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Marriage, to some extent, is the embodiment of "merging into one".
Seeing such a sentence: choosing a person to get married is to choose a way of life.
Think about this sentence, it's true. Everything is a new starting point from one's family to one's husband's family or one's own family.
Women, in particular, should experience more. If you live in your in-laws' house, you will inevitably cater to other people's living habits, and there are many things that need to be adjusted. If the young couple buy or rent a house alone, they will have to face different living habits.
And all this will mean that with the passage of time, daily necessities will gradually replace sweet passion.
Women may still have a feeling that when they get married, they should handle all the big and small things with their lover, but is this right?
A few days ago, my girlfriend spit out her husband's circle of friends and someone blocked her. Isn't this a sign of something fishy? There is no reason for couples to block their circle of friends.
After careful observation, I know that both my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law are blocking her, which makes my girlfriend more wronged and the family has a good discussion.
I asked my girlfriends what they usually send in their circle of friends, and my girlfriends said it was a happy photo of the family together, so I asked, "Why are you so angry about this?"
My best friend said, "Can you not be angry? If they block me, I don't know what their activities are! "
I asked, "Then why do you have to know?"
My best friend said, "I don't care if my husband spends money on their activities."
I am speechless, and I feel that my best friend is a little too wide. After careful questioning, it turns out that everyone blocked their girlfriends because they wanted them to have a good life.
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My best friend has an illusion in marriage, that is, "what is yours is mine, and I want to take care of it."
So, her husband wants to buy some supplements for the elderly, and the girlfriends calculate before and after; My sister-in-law took her mother-in-law to travel, and my girlfriend questioned whether her husband paid for it; My mother-in-law wants to buy a new washing machine, and her girlfriends are full of recommendations, but she doesn't like what she recommends, and then she is full of anger. ...
There are many such things. The best friend cares too much and is too enthusiastic, so the couple quarreled over a little housework.
Her husband thought, "Don't fuck my mom's snacks."
My best friend said, "What do you mean by your mother's house? I have to take care of what is not your existence and what is not your money. "
Her husband replied, "Then you didn't earn my money, so you can't manage your own money after I give you food and clothing?"
The best friend replied, "no, what is yours is mine!" "
The quarrel was fruitless, so everyone decided to block her circle of friends, know less and make less trouble, and save money.
I really don't blame others for shielding. Such people can't stand it. Even if you are a wife and the only hostess in the family, you should not interfere in everything.
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Marriage is a process of turning a blind eye, especially when both parties treat their loved ones. Too much partner management will really breed many contradictions.
Cai Kangyong said, "I encourage everyone to be a calm person. Being too enthusiastic is not the way to maintain a good relationship. "
You know, your enthusiasm will bring pressure to others. Although you are a family when you get married, women should put themselves in a state of "outsiders" moderately.
Sister Bei, a neighbor, has been married for more than ten years and gets along well with her in-laws. Sister Bei often says, "It's best to keep your distance from your in-laws."
Sister Bei's attitude towards marriage is that as long as her husband can treat her well and arrange her account and family expenses properly, he will be satisfied.
Her husband is a very traditional dutiful son and has been trying to repay his parents. In this regard, Sister Bei never interferes, nor does she say that he spends too much money.
Sister Bei's mother-in-law especially likes her personality, because she has never interfered in their affairs since she got married, and she is too lazy to take care of it as long as she doesn't interfere with her family.
At this point, my mother-in-law is very satisfied, because her mother-in-law has become the master herself and her son is filial. This daughter-in-law is not in charge, of course she is happy.
Sister Bei often said, "When you get married, you don't have to eat the same pot. You are more free in your own kitchen."
Therefore, her and her husband's economy has always been independent, and everything at home is smooth. The husband is kind to his parents, never forgetting his parents-in-law, never prevaricating or perfunctory.
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This method of staying out of the way avoids many unnecessary contradictions, and the relationship between husband and wife has always been very good.
Mother-in-law often says: married daughter-in-law forgets mother. But Sister Bei's mother-in-law often said, "It is filial to marry a daughter-in-law."
Listen to Sister Bei, she got married at her brother-in-law's house last year, and her husband is going to pay to decorate the house. Sister Bei won't interfere with this, but the amount is too large. Sister Bei gives her husband a family bill, including the recent children's education expenses, family expenses, living expenses and even telephone bills, and then shows it to her husband, so that he can decide for himself whether the decoration expenses or family expenses are important.
Husband is the head of the family, and the burden is on his shoulders. In the end, he can't even pay the decoration fee.
In fact, if you think about it carefully, many contradictions in marriage are caused by these relatives. If this time Sister Bei made it clear that she did not agree to pay the decoration fee, it might definitely be a contradiction. Her husband will also think that Sister Bei provoked brotherhood, which not only failed to realize family expenses, but also affected their feelings.
Sister Bei is most satisfied that her husband is good enough for her. As long as it's about Sister Bei, my husband will answer everything, which is enough. As long as his love for her remains unchanged, she will not interfere in her husband's family affairs.
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Carnegie said: "People's inner happiness comes from happiness and gratitude for their existing life."
In fact, you don't have to worry about many things in your husband's family. If you don't know, don't worry. There are many beautiful things to pursue in life, and you don't have to find a sense of existence in your husband's house.
There are too many places that reflect the value of a person's life. Don't look for resentment in the in-laws who can't get in. It is better to think of yourself as an "outsider" and be an unimportant bystander.
Many clever women turn a blind eye. In marriage, what you have to do is to deal with the relationship between husband and wife and educate the children. As for other grievances, it is a blessing to stay away.
It's really not worth getting yourself into trouble for some other people's housework.
You know, most women will always be "outsiders" after they marry their in-laws, not to say that they don't treat you as a family, but that their in-laws and sisters-in-law have their own way of life, so you don't have to interfere in everything.
Being nice to you may make you say something, and looking down on you will definitely be rebuffed. Therefore, it is difficult for an upright official to distinguish between housework and in-laws affairs, so it is better to stay out of it.
This article originated from The Story of a Flower Shadow. Huaying story, the story in your heart, wakes you up at dawn and sleeps with you at night.