Should husband and wife help their relatives after they get married? Many people have their own opinions on this issue. Some people think that after all, they are relatives, and blood is thicker than water, so they should be helped as much as possible. Others don't think so. They think that since they are married, they should put the family first. If they help their relatives, it is likely to affect their families.
In fact, Pan Xiao believes that it is necessary to help relatives have a "degree". For those who don't know how to be grateful and think that "helping him is right", don't continue to help such relatives. And those who know how to be grateful, who know how to be grateful, we can do our best to help them.
Of course, there are differences in helping relatives. After all, both husband and wife have their own relatives, but those who help your family ignore my relatives. Doing so will also cause conflicts between husband and wife. Therefore, when helping relatives, husband and wife should also coordinate and communicate well, and it is best for husband and wife to discuss how to help and how to help. Never help relatives and cause conflicts between husband and wife.
People like "Brother Helper" and "Phoenix Man", who are very popular on the Internet now, are particularly hated because they help their loved ones and ignore their small family, and they have no bottom line. Their examples also tell us that to help the people you love, you need to have a ruler in your heart, know when to help and when not to help, and especially know where the bottom line of your other half is.
-02-
Reader Xiaolin has one thing that makes her feel very entangled and painful. She told Pan Xiao what happened to her in private. With her consent, Pan Xiao wrote her story for everyone to see.
Xiaolin is just 30 years old this year and has been married to her husband for just two years. Originally, she had a good relationship with her husband, but now they are very unhappy because of her husband's younger brother after marriage.
In fact, the root of the matter lies in Xiaolin's mother-in-law, who has two sons. Xiao Lin's husband is the eldest son, but her mother-in-law loves her youngest son very much. The contradiction between Xiao Lin and her husband is caused by her mother-in-law's eccentricity.
Xiao Lin and her husband met when they were working in other places. They talked about love for about a year and got married. When getting married, the husband took Kobayashi back to his hometown and bought a wedding room in his hometown county.
However, after marriage, the couple discussed it and decided to work together in big cities to make money because they felt that they could not make money in the county. So the houses in the county are always empty.
-03-
Xiao Lin and her husband rented a room in a big city, and it was hard every day. The two plan to save money while they are young, and then go back to the county to do some small business when the money is enough.
Although the work is hard, Kobayashi has a hope in his heart and doesn't feel tired at all.
Not long after, the mother-in-law came to consult the eldest son and said that his brother was married and had no house, so he lived in their wedding room first. Anyway, they are not at home and the house is empty.
The man went home and discussed it with Kobayashi. Xiao Lin thinks the house is empty, too. Let the brother-in-law and his family live in first.
At that time, her mother-in-law promised Xiaolin that her brother-in-law would buy a house after living for one year and then return it to them.
Xiao Lin found that her mother-in-law had been particularly fond of her brother-in-law since she married a man, and she was almost responsive. Some of the money earned by my husband after working for so many years was subsidized by my mother-in-law.
After getting married, my mother-in-law said that she needed 1000 yuan for living expenses every month, and Xiaolin and her husband had to give her alimony every month. But as far as Kobayashi knows, the money also went into the brother-in-law's pocket.
Kobayashi and her husband worked outside for about a year and a half, and Kobayashi was pregnant. In order to raise the baby with peace of mind, Kobayashi returned to his hometown.
However, when Kobayashi returned home, he found that the brother-in-law family had not moved out at all, and they still continued to live in their own wedding room.
Now that Xiaolin has gone home, she needs a place to live herself. So I discussed with my brother-in-law and asked them to move out.
-04-
I didn't expect my mother-in-law to know about it, so she immediately came to Xiaolin and told her to live in her own house. She also said that the youngest son hasn't found a suitable house yet, so let him continue to live.
Xiao Lin was embarrassed, because now that she was pregnant, she would stay in the county. I still want to live in this house, and my brother-in-law will move out sooner or later. It is better to move now.
I didn't expect my mother-in-law to change her face directly, saying that Xiaolin was cold-blooded and heartless and didn't help her brother-in-law. I am very angry with Xiao Lin.
Kobayashi went back to his wedding room and drove his brother-in-law out directly. She also decided to go back to the big city to discuss with her husband first. But the wedding room had to come back, so she made a decision and rented it out.
Because of the rental problem of the house, her mother-in-law and Xiaolin had a big fight and threatened to divorce her son. Husband also called to complain that she was not sensible and made her mother angry.
Xiao Lin felt very wronged and had a big fight with her husband directly.
Because of this incident, Kobayashi had doubts about marriage for the first time and felt that he had married the wrong person.
Pan Xiao believes that helping relatives needs to consider the feelings of the other half. The first thing Kobayashi's husband did wrong was not to consider his wife's feelings. It is ok to help my brother, but he also needs to know the bottom line of his wife. Otherwise, the loss will outweigh the gain.
Between relatives, help or not, in fact, should be maintained in a "voluntary" state, can not be forced.