I like a sentence very much: in the past, horses and chariots were far away, letters were slow, and I only loved one person in my life. This sentence has caused me to think about why the marriage of the older generation started very simply, but most of them can support each other for a lifetime. It is rare to hear the news of the divorce of the older generation.
However, in today's society, divorce is everywhere, and many people even divorce in a flash, taking marriage as a child's play.
Today's life is more than 1000 times better than in the past, and our education and knowledge have been greatly improved, but marriage is not as good as that of the older generation.
Nowadays people always have problems in marriage, and there are more and more contradictions and frictions. In the end, they all choose divorce. Someone revealed the mystery: in the hearts of the older generation, things can still be used when they are broken and repaired; Nowadays, young people, when things are broken, their first thought is to throw them away and replace them with new ones.
The same is true of marriage. When the marriage of the older generation has problems, the first idea is always "done", so divorce is rare, because marriage has gone a long way in this patchwork state; Now, once there is a problem in marriage, both parties are unwilling to run a marriage and choose to divorce directly.
-02-
I have always thought that marriage is a very complicated thing. Everyone should learn how to run a marriage.
Because marriage is always an easy thing, two people can get married as long as they think the other person is suitable. But running a marriage is extremely difficult.
In marriage, couples face not only the emotional problems of two people, but also the relationship of family background.
Being born in a family is an extremely important part for every couple. If it is not handled well, it will easily lead to problems in marriage.
Take the old-fashioned relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, for example, because the man's family relationship has not been handled well. This has led to the mother-in-law unscrupulously interfering in the marital life of husband and wife, resulting in frequent conflicts with the daughter-in-law. Among them, there is the responsibility of the mother-in-law and the responsibility of the man.
Many people are distressed by the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. And learned a lot of solutions on the internet or in reality. But when it is really applied to yourself, it is not easy to use. Such a failure is also frustrating, and at the same time it will also lose confidence in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
In fact, every mother-in-law relationship will have its own characteristics, because everyone's personality is different. Therefore, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can not be handled completely according to other people's methods, but should be handled in combination with reality. Only in this way will it be handy.
-03-
Every family has its own problems, and everyone will have their own troubles when they live in the world. Xiao Lu's problem is her marriage.
She and her husband have been married for six years, and their feelings are not as deep as when they first got married, and there are frequent problems in their married life. Among them, what annoys Lu Xiao most is the handling of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Lu Xiao spat out her mother-in-law and couldn't stop. We can see that her heart hates her mother-in-law, and from what she said, we can feel that Lu Xiao's mother-in-law is really an unreasonable person.
Xiao Lu has a happy family, a successful career and a relatively high income. She bought a house by herself before she got married. Men know this when they are in love with their husbands.
Xiao Lu's husband is a civil servant. Although his income is not as high as that of Lu Xiao, it is very stable. Lu Xiao's parents are quite satisfied with men, so they approve of their marriage.
However, this man's mother has some disdain for Lu Xiao. She felt that Lu Xiao was not worthy of her son, who was a civil servant and so excellent, while Lu Xiao was an employee of a private enterprise and could not compare with her son.
But she completely ignored the fact that Lu Xiao earned much more money than her son.
-04-
After they got married, they lived in the wedding room bought by the man's family. Lu Xiao asked her to rent out the house, and the rent could supplement the family.
Like most couples, their feelings have gone through the process from being madly in love to being dull. Especially after Lv Xiao gave birth to a child, the focus of her life was completely on the child.
In fact, apart from time, the relationship between Lu Xiao and her husband will fade, largely because of her mother-in-law.
Mother-in-law Xiao Lu is eager to protect her son. She is not at ease after her son gets married, and often comes to stay for a few days every three weeks. He often talks about the way of life in Xiao Lu.
At first, Lu Xiao could bear it, but seeing her mother-in-law look down on her expression and unreasonable behavior, Lu Xiao didn't give her face at all. I often quarrel with my mother-in-law, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been bad.
Xiao Lu's husband did not take the initiative to adjust the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but avoided it. This also disappointed Xiao Lu.
Because of her mother-in-law's intervention, Lu Xiao's married life began to become a chicken feather.
-05-
An incident that happened before made Xiao Lu very angry. The reason is because she bought her own house before marriage.
Lu Xiao's father-in-law suddenly fell ill and was hospitalized a few days ago, and spent a lot of money. Lu Xiao and her husband also took a lot of money, but it was still not enough. In desperation, her mother-in-law chose to sell her house to her husband for treatment.
Fortunately, the condition has been controlled and the body is slowly recovering. There is still a difficult problem before them, that is, where to live.
In fact, Xiao Lu knew that her mother-in-law had sold a lot of money in that house, and after throwing away the money for her father-in-law's medical treatment, the rest was enough to buy a small square meter building.
Unexpectedly, my mother-in-law didn't do this at all, but lived directly at Lu Xiao's house before marriage without saying hello.
These Xiao Lu also endured, thinking that they are a family anyway, so let's live. Unexpectedly, her mother-in-law found her and asked her to transfer the house to her. She also hypocritically took out 200,000 yuan and said that she wanted to buy a house in Lu Xiao.
Lu Xiao was in a hurry. When she bought this house, she had more than one million yuan, but now it has increased a lot. Two hundred thousand can't even buy a toilet. My mother-in-law simply wanted to occupy her own house, so she refused directly.
Mother-in-law refused to give up, and began to fight. She called her son and insisted that Lu Xiao transfer the house to her.
-06-
I didn't expect the man to have the cheek to ask for a little action: "Otherwise, promise my mother. It's ours sooner or later anyway. Now it's the same as transferring it to her. "
Lu Xiao gave him a cold look and said directly, "I bought this house before marriage, it's my own, and it's for my son." If your mother is so unreasonable, I'll kick her out. "
Unexpectedly, when her mother-in-law heard this, she pointed to Lu Xiao's nose and scolded her: "You are a scheming woman, and now you still want to leave property for yourself. You and my son are not United at all! I said from the beginning that you don't deserve my son! "
Xiao Lu was even more anxious and interrupted her: "Shut up and move out of my house." Mother-in-law importune: "This is my son's. You married my son, and this house belongs to my son! " "
Lu Xiao was so angry that she had a big fight with her mother-in-law. When she got home, she had another quarrel with her husband and was in a bad mood.
Women like Xiao Lu are not uncommon. Some have bad feelings with their husbands, and some don't get along well with their mother-in-law. So marriage is also extremely painful.
Faced with this situation, I think the first thing a woman should do is to calmly sort out the relationship with her husband over the years, find out the problems and record them one by one.
Secondly, we should always communicate with our husbands, explain the problems thoroughly and solve contradictions. Secondly, in the face of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, women must let their husbands come forward to adjust and let men convince their mothers.
Only in this way can we solve all kinds of contradictions in marriage step by step.