Contemporary college students are basically post-80s. Due to the influence of society, school, family and themselves, some college students have obvious interpersonal difficulties, which leads to a series of bad campus problems and occasionally becomes one of the focuses of social attention.
First of all, college students have various communication barriers.
College students are divided into classes according to majors and departments according to disciplines. Classes and departments are the groups where they live. If a simple high school student is despised by others or rejected by collective activities after going to college, is not good at communication and is not improved through change, he may enter a state of loneliness and depression, which may plague his life for four years and even affect his future behavior. Because of their shallow experience, college students generally lack experience in dealing with interpersonal relationships. On the one hand, college students' communication difficulties are driven by instinct, on the other hand, they are accustomed to the acquired self-centered behavior mode. Sometimes they can't adapt, accept and understand the natural laws of equal quarrel, reasonable collision and normal running-in between peers, so the group can't tolerate them objectively. Subjectively, I can't accommodate the group myself.
Main symptoms ① Self-seclusion: living in one's own world, not adapting to or interested in external things, and unwilling to associate with others. 2 Impulsive type: For a small thing that happens around you, it is often solved through excessive behavior. The quality of college students' interpersonal relationship in school directly affects their study, life and work. Harmonious interpersonal relationship can make people happy physically and mentally, thus promoting learning and improving work efficiency. However, a considerable number of college students are now in indifferent and alienated interpersonal relationships. They are unhappy, and sometimes they have hostile and hateful attitudes, which leads to aggressive behavior and is harmful to their physical and mental health.
Second, the reasons for communication barriers among college students
There are many reasons that affect college students' communication problems. Generally speaking, there are the following points:
1, the development of social population policy and the influence of family life. Family life under the new population policy often leads children to form a "self-centered" behavior pattern. When these children get together in a group, there will be a population problem with China characteristics. Before 1980s, there was not only a "vertical" relationship among families in China, but also a "horizontal" relationship. The "horizontal" relationship is reflected in the fact that each family basically has more than two children, and the children in the neighborhood visit each other. It is inevitable that friends will get hurt, quarrel and cry when they are laughing and fighting, but children learn to compete and cooperate in the process of playing games and form the concept of interpersonal communication. Since the family planning policy of "one husband and one son" was implemented in China, most families in China are only children, and the "horizontal" relationship has disappeared. Children enjoy the care and even doting brought by "vertical" blood relatives (grandma, parents), and the lack of small collective environment leads to the lack of collective honor and cooperation spirit; The excessive arrangement of parents makes the only child lack the minimum ability to live independently and communicate with others after going to college; Lack of frank mentality and extreme understanding. Xiaowu went to college. Before long, he felt that the dormitory was too narrow and the class was boring. He rented a house off campus alone and took a female classmate from the northwest to live with him. He provides her with food and accommodation for free, and she washes and cooks and sleeps with him every day. It is not clear whether this is a young couple or a master-servant relationship. When the news reached Xiaowu's hometown, the mother felt that the child was making too much noise and made a long-distance call to find fault. Unexpectedly, the child's neck is quite reasonable: "You have spoiled me since I was a child, and I can't do laundry and cook. How can a person live? " . "Quite critical". From Wu's family, we can see new problems in contemporary campus.
2. The influence of campus environment.
The university has a relatively open learning environment, and students living in it absorb many ideas and behaviors, which will lead to contradictions if they are not handled properly. Compared with middle schools, the management mode of universities is relatively loose, emphasizing personal interests and development. During middle school, accommodation is concentrated or at home, and daily arrangements are fixed. The head teacher also served for several years and met every day. Familiar faces, similar languages and customs constitute their familiar living environment. Stepping into the university, people around me come from different regions, have never met before, have different languages and customs. You have to rely on your communication skills to adapt to this environment. University is a bridge to society. College students can communicate with social workers, and can freely enter and leave Internet cafes or even surf the Internet directly in the dormitory.
3. College students' own factors.
University is one of the most intense and obvious psychological changes in a person's life. If you can't evaluate yourself and others correctly, and you can't choose and develop yourself correctly, it will affect your life. College students have greater autonomy on campus. College students can delve into vast professional knowledge and roam the vast virtual internet space. Unfortunately, students who are obsessed with games can't extricate themselves from the "anti-terrorism" and "legendary" interfaces, and ignore the interpersonal communication between classmates, friends and teachers, because the reality is far from virtual wonderful. If such college students have weak self-control, they will feel that they are not smooth and even hit people. In addition, college students who do not pay attention to the cultivation of interpersonal relationships like to go it alone in a highly competitive society, tend to be self-enclosed, and are not good at communicating and cooperating with others to prevent self-exposure and lose competitiveness. Xiaoling is a quiet and introverted student. She was admitted to the university from the countryside with high scores. At first, she was full of passion, but soon she found that she didn't know how to communicate with others. Seeing others chatting happily and participating in various activities happily, she felt extremely nervous and uneasy, and even didn't want to appear in crowded places. She has the idea of going home. From the perspective of cognitive psychology, the cognitive image of interpersonal communication comes from experience and feeling. The experience of interacting with people is like inputting information into the brain, and the feelings generated in the process of interaction are like a software package, which was combined into a file after being processed and realized at that time. Like Xiaoling and those children who often stay at home alone, learning is the main task in middle school and they seldom contact with others. They lack the objective environment and the ability to communicate with people in the process of growing up, so they can't form the experience and reality of communicating with people, so they can't form the cognitive image of interpersonal communication. This makes them feel at a loss and lack confidence in the relatively colorful life on the university campus.
Third, suggestions to improve college students' communicative competence
According to the dialectical thought that internal factors dominate external factors, in order to improve college students' communicative competence, we should first set up compulsory courses to change their thinking; Then, carry out individual information consultation activities to realize "point-to-surface combination"
1, set up compulsory courses in communication and psychology, and conduct open and positive publicity and education.
Everyone has a desire to discover the secrets of others. Generally speaking, only by opening your heart can you enter other people's hearts. Being kind to others is the first step to achieve ideological communication and emotional harmony. When you encounter disagreement in the process of communication, look at the problem through role exchange, and maybe you will gain unprecedented understanding. At the same time, we should understand that everyone has the right to keep their own opinions and live according to their own wishes. Don't force others to change and respect others, but ask others to cooperate with others with an open mind. Roommate's friends come to visit, receive them warmly, and don't make any noise between classes. Good interpersonal relationships start with every little thing around you.
2. Develop psychological counseling services and improve the role of psychological counseling.
School psychological consultation is an important way to improve students' psychological health and optimize their psychological quality, and it is also an important part of psychological quality education. College students' personality is becoming more and more mature and stable, their values and world outlook are basically formed, and they show unique views on many issues, but they may also tend to be stubborn and obsessed. Although some students are not willing to communicate with their classmates at ordinary times, they have certain needs for psychological counseling and may be explained and comforted by the school psychological counseling teacher. Under the current conditions of "school-to-school communication" and "school-to-school communication", it is suggested that schools set up "no-meeting, anonymous" text and voice synchronous consulting service on the computer network, so that this work will be loved by the majority of students and become one of the modern education brands of the school.
3. Strengthen the communication between schools and families, and form a joint educational effort among students, parents and teachers.
Parents are children's first teachers, and family education is particularly important in one's educational experience. Children's emotions, understanding and values are greatly influenced by family education.