In psychological counseling, some visitors hope that the counselor will give them a suggestion immediately and the problem will be solved. Psychological counselors have some difficulties in giving advice to visitors. So, do you give advice to tourists? Let's see what happens.
Counseling is the third stage of psychological counseling feedback. The first two stages are praise and bridging, paving the way for giving or not giving advice.
? Praise is to affirm the parties themselves and their efforts to establish an effective solution. Praise can support the success of the parties and consolidate it. Praise can confirm and emphasize what is most important. Remember to praise all the people present and their relationship. For example, you are good families and care about each other's opinions. Praise can create hope, bring strength to the client, let him see the exception of success, bring surprises to the client and produce dramatic effects.
? It is meaningful for involuntary parties to praise their efforts when they come, and it is meaningful for complaining parties to point out the keys and clues provided by their experiences.
? The bridge connects praise and suggestions. The explanation of the bridge is to let the parties do something different now, so that the parties feel that the suggestions are meaningful and valued by them. The bridge provides a basic good reason for all parties to make suggestions. The bridge chooses a conjunction from the parties' goals, exceptions, advantages or opinions to make the suggestion look reasonable and valuable. The bridge will emphasize the importance of the parties who want to reduce the current crisis and the people who the parties pay special attention to and take care of during the crisis. For these people, it is necessary to implement the following suggestions to arouse the parties' higher attention and execution motivation:
1. I agree with you that it's time to do something. ...
Because you made me believe how serious your problem is and how important it is to you, our advice to you is ...
Because it is obvious to me that you are safe now. ...
On the one hand, I think your question is a symbol of asking for help. On the other hand, I think you can try and think more. ...
The suggestion is very important to the parties, simple and feasible, and it is better to be an experimental action, not a homework or task that must be done. The language description of providing suggestions is an experimental attitude: the success of the experiment belongs to the parties, and the failure of the experiment is a natural result.
For the parties in crisis, we should pay special attention to the information in the questions, which are helpful actions, which are strengths, which are initial successes, and which are people, things and actions that can help him cope with difficulties. Suggest that the parties concerned continue to do more helpful things.
The consultant will give advice according to the customer's views on how to change, and will also consider the customer's motivation and efforts to change, and accept that he is too depressed, too tired or afraid to take action.
There are two types of suggestions: observational suggestions and behavioral suggestions.
? Observational advice is to advise the client to observe how the accidental exception happens, for example, to observe how it happened at the moment when he was calm and didn't want to hurt himself, and to ask the client to observe what happened in his life that he thought could point to the clue to solve the problem. Question: Pay attention to how you control and calm the thoughts that you want to hurt yourself. What are you doing when you can control it? What's different about life? Please observe yourself this week. What do you want to continue to happen? Observation will turn exceptions into predictions and hints, and visitors will have the intention to realize self-certification predictions, which will help stabilize their emotions.
Behavior suggestion is that during the interview, the parties find exceptional experience or coping strategies and are willing to actively deal with the problem. At this time, they can directly put forward behavior suggestions, such as: suggesting the parties to do more exceptional and coping actions, trying to do some miracle content, choosing a day to pretend that a miracle has happened, and taking this action so that they will not feel lonely and want to hurt themselves when they are with friends, and they can invite the parties to design some actions for themselves this week. For example:
? 1. Pretend to be a plan
? Pretending to be forced is very suitable for people with high depression. It may be effective to pretend that the content of the plan is often the customer's exceptional experience and is related to his desired goal:
? You don't have to do anything special, but imagine that you are already implementing the solution before going to bed every night, and play the scene of the successful solution in your mind before going to bed every night, just like a movie screen.
Whenever you think of this pile of problems in your mind, please start replaying the successful solutions in your mind, imagine the solutions you want to implement three times a day, and then think about what you might start doing. Whenever you see an opportunity, practice what you can do in your mind.
Psychological counselors can invite the family members of the visitors to play the role without telling each other, but they need to observe what changes others have made and what influence they have exerted.
? Predict tomorrow's state
? Psychological counselors can ask clients to predict their scores every night, so that they can find the prediction inaccurate, break the fear of self-realization, or use the accuracy that clients can predict to expand their observation and control. Predictive suggestions are also very helpful to patients with chronic diseases.
? Toss a coin
? The suggestion of flipping a coin can create the possibility of change.
For example, you get up every morning and toss a coin. If it is positive, you can live as usual that day. Beat your boyfriend if you don't leave. If not, you will live as if you had left your boyfriend, and observe how different this experiment will be.
? 4. Even and odd days
? Even and odd suggestions can create the possibility of change.
? Give yourself ten minutes every day. When the date is an odd day, write down your worries and negative thoughts with a pen. A kind of worry is written on a note, and remind yourself with an alarm clock that the alarm clock will stop when 10 minute arrives. On even days, you divide what you wrote the day before into two piles. One is what you think you need to spend more time thinking, and the other is what you think you want to stop thinking. Then, ten minutes later, burn this pile of post-it notes you want to stop. Most importantly, when you start worrying about something again, tell yourself that I will have exclusive time to think about these things.
? 5. Substitution behavior
For those who have self-harm behavior, lipstick can be used instead of blood red, and those who like pain can use ice to touch themselves instead.
For the parties who have no intention to change at present, the consultant will not give any advice, because giving advice will often make the parties stay away.
In the feedback, the counselor just praised and appreciated him, and expressed the hope that he would see how happy he was next time, and that he would help him find out what meaningful help was next time, and establish and maintain the willingness and cooperative relationship for the interview. For the clients who strongly refuse to consult, but are in crisis, psychological counselors may pay more attention to the cooperation and active assistance with the client's system and related important people besides continuing to try and establish relationships. Simple feedback and reminders before the end are also helpful to him. You can say this: How will you keep yourself safe? What do you think will help you when you have a bad day? How to remind yourself to continue to do these useful strategies? When you notice that you are crying again, what are your different ways to deal with it? How did you know this would work?
? Psychological counselors can write feedback and remind clients on paper and let them take them home, so as to constantly remind themselves.