When in your life have you ever been completely disappointed in someone?

Really feel looked down upon by the other party, not loved or liked by the other party. Living in a fantasy, one of my visitors came to me for psychological counseling. She fell into an extramarital affair and was in a state of pain for a long time. Every time I come to consult, I accept and channel her emotions through listening and feeling. There is nowhere to tell her secret love, so it is the best way to find a psychological counselor, because the psychological counselor will provide a safe space for visitors and strictly keep the secrets of visitors. Only in front of the counselor can visitors feel safe and be accepted. Even if they have an affair, they can be understood by the counselor and will not feel ashamed. So after every conversation, my visitors feel understood and accepted, and the backlog of emotions has been vented and they can leave happily.

My visitor consulted me for more than 60 times, which lasted 1 years. Finally, I had an epiphany and ended this relationship completely. People felt extremely relaxed. Why do visitors have to go through so many consultations and take so long to realize it? This is related to the psychological growth of visitors. Accompanied by a patient psychological counselor (me), visitors constantly explore and analyze themselves, review their relationship with their parents when they were young, understand that the object of their infatuation is actually the result of empathy, and at the same time project the image of their ideal father on themselves. Empathy means that you transfer your feelings for A to B. For example, you bet with someone who is similar to your father and think he is your father. Unconsciously, you have returned to the previous interaction mode with your father. The so-called projection is the part that your father could not satisfy you in the past. You see it in the ideal object and expect to satisfy it through the ideal object.

When I was a child, my visitor never got her father's attention because her parents preferred sons to daughters. She always felt that her father didn't love her. So she always tries to make up for this shortcoming through the object of marriage and love. When she empathizes with her father on the object of extramarital affairs, she expects his attention and care to make up for her childhood regrets. However, the object of this extramarital affair is also a family, which can't meet her requirements and can't bear to hurt her, so she adopts an attitude of not taking the initiative and not refusing. This aroused her fighting spirit even more, just as she tried to attract her father's attention and care countless times when she was a child, she repeated the childhood model and constantly tried to attract the attention and care of her extramarital partners. She constantly shows herself in front of him and often asks each other, do you love me? This makes the other party very tired. Although the other person responded to her with a cold attitude and only kept close contact with her occasionally, she still held great hopes and wanted to change each other and get their love. She falls into fantasy and self-deception, often exaggerating each other's kindness to herself, while ignoring each other's indifference and indifference. She always feels that the other person is loving and finds various reasons to let the other person ignore her. But she can't completely convince herself that the other person loves her, so she is always suspicious and painful.

So she struggled in pain. Lawyer, I can't wake up a suit.