Literally speaking, the so-called special is different, just different. In other words, special is just a descriptive word, which has no evaluation significance in itself.
Then, so is the particularity of children. Special children only have the meaning of description, but not the function of evaluation. When a child is special, it is just that he is different from other children, not that he is bad or not.
Of course, we admit that some special children are very undesirable, such as children with mental problems, children with hearing problems, children with vision problems, and children with emotional and behavioral problems. On the contrary, some parents want their children to be other types of special children, such as children with particularly good intelligence, children with particularly beautiful looks, children with artistic talent and so on.
However, the moon is full of rain and shine, and people have joys and sorrows. This matter is old and difficult. In many cases, we are not always able to control what kind of children we want. Even in today's highly developed science and technology, we have not stopped the birth of disabled children.
Whether we admit it or not, at this stage, the existence of special children is objective. Or, in reality, from the possibility, no matter who wants to be a parent, it may be related to special children.
Therefore, how to treat special children is a problem that everyone must pay attention to.
1. It is objective to recognize the existence of special children.
When we talk about special children, we actually include two types.
One category includes children with extraordinary intelligence and children with special talents.
One is disabled and disabled children, including mental retardation, blindness, deafness and abnormal emotional behavior.
No matter what kind of special children they are, their existence is objective from a macro and academic point of view. It is particularity that constitutes universality, and particularity is the inevitable way for things to exist.
We have all kinds of extraordinary children, which only shows that we have done a good job in mate selection, eugenics and parenting. On the contrary, if we have disabled or disabled children, it is just that we have not done well in mate selection, eugenics, parenting and lifestyle, and it is not God's punishment for us.
2. Look at children with a normal heart
Therefore, no matter what kind of special children we have, we should treat them with a normal heart like ordinary children. With extraordinary children, you can be ecstatic in a short time, but you must not be complacent for a long time; On the contrary, children with disabilities or obstacles can suffer and be sad for a short time, but they will never feel the pain for life.
No matter what children they are, they are all children. We all need a normal heart to calm down.
Extraordinary children are bright flowers, ordinary children are ordinary flowers, and disabled children are flowers bitten by insects. But they are all flowers. Different flowers have different beauty. There is no reason why we should not treat them equally with a normal heart.
3. Know that everyone may have special educational needs.
Every special educator knows that the so-called special children, from a certain point of view, are children with special educational needs.
In fact, everyone may have special needs at some stage of life or something. At this time, you may need to help them in a special way. For example, for women who have just given birth, changes in hormone levels in the body may lead to depression during childbirth. At this time, we can intervene by drinking male chicken soup. Depression is a special symptom here, and drinking chicken soup is a special need.
The special needs of special children are more reflected in education, or we pay more attention to the special needs of education. For parents of special children, while understanding how to treat their children with a normal heart, they also know that some special or special methods, contents or measures may be needed in education, or ordinary children may not use them very much.
Second, the end of medicine is the beginning of education.
Compared with supernormal children, parents of disabled or disabled children may face greater challenges in educating their children. Parents of disabled children, whether in primary or secondary schools, often go through the following psychological processes when they find their children disabled or disabled:
shock
Some parents often show shock when they find that their children have problems, and the more serious the problem, the more serious the shock. They often don't believe and don't want to admit the facts in front of them, but wonder if they are wrong. This is a process that many parents have experienced in the face of disability and disabled children.
2. Despair
Some parents began to despair when it was confirmed that the problem did exist. There is a feeling that you shouldn't call every day, which is invalid. Some parents who consult often show despair when their children are a few years old or even in junior high school, and cry after saying a few words.
Step 3 see a doctor indiscriminately
In desperation, some parents immediately embarked on the road of seeking medical advice for their children if they suddenly realized.
It should be said that there is nothing wrong with seeking medical treatment. But for most disabled or disabled children, once the symptoms are determined, many doctors or hospitals cannot fundamentally solve the problem. However, some parents irrationally rush around for medical treatment all the year round, and even embark on the road of disorderly medical treatment, which not only wastes a lot of energy and money, but also loses valuable time and opportunity to educate their children.
These medical consultations include not only going to the hospital, but also going to other institutions and even praying for the Buddha. The result can be imagined.
give up
Some parents choose to give up after determining that their children have problems or there is no hope of seeking medical treatment. Such examples are in big cities and in rural areas; It is not uncommon in developed and backward ethnic areas.
It should be said that the shock after discovering the child's symptoms is understandable. However, despair, excessive medical treatment and giving up are all wrong and undesirable behaviors.
There is a jargon in special education that the end of medicine is the beginning of education. In other words, when the medical work is over, the most effective thing is education.
Therefore, our task is to make parents understand that we should overcome these misunderstandings as soon as possible, get rid of bad experiences as soon as possible, and embark on the road of treating children correctly as soon as possible. Here, there are no better countermeasures and methods except correct education and training. This is what every disabled child's parents must know.
Don't believe that certain nutrients or even drugs can make mental retardation normal; Don't believe that practicing qigong will restore children's hearing.
Third, a key opens a lock.
Education for special children needs to teach students in accordance with their aptitude. It can be said that a key can open a lock, melon seedlings can bear melons, and pepper seedlings can bear peppers. In this way, people can get what they want and have no regrets.
Of course, the specific education process may be arduous. However, parents should understand that the earlier this conscious education is, the better it will be for their children's development.
Unfortunately, the early education of disabled and disabled children in China is not as important as ordinary children and extraordinary children. Many times, parents have to make more efforts.
There are three problems that parents must pay attention to.
1. Widespread use of behavior change technology
Behavior change technology is suitable for everyone. However, for young children or children with disabilities or obstacles, conscious use of behavior change technology will receive unexpected results.
Of course, behavior change technology is not only used to cultivate children's good behavior, but also has a very significant effect in language training, life ability training, improvement of cultural achievements, correction of children's defective behavior and so on.
2. Combination of general development and special development
Education or teaching disabled children in accordance with their aptitude requires targeted training.
For example, deaf children's listening, language and sign language training, blind children's early orientation and directional walking training, and Braille training. Life ability training for children with mental retardation, and correction for children with abnormal emotional behavior. These developments are also called special development or specialized development.
However, children are children first, and then special children. Therefore, when we carry out special training, we must not forget that what children need is general development, that is, general training.
If you need to develop a good personality, you need to have a healthy body and spirit, and you need general cultural and scientific knowledge. These trainings are general training or education, and the corresponding development is general development.
Both disabled children's education and extraordinary children's education need to combine general development with special development, that is, combine general education with special education. Only in this way can children benefit from correct education. There are too many examples of neglecting education in reality. In the end, children suffer, which is not good for society.
3. Close cooperation with the school.
Once a child goes to a qualified school or kindergarten, parents should work closely with the school.
But in reality, there are some regrettable examples. Some parents and schools not only can't cooperate, but also blame each other. This is extremely unfavorable to the development of children.
Of course, there are many reasons for the poor cooperation between schools and parents. The psychological distance of the above parents has caused some parents to have some incorrect views on their children. Some people have an overprotective mentality and don't "admit" that their children have problems, let alone allow others-including schools-to say that their children have problems. For example, the behavior of an autistic parent, the behavior of some parents of mentally retarded children and so on.
On the issue of educating children, it is normal to have different opinions with the school, but it should be solved through communication and consultation. Otherwise it will affect the child's development.
Fourth, unite to raise special children.
To have a correct view of special children and start correct education or training as soon as possible also requires parents to unite and let children grow up healthily.
1. Open mind
First of all, parents should have an open mind. Don't think it is a shame to have a special child, especially a disabled child. You should have a normal open mind and try to provide children with broad activities and educational space. Try to find more allies for yourself.
Abroad, in China, Taiwan Province Province, Hongkong and even Shanghai, people bring their disabled children to the conference. This open mind is good for children.
2. The act of communication
There must be communication. Parents in China do not communicate openly in educating their children, and parents of special children, especially disabled children, do not communicate enough. Everyone should organize for the development of children and the interests of the family and the country, and conduct extensive exchanges on a wide range of contents.
3. Cooperative measures
We should also take some measures, such as setting up parent-teacher conferences, parents' associations, holding regular activities, enjoying the fun of children's development, communicating well and fighting for their rights and interests.
I believe that with the participation of parents, the education of special children in China will have a better future.
(The authors are from the Department of Special Education of the School of Special Education of Beijing Union University and the Department of Special Education of the School of Education of Beijing Normal University)