusion, my daughter said that her father didn't answer the phone calls from her mother and her, which was a personality problem. The daughter also said that she looked down on her mother's life for so many years and firmly supported divorce.
In this way, the couple's faces hung up. Sister Min can't bear to be angry with her husband now. She is worried about her daughter's mood and the relationship between father and daughter. She is also afraid that their quarreling for half a lifetime will affect her daughter's view of marriage.
After so many years, I saw the couple quarreling. As an outsider, I don't think they are doing it for the economy-both of them have wages and income from appearance rooms, and the economic power is in the hands of Sister Min. Not for housework, Sister Min is essentially the most traditional woman in China. Her husband never touches the spring water at home, even gives her a bowl, and she never complains. When they don't quarrel, it is a face of reverence and happiness to mention their husband, Min Er Jie. It is obvious that she loves this man from the bottom of her heart.
I know Min Jie's husband very well, too. He is handsome, gentle, approachable and successful in his career. Both of them started from scratch and are rural people. After graduating from college, they went from rural areas to county towns and then to cities, which was envied by many people. I believe this man can't let go of Sister Min, otherwise he wouldn't have been quarreling for so many years.
In my opinion, Sister Min always wants to limit people's spare time and friends in the name of caring about each other's health and work prospects, especially if she knows that she and her husband are not "at ease" to go out to party, play and socialize. The so-called woman with a bad reputation will obviously lose control.
The most important thing for a family is equality. There may be differences in economy, but they are definitely equal in character.
Sometimes I feel that Sister Min is very sad. She undertakes all the housework in the family, takes good care of others, waits on others carefully, works hard, and sometimes even appears cautious and eloquent. Obviously, she is an independent, self-reliant and capable woman. Why should she put all her thoughts on her husband, limit his freedom again and again, and pay too much attention to his range of friends? Have no confidence in yourself? Or do you think too much of each other? Or did he make a mistake in this respect, so once bitten, twice shy? Why not change your ways and methods? Why not be self-centered, live a good life and make men nervous?
Sister Min has been active on WeChat for a long time. It is said that she has read a lot of chicken soup for the soul. Why doesn't she apply it to her life? It is better to change yourself than to change anyone. Even in the name of caring for each other, even in the name of his wife, no one can fundamentally change anyone unless he wants to change himself. What's more, he is a big shot with a certain social status and a head.
If he wants to degenerate, he has plenty of time and opportunities. You can chase him everywhere and block him. Really can't. He can also divorce and run away. Instead of spending unnecessary energy on him, take good care of yourself and improve yourself. Blindly being suspicious will only make you nervous, appear unconfident and have no style, and make the other person look down on you.
After all these years, how can she not turn this corner? When people are tired, their hearts are more tired, more laborious and more thankless. Is in the name of health, health is his first, he doesn't care. Why are you joking?
Besides, everyone has their own social circle. It doesn't mean that he can make friends with whoever he wants, but he can keep his distance from whom. Who has the right to comment on other people's social circles? If you don't even have the minimum trust, why are you so hard?
According to my observation, the root of their contradiction is that Min Jie is too eager to grasp and insist, because she cares too much and is too afraid of losing. Everything is centered on men. She is too serious and has lost herself. And her husband is restricted, guessed and knows her reluctance, so he has no scruples.
In this way, the more you pay, the more you will be wronged. Although he has made mistakes, since he agreed to continue, he should not stick to it. After all, a man has social attributes, and he can't just belong to his family. He still needs relative space and freedom. You can't manipulate him more just because of his previous mistakes. No matter how thoughtful you take care of him in life and how much you pay, once you limit his freedom, lose his minimum trust and even make him lose face, all your efforts will be in vain.
If you ask me, both of them are suffering, and they are really enemies. It also affects our daughter and makes things worse and worse.
Maybe my superficial knowledge can't explain all the contradictions in their complicated marriage at all.
However, I firmly believe that two people in marriage should be independent of each other and have their own space. As a woman, we want live high to constantly enrich and improve herself, and have the courage and confidence to live like no one. Two people will be close because of inner appreciation and spiritual attraction, and will also drift away because of too many restrictions, suspicions or the progress of one side and the stagnation of the other.
Woman, no matter what the other person is in marriage, you are better off. This is always the most important!